by Lucky Lucy | Aug 20, 2015 | self belief, self discovery, Self esteem, Sense of self |
The intersection outside my university was almost at a standstill this morning but it wasn’t due to the usual peak hour traffic. Instead, at around 7.53am, the cars were slowing to avoid an intrepid bush turkey who’d decided to take that moment to dash across George Street at great personal peril.
The turkey seemed to know where he was heading, kind of, but his route was more than a little random. He set off at rapid sprint from the curb before doubling back, changing direction, stopping, starting, swerving and seeming to change his mind, before moving forward again. He did this several times while the surrounding drivers attempted to avoid turkey carnage and the rest of us watched on, shaking our heads and yes, laughing at his craziness.
That turkey didn’t seem to know what the heck he was doing.
Once he finally made his way to the opposite footpath, he ran headlong into the fence surrounding the botanical gardens (which I presume was his ultimate destination), before doubling back, running a little to the right then the left, then back again before setting off towards the entrance a few metres down. As I passed by, he still hadn’t quite made it and I heard one of the nearby students laughingly say, ‘Those turkeys are soooo stupid.’
The turkey could have taken a direct route across the road. He could’ve waited for the traffic lights and been carried along with the tide of humanity before taking a sharp left turn into the gardens and relative safety. But he didn’t. Instead he didn’t seem to know where he was going. He prevaricated, changed his mind, stopped, started and simply went all over the place in a way that looked quite insane to passersby. His route did not make any sense, and seemed unnecessarily dangerous and time-consuming.
As I walked on to my first class, I laughed a little more to myself when I realised I have also acted like that turkey on a number of occasions. There have been more than a few times in my life when, with a lack of self-belief and no clear direction, I have hurried this way and that in a way that probably seemed mad to the people watching. I would’ve had a goal in mind but I didn’t have a map or a plan on how to get there so I took the most confused road on the way. Most of the time, I eventually got where I wanted to go, but it was not the most seamless or enjoyable journey.
I’ve been observing a friend of mine doing something similar lately and have been shaking my head and thinking, ‘Why doesn’t X just go straight ahead? Can’t they see the signs?’ [It’s funny how life reflects parts of yourself back to you, isn’t it?]
When we don’t have strong self-belief we take longer to get where we want to go because we undermine our choices along the way. We don’t think we deserve that thing we really want so we question ourselves, sometimes seek the conflicting advice of others (which confuses us even more), think we can’t make it, and so on. It makes our journey very challenging, sometimes painful and, to an outsider, we can look a bit like the bush turkey– indecisive, a bit out of control and clueless.
But, here’s what I’ve worked out. Sometimes we just need to believe we deserve what we want, and then we have to go for it. We need to keep that goal clear in our minds and give it everything we’ve got. Backing yourself in this way takes courage but we’ve all got that inside us (even if you’ve buried it for years and years, you can still dig it out if you’re determined). Once you believe you deserve something, a lot of the angst disappears. You will of course have moments of doubt on the road but they won’t derail you and you’ll be less likely to put yourself in dangerous (mental or emotional) situations because you will be clear on what is best for you. Your progress will be a lot less traumatic as a result.
I think the turkey this morning had his goal in mind but his internal monologue was probably something like this…
‘There it is, that’s where I want to go. But, hang on, I can’t. There’s too much in the way.
‘Ooops, sorry, didn’t mean to get in your way. Sorry to inconvenience you. Yes, I know you really are more important than me. Sorry. Maybe I should go back? Yes, you’re probably right. Sorry. I should just go back where I was.
‘But hang on, there it is. I can see the gate. No. I can’t. I don’t really deserve to be there. But I want it. But…no.
‘Hang on. There’s a gap there. Can I get through? Oops, sorry. They’re laughing at me. I’m such an idiot. Why didn’t I get up earlier when there were less people to see me being such a loser…’
Does any of that sound familiar?
Imagine instead, self-talk that went something like this…
‘Okay. I can see where I want to go and I know I deserve it. I know I’m going to make some mistakes on the way, but that’s okay because I’m human and I’m learning.
‘Now, what’s the best way to get there. Mmm. Okay, don’t panic. I got this. Just need to stay calm. Oops, must remember to wait for the green pedestrian light next time, lesson learned. Time to take a breath over here in this safe spot.
‘Hang on, excuse me, you seem to know where you’re going, can I walk along here with you? Thanks. By the way, can you tell me the best way to get to the gate? Oh, this way? Right. Thanks, have a nice day.’
So, my point is this. Sometimes when we’re working things out, when we doubt ourselves and so on, we can look a bit like a bush turkey. And that’s okay. But maybe next time you could be a little kinder to yourself and use positive self-talk instead of the negative kind to help on your journey.
And the next time you see someone ‘doing a bush turkey’ maybe you could cheer them on from the footpath for at least giving it a shot, and maybe give them some helpful directions (or a handful of birdseed).
by Lucky Lucy | Jul 27, 2015 | compassion, Emotional, Self esteem |
We all have those things in our past, those moments that go some way towards defining who we are and where we believe we fit in the world. They can be high points or low ones. Momentous occasions where the world felt like our oyster, or times when it felt like we would never be able to raise our head from the ground again.
Often, just when we think we’ve left those more difficult and challenging moments behind, they rear up before us. And in that moment we can feel like we’re right back where we started, struggling, a little lost and fearful of repeating that pattern from the past.
At times like these we can spiral, down into the depths of that place from where we came. Those attachments to the story of our past can be hard to break.
I have experienced this myself and it’s no fun. But in these moments, once I take a breath or two and bring myself back to the present, I remind myself of the following.
1. The past happened but it’s done. And I am different and stronger because it happened and I lived through it.
2. I will only repeat the patterns of the past if I don’t learn the lessons from the past. So I need to be honest with myself about why and how things happened and what my role was in that process. I am after all, not a victim of circumstance. I am not a passive participant in my own life.
3. Wallowing is fine. Sometimes it is even necessary to fully experience and ‘sit in’ the memory or situation and learn from it. But sooner or later I will need to get up, wash myself off and keep going. That part is definitely up to me. There is no ‘rescue’ from myself.
4. Sometimes the past stalks you just to let you know how far you’ve come. It’s a reminder of what you’ve learned and a sign the pattern no longer exists. It is simply a remnant from an older time. It is in those moments, when I finally realise the pattern is done, that I step into the light letting my past stalk by and disappear into the shadows behind me.
by Lucky Lucy | Jun 9, 2015 | Fear, self development, Self esteem, Sense of self |
Have you ever felt like you spend more time worrying about what other people think, say and do than what’s in your own heart? You might have brief glimpses of inspiration about what’s in you but it’s rapidly taken over by your fears of what other people might think. Then you duck back into your mainstream, accepted box, and keep doing what you were doing before. The only evidence of anything awry will be the smallest of ripples in your psyche, but they’re soon squashed and you’re right back where you started.
Sound familiar?
Some of us spend a lot of time worrying about what other people will think of our actions. And I don’t use the word ‘spend’ accidentally because, when you do this repeatedly, you are spending your energy and it’s not coming back to you. It’s not serving you in any way. It’s like you’ve gone to the deli counter, handed over your money and received nothing in return. So you wait and wait until eventually they turn out the lights and you’re left…alone.
This keeps you smaller than you are.
How often have you heard yourself say, ‘Oh, I’m happy to work in the background’ while a voice whispers deep inside you, ‘Maybe I could be good at the front but people might laugh at me.’
Or have you said, ‘Oh thanks, but I’m not really good at X’ when someone gives you a compliment – even when you long to claim your skills as being unique to you (which they are, by the way).
A few years ago, I was talking to a client about a professional activity they needed assistance with. ‘Oh, I can do that for you,’ I said. ‘I’m really good at that stuff.’
They looked at me a little askance and said, ‘You really shouldn’t say that, you know. People might think you’re a bit… [‘up yourself]’
So there I was, being open about one of my proven skill strengths and was being told to basically tone it down because of what other people might think.
Well, I’m here to tell you…life’s too short for that crap.
I don’t spend my time going around telling people how fabulous I am. But, if I know I have a strength in a particular area, why should I hide that or tone it down for the consumption of others?
Yet, we’ve all done it. And some of us do it more than others.
My proposition is, what would happen if you started to claim those things you are good at? What if you began taking ownership of your unique gifts and stopped being afraid to use them?
What would your life look like then?
I’m not saying people won’t judge you or try to pull you down. Some people probably will.
But you know, it’s not about what other people think. You are unique and you’re not here on this planet, living this human experience, to make yourself small.
You don’t have to overpower everyone in sight but you can definitely start claiming your place where you truly want to be. If you want to try for that job that will make you happy but doesn’t conform to the expectations of others – go for it!
The next time someone asks for help with a task you’ve been longing to try but have been too afraid to put your hand up for, put your hand up and say, ‘I’d love to give that a crack!’
Stop hiding your light. You’re amazing and you have amazing things to offer. So start. And eventually you’ll find you won’t be spending your energy in the wrong place anymore. You won’t be standing at the deli counter empty-handed either. Instead you’ll be at the local markets buying fresh produce that feeds your soul.
Your energy will be directed towards making yourself feel good and living your light, rather than worrying about what other people think.
And that will be the most amazing gift of all – for you.
by Lucky Lucy | May 15, 2015 | Emotional, self development, self discovery, Self esteem, Sense of self |
When are you going to realise there is absolutely nothing wrong with you? You are perfect just the way you are, and all those imperfections and faults you see when you look in the mirror are part of being human.
Yes, in this lifetime you will be tested and frequently asked by the Universe to be a better version of yourself. You will be asked to give more than you have ever given. You will be asked to let go of the way things used to be and you will resist it. That is life.
You will be asked to dig deep. To plunge into the depths of your soul and discover that which is hidden from the rest of the world – your shadows and the gifts that are unique to you.
Sometimes you will run and hide. You may run for months, years, decades. You will seek to flee from the very things your soul desires – love, purpose, joy. You may instead explore the darkest parts of yourself and that too is how it should be. For after all you are human, and here to learn all there is to know about yourself too.
But sooner or later, for most of us I hope it is sooner, you will realise you are perfect just the way you are. You will have faith in your ability to bring light into the world; faith in your ability to give love from the deepest parts of you.
Your hidden frustrations and anger will dissipate because you will stop being frustrated and angry with yourself. You will know that love is offered to you in a hundred ways every day. You just need to open your heart to receive it.
And yes, you will keep improving and making mistakes every day until you pass over into the next world.
But you will have peace in this lifetime because you’ll know there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And you will know that the people who love you see that too.
by Lucky Lucy | Apr 26, 2015 | Emotional, Fear, Instincts, Intuition, Life, Personal power, self discovery, Self esteem, Sense of self |
It’s been an interesting couple of days for me. As a psychic I often have spiritual growth spurts when new information drops in whether I like it or not. Sometimes this is challenging because it makes me see things a different way. My boundaries are pushed and the Universe asks me to go further into my awareness and expand myself and my capacity. Quite frankly, it can turn my world upside down and inside out as realisations challenge everything that has gone before.
The last few days have been like that. In one instance, I walked past someone and, although I know them well and felt their energy in every part of me, my eyes didn’t recognise them because I saw only the mask they were showing the rest of the world. I knew the person underneath but I didn’t recognise the person they were showing to the outside world.
That was a shock for me, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. When we try to play a role we believe is expected of us, we all put on a mask. It’s how we cope. ‘Maybe if I act like everything is okay and act like this role fits me, it will,’ we think.
But it doesn’t work.
Most people will be taken in by the mask because we can be very convincing. We will even convince ourselves that it fits for a while. But eventually our mask will slip, usually when we find ourselves with time on our hands and no one is around to distract us, and that’s when the realisations really start. Our mask falls to the floor and we realise we can’t and don’t want to play that role anymore. We don’t want to be that person we’re ‘supposed’ to be. We have to look at ourselves, go deep and face the truth within.
We want something different. We want to be the person we are on the inside. And often that person, our authentic self, is not the person we’ve been raised to be or who our culture expects us to be.
Some of us, maybe even you, will still try to wear the mask. And you may succeed for a while. But it will never really fit properly because the Universe will be asking you to go in another direction. It’s asking you to follow your heart and be who you truly are. And it’s asking you to listen to your inner voice to help you get where you need to be.
I know the person I saw the other day will have to remove their mask eventually and their outside will match their inside again. I’m looking forward to that day because that person on the inside is amazing.
In the meantime I know I can help other people who have already felt their mask slip.
I’m running a course that will help them find their way back to their authentic selves and empower them to chart their own path forward in a way that fits them.
If you’d like to know more and it feels right for you, I’d encourage you to visit the information on this website about my Nights for Spiritual Beginners – Introductory Course (see http://wp.me/Pirqj-g1) which begins this Wednesday in Brisbane. I’d love to see you there.
by Lucky Lucy | Feb 9, 2015 | Emotional, Fear, Life, Personal power, Self esteem, Sense of self |
A good friend said yesterday that she wanted to move to another city. ‘At least I’d be able to get away from X,’ she reasoned.
I shook my head and said, ‘But you know if you try to run away from yourself, you’ll only run into yourself.’
She looked at me like I was mad and said, ‘That makes no sense.’
But I have to tell you it’s the truth.
When things are too real, too painful or just too uncomfortable, we often try to run away. But what we don’t realise is those situations are part of ourselves. And you can’t run from who you are because it’s like you’re running away from you. You can jump on a plane and leave the country but your problem, issue or pain will still be with you. You might leave the ‘person’ you hold responsible behind, but if you don’t deal with the issue it will come back to haunt you later in another way.
Some of us will even try to hide from things we desperately want but don’t believe we deserve or could ever have. You might stay in a nice, dependable and well-paid job when you really want to do something that pays less but will make you happy.
Or consider the person who desperately wants to be loved but runs away from it because the thought of letting someone see all of them, with all their flaws and darkness, is terrifying. So instead they choose relationships that will never run too deep and choose to keep hiding.
We can become very good at pushing away the things we want.
It happens every day and I am no exception. I have tried to hide from myself many times.
It takes courage to be honest with yourself and face your demons. The thought of picking away the scab to see what’s beneath can be terrifying. What if we don’t like the person we find? What if we’re not strong enough?
Some people will never ‘go there’. They will hide for a lifetime because it’s easier.
And they’re right. It is easier.
But if you hide from who you are and what you honestly want, you will never be truly happy. You are a wonderful spiritual being living a human existence. That means you are here to learn lessons and expand your soul. Sure that expansion means facing pain and discomfort but the process also brings boundless joy, love and understanding.
Imagine if you could extend that love and understanding to yourself.
The intersection outside my university was almost at a standstill this morning but it wasn’t due to the usual peak hour traffic. Instead, at around 7.53am, the cars were slowing to avoid an intrepid bush turkey who’d decided to take that moment to dash across George Street at great personal peril.
