Go to the edge of your comfort zone, cross the border, then keep going

Go to the edge of your comfort zone, cross the border, then keep going

Are you doing a university degree that you don’t really like or staying in a job that you don’t really care about? Maybe you want to travel but you’re too afraid to go alone.

Well, this week I heard from a former work colleague who was a lot like you are now. But guess what?! He’s just decided to blow his comfort zone out of the water.

Like a lot of 20-somethings, he has a huge amount of potential but he was stuck in his comfort zone and kept waiting for someone else to join him so he could begin his adventures. Until now.

A few days ago, he sent me a PM which said:


“…You implored me to stop trying to wait for other people and just get out there regardless if they come with you or not. Well, I decided to up and go on a holiday by myself to Bali, because no one else could get time off and I wanted to go…”

Receiving this kind of message makes my day, month and year because he has chosen to bust through his comfort zone and do what he really wants without waiting for someone else. And his life and perspectives will expand exponentially because he has chosen to move past his comfort zone into the unknown.

I meet so many people who are waiting for approval or someone to join them before they make the change they want in their life. But the honest truth is, that may never happen. And that will be a wasted life because one day you will be 95 years old, sitting in a rocking chair with false teeth and barely any hair, and you will be thinking, F@CK why didn’t I go for what I wanted instead of what was comfortable? Now it’s too late.

Stop waiting.

Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash

Travel log: Perugia to Verona (the long way)

Travel log: Perugia to Verona (the long way)

Well, I arrived in Verona yesterday and will be here for the next seven days. I wish I could say my trip here was all ease and grace but sadly, it wasn’t.

I left the AirBnB apartment in Perugia with Riccardo (the owner) and Sonya (the other traveller staying there) waving to me from the door as I awkwardly shuffled my luggage into the tiny lift. They  both got up especially to see me off and I was touched (particularly as they looked as though they could easily sleep for another three hours).

I boarded the train from Perugia successfully and then found myself in conversation with three Americans (a couple and another woman). The couple were a little older, well-travelled and he was a lawyer with a passion for food, Italy and travelling in general. He reminded me of that actor Robert Klein in Two Weeks’ Notice. Their daughter was flying in later that day and they would take her shopping in Milan for her wedding dress over the next week- what a lovely engagement gift. He talked about the importance of creating experiences his children would remember. I loved that. Experiences are what you take with you.

The other woman was friendly and clearly enjoying her trip after indulging in some wonderful shopping for scarves and wine. However, she did spend a significant amount of time talking about how AirBnBs aren’t really clean (i.e. dust under the bed) and how the food in Italy doesn’t taste the same as it does back home (e.g. tiramisu). Why people expect things to be the same as they are ‘back home’ is beyond me. If you want things to be the same then don’t go anywhere. However, it was clear she was doing her best to push her own comfort limits generally and she was nice enough.

Unfortunately, as we pulled into Firenze (where I was to catch my connecting train to Verona), they all took a while to get their bags and I, being the polite person I am, waited for them. As a result I made it to the train exit doors just as they locked.

As fate would have it, I couldn’t catch my train from the next station and my ticket was non-transferrable. Fortunately for the Americans, the station didn’t overly affect their travel plans so they were fine. Serves me right for being polite. Ha! Ha! As the lawyer also pointed out, this was an occasion when I just needed to go with it (I’d mentioned during our earlier conversation that I try to take this approach whenever I travel…ha bloody ha Universe!).

So I had to buy a new ticket (37EU). This time it would take me via Bologna where I would need to change trains to get to Verona. Cue two-hour wait in the train station.

My next train was one of the high-speed deluxe trains and it was a fabulous. Ultra-modern, new and clean. But the trip from Firenze to Bologna is relatively short so I couldn’t enjoy it for long. I did have a great chat to an older Columbian couple sitting across the aisle though. They both had lovely energy and had spent about a month in Italy so far. They were loving every minute of their holiday and recommended I visited the towns of Turino and Lucca.

Unfortunately, the stylish train was 15 minutes late leaving Firenze. The train conductor kindly rang ahead and asked the driver of the connecting train to delay his departure for a minute or two as we would now be arriving precisely when he was due to leave.

Unfortunately, Stefania (another passenger) and I leapt from the Firenze train and sprinted to 2 est platform just in time to see our connection pulling out at the other end.

We then bumped into Rita (another passenger in the same situation) and after perusing the timetable we established that it would be two hours before we could hop the next train to Verona. Fortunately, our tickets would still be valid by then.

We retreated to a bar where Stefania, a civil engineer who also weaves (yes, on a loom to create beautiful rugs and blankets, etc.) and Rita downed an expresso or two in tiny white cups while I indulged in a hot chocolate (not appropriate for mid-afternoon by Italian standards but by this stage I cared nought for that!). Stefania generously shouted the round and then in true Italian style she and Rita smoked up a storm while we chatted about life. Smoking is still de rigueur here whereas it’s increasingly rare back home in Australia. Italians of all ages smoke anywhere, anytime, near children, while pregnant, at dinner. What can you do but accept…when in Italia and all that.

Anyway, we had a wide-ranging conversation, me with my stumbling Italian, Stefania with her good English and Rita with her no English at all – Stefania translated for her at various times.

Eventually the hours passed and we finally boarded the train for the last leg of our journey. Rita disembarked before me – she travels to Firenze once per month (and has done for 17 years) for experimental treatment to prevent her going blind from a rather nasty condition called retinitis pigmentosa. She and three of her sight-impaired friends had just this week decided to write a book about all the ‘train stories’ they have experienced/learned during their monthly trips. Rita uses Google translate extensively and my resounding memory is hearing her say “Okay, Google” as she would speak into her phone and ask for a translation.

I got off at Verona and said goodbye to the fabulous Stefania (we will definitely stay in touch). I made it easily to the Tabacchi to buy my bus ticket and then, with the AirBnB man What’s App’g me instructions and then asking “Where are you?” I boarded the number 11 bus. Following the instructions on the Moovit App I got off at Porta Vescovo and the two transport inspectors on the footpath made room for me as I maneuvered my suitcase and my person out the bus doors. One of them subsequently asked me for my bus ticket.

Over the next five minutes I unsuccessfully searched for that piece of thin card on my person and in my bags to no avail – picture me crouched on the footpath with my belongings strewn around me as the two inspectors (and Lord knows who else) watched on. Eventually, he took pity on me and said don’t worry about. My humiliation as I stuffed my belongings haphazardly back into my bags was complete and it was only the third time that day that I’d felt like crying from tiredness/frustration/overwhelm. Last year I’d had a similar experience on a bus in Ischia so it seems I am a magnet for transport inspectors. Next time I buy a ticket I’ll staple it to my forehead or something.

The AirBnB man was conspicuously absent throughout this incident and when I rang he said he was at the bus stop we’d discussed but could not see me.

I had got off one stop too late – thank you Moovit app.

Olindo eventually found me and with his minuscule English (far less than my Italian skills), he grabbed my suitcase and walked me to the apartment – kindly carrying my rather heavy luggage up a flight of stairs to get there.

He showed me around the apartment (it’s very modern), gave me a map and said he’d What’s App me the details for good places to eat. He also asked if I spoke Spanish (because apparently my Italian sounds like it’s Spanish). I’ve never spoken Spanish in my life. Clearly my accent is deplorable.

When I recounted the day’s debacles to a friend she said, sounds like you’ve been taught a lesson in patience today. She’s probably right. I also learned that the best laid plans can go awry when you’re too polite.

Lucretia Ackfield is a published author, psychic channel and transformational teacher who is currently traveling through one of her favourite countries in search of adventure, inspiration, transformation and space to write.

 

 

Italian dining with a garden hose

Italian dining with a garden hose

As a lover of Italy it pains me to admit that I have two criticisms of this beautiful country: their bathrooms and their treatment of single, female diners.

Anyone who has traveled in Italy will know about their propensity for placing the shower head right next to the toilet. But I don’t mean with a shower curtain or a screen between. No, that would confine the water to one relatively small and localised area near the drain. Far better instead, despite this showering person’s best efforts, to have the water spray all over the walls, floor, toilet and occasionally the bidet as well. My last shower experience had me sopping up water with every available towel in the place as water drifted inexorably off the tiled bathroom ledge and into the bedroom. Containment of water, like the containment of passion, is seemingly not an Italian speciality. For the record, I love that they’re passionate but I don’t love their bathrooms.

Then of course, there’s the single female diner thing.

Now I’m accustomed to traveling solo and surely it cannot in this day and age, be that much of a novelty in this part of the world? But some restaurants and cafes don’t quite meet the customer service standard I’d prefer.

For instance, just because I’m dining alone does not mean I should be given the worst table in the house…like in Roma where, a couple of blocks from Scalina Spagna (the Spanish Steps) I was seated next to the air conditioning vent. Now had it been winter, the rather warm breeze it created would have been lovely. However, in summer (somewhere in the mid-30s) it didn’t help to create the fabulous dining experience I’d been hoping for (if I’d been wearing make-up it would’ve melted and slid off my face onto my pizza).

A few days earlier, I was an early diner in a beautiful spot on the Ischia coast. Only one other table was occupied but I was ‘kindly’ shown to a single-chaired table where my close dinner companion was a bright yellow garden hose (located a mere inch from my left elbow).

When a noise emanated from my throat (something like an incredulous grunt) and this was accompanied with hand gestures that clearly indicated my discontent, the waiter simply moved the chair to the other side of the table. The view of the water was a little better but the hose was still ever-present.

Sigh.

However, despite their lack of comfort with single female diners and occasional flooding incidents in, it must be said, very clean bathrooms, I still love Italy very much

But I don’t want to dine with another garden hose anytime soon.

What to pack for your voyage of discovery

journeySometimes when I meditate I see an old wooden ship, the kind with flapping white sails used to travel the seven seas hundreds of years ago. For me the ship is a symbol of my life, sometimes it disappears for a while on a voyage of discovery, but it always returns full of things that are meant to be mine, things I love, things I need to know and so on. I guess in some ways it is quite magical because it brings me many gifts and insights.

Whenever I see it disappear over the horizon I am little sad because when it is in port I know where I am and the ground beneath my feet feels solid. When it’s on a voyage of discovery I am unsure of myself because it is a time of growth. When you grow you can never be sure where you’ll end up or what will happen next.

Over the years, during these times of growth, I have worked out the types of things I need to take with me. I am after all, frequently on that ship taking a journey of discovery.

A few people I love and care about are starting their own journey of discovery at the moment so I thought I’d share my insights about what they might like to pack for the journey and some other things they may need to know.

Firstly, you must take your faith in you. Yes, I meant to type that. You must have faith in yourself and know that although your journey may be challenging, uncomfortable and yes, painful, you are strong enough to make it through. You should also remember there are people who have faith that you can do it; people like me. I have faith in you.

Secondly, you must ask for help when you need it. Sometimes, it will feel like you’re in a big ocean and there’s no one there to call on when you don’t know what to do or how to keep going. In those moments, ask the Universe to send you help and know that it will arrive. It may be a person, an idea or maybe just a life-jacket thrown your way, but it will come if you ask for it.

Thirdly, know that you are loved. Sometimes you are going to feel so alone on your journey and feel like no one cares. But never forget that even if you can’t take the ones you love on the ship with you, they will still be there. Their love for you will still be with you. It doesn’t go away just because you’re gone for a while or you go in a different direction. And even after the people you love pass away, they are still with you too. Love continues; that’s just what real love does.

Fourthly, know that you have the right to take your journey. So often we set sail feeling guilty because other people want us to stay as we’ve always been and do what we’ve always done. And honestly, you will probably find it hard to shed those old ways and habits. They will be like an anchor dragging on the bottom of the seabed; you will feel safe but stuck. Your progress will be intermittent and inconsistent.

Sooner or later you will have to choose to wind that anchor in, hoist your sails and leap through the waves ahead. But until then you will struggle, make some choices that aren’t great, and be kind of miserable a lot of the time. Humans are great at getting in their own way like that. But eventually, you will realise that you are worthy and you have a right to grow, explore and become the person you were born to be. And in that moment your journey will really begin because you will realise what is possible. You will realise that you are the captain of your own ship and can go wherever you choose, be whoever you want to be.

You will have freedom from all that was and the understanding that you can be all you wish to be.

I wish you wonderful things for your journey and a safe return to port when you are ready.

Is it time for an adventure?

AdventureThis morning I woke early after limited sleep to see my cousin/housemate off. He’s going on a two-week adventure and, although I could have slept through his departure, I preferred to get up and say goodbye.

B* is travelling to Papua New Guinea on a boys-own trip that will involve surfing, sand, fishing and no doubt some significant alcohol consumption.

And you should’ve seen his face as he rushed around the house gathering his things as the taxi waited outside.

He was grinning from ear to ear. The excitement was palpable and evident in every part of his body.

He was going on an adventure.

I loved seeing that look on B’s face. And I’m sure he will have an absolutely awesome time. Part of me was envious that I wasn’t going too – not that I’m a surfer by any means.

But it was the scent of adventure and travel that called me – the opportunity to explore the worlds of other cultures and above all, find my own way to a land that lies beyond the horizon. The chance to have an adventure lies tantalisingly in the distance.

And this year I’m going to do it.

I’m not sure how I’m going to get there, how I’ll pay for it, or where I’ll stay. But this year I will travel again. And just like all those times before, the experience will open my soul and expand my universe.

It’s time for some new adventures and today, I’m officially inviting them in.

In the meantime, I shall dream of places yet unseen and mysteries yet to unfold.

 

 

 

 

 

Is it your year to take flight?

Since late last year I have thought of 2014 as ‘flight year’. I can’t tell you why exactly, but I’ve just felt this is the year so many of us will ‘take-off’ in our lives.

If 2013 was a year to purge ourselves of the old, 2014 is the year to let go of the last vestiges of our old luggage and take to the skies. It is our year to fly.

In the last few days it’s become even more clear to me that the Flight Year is indeed happening for many people I know. Their lives are taking unexpected turns and whereas previously they might have known exactly where they were going, this time the future is in many ways the great unknown.

They have not been passive participants in creating these changes in their lives. Instead they have decided to take a chance and trust themselves. This in itself has brought magical changes and opportunities for them.

One dear friend has recently, finally, begun to value herself and her business rather that relying so much on the approval of others. She’s seen opportunities and instead of saying, ‘I can’t do that’ she decided to say ‘Yes, I’m going to give it a shot.’ The financial and career opportunities are now pouring in and taking her in new and exciting directions she never dreamed were possible.

Another friend is leaving the city to return home, save money and then head overseas for as yet unplanned adventures. She’s always wanted to work overseas but was never quite sure how to make it happen. Then a change in her workplace made her realise she could do it. Now was the time. She decided to move back home and suddenly lucrative work opportunities in her home town were knocking on her door. She asked for what she wanted and has definitely received the financial assistance she needs. Next year she will be on a plane to Europe and her adventure will really begin.

The key to my friends beginning their Flight Year was a clear decision to take a chance and be open to change and opportunity. Once they did this, the Universe did the rest. An equally conscious decision to believe in themselves and let go of behaviour that wasn’t serving them anymore, also helped.

I have other friends who are about to begin their Flight Year. They are teetering on the edge of their old life, peering into the distance and trying to see what’s up ahead. And that is what’s holding them back. They must each make a conscious decision to leave behind the old before they can fully step into the new. They must decide to finish that project, relationship, job or business and walk away without having a clear or exact vision of what lays ahead. They must choose to take a chance on themselves and step into the unknown.

Once this happens the Universe will step in to assist (as it always does) and their next real adventure will begin. They may find themselves arriving at unexpected destinations they would never have planned. But it is through that journey they will still, most definitely, end up precisely where they are supposed to be.

So if you find yourself hesitating, remember that to realise your potential you must first trust in yourself. And secondly, you must trust that the Universe is looking after you and will help you to see the way ahead. You must also be prepared to let go of those parts of your life that are no longer right for you. Only after all this, can you begin your Flight Year.