Have you ever felt like you spend more time worrying about what other people think, say and do than what’s in your own heart? You might have brief glimpses of inspiration about what’s in you but it’s rapidly taken over by your fears of what other people might think. Then you duck back into your mainstream, accepted box, and keep doing what you were doing before. The only evidence of anything awry will be the smallest of ripples in your psyche, but they’re soon squashed and you’re right back where you started.
Sound familiar?
Some of us spend a lot of time worrying about what other people will think of our actions. And I don’t use the word ‘spend’ accidentally because, when you do this repeatedly, you are spending your energy and it’s not coming back to you. It’s not serving you in any way. It’s like you’ve gone to the deli counter, handed over your money and received nothing in return. So you wait and wait until eventually they turn out the lights and you’re left…alone.
This keeps you smaller than you are.
How often have you heard yourself say, ‘Oh, I’m happy to work in the background’ while a voice whispers deep inside you, ‘Maybe I could be good at the front but people might laugh at me.’
Or have you said, ‘Oh thanks, but I’m not really good at X’ when someone gives you a compliment – even when you long to claim your skills as being unique to you (which they are, by the way).
A few years ago, I was talking to a client about a professional activity they needed assistance with. ‘Oh, I can do that for you,’ I said. ‘I’m really good at that stuff.’
They looked at me a little askance and said, ‘You really shouldn’t say that, you know. People might think you’re a bit… [‘up yourself]’
So there I was, being open about one of my proven skill strengths and was being told to basically tone it down because of what other people might think.
Well, I’m here to tell you…life’s too short for that crap.
I don’t spend my time going around telling people how fabulous I am. But, if I know I have a strength in a particular area, why should I hide that or tone it down for the consumption of others?
Yet, we’ve all done it. And some of us do it more than others.
My proposition is, what would happen if you started to claim those things you are good at? What if you began taking ownership of your unique gifts and stopped being afraid to use them?
What would your life look like then?
I’m not saying people won’t judge you or try to pull you down. Some people probably will.
But you know, it’s not about what other people think. You are unique and you’re not here on this planet, living this human experience, to make yourself small.
You don’t have to overpower everyone in sight but you can definitely start claiming your place where you truly want to be. If you want to try for that job that will make you happy but doesn’t conform to the expectations of others – go for it!
The next time someone asks for help with a task you’ve been longing to try but have been too afraid to put your hand up for, put your hand up and say, ‘I’d love to give that a crack!’
Stop hiding your light. You’re amazing and you have amazing things to offer. So start. And eventually you’ll find you won’t be spending your energy in the wrong place anymore. You won’t be standing at the deli counter empty-handed either. Instead you’ll be at the local markets buying fresh produce that feeds your soul.
Your energy will be directed towards making yourself feel good and living your light, rather than worrying about what other people think.
And that will be the most amazing gift of all – for you.