Loss, change and golden starlight

by Lucretia | Aug 4, 2018 | compassion, create your life, self belief, self development, self discovery, Self esteem, Sense of self | 0 comments

There is a dim glow of golden starlight at my desk tonight. I know I can write anywhere but to have stars surrounding me is a special treat and it makes my office feel a little magical.

I can see a faint pale smudge through the curtains and when I pull them back, the moon sneaks through; a pale half crescent sideways.

I’ve been thinking about discomfort and new beginnings today, and when I bought the strings of stars from this morning, my goal was to help create a new beginning for myself and a new environment to work in.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve definitely had my share of discomfort and happenings that I did not seek and were quite frankly, unwanted. More than once I’ve felt like I’ve entered the swinging doors of a saloon, got caught in a gunfight and then been ejected unceremoniously out the doors on the other side of the bar where I’ve fallen face first into the muddy street.

My ego has been bruised, my self-confidence tested, and the Universe has called on me to let go of places where I felt comfortable, people I cared about and a pet I adored. And all this within a matter of weeks with losses and disappointments sometimes occurring within days of each other.

It’s been a trying time, to say the least.

I’ve wondered if there has been an energetic clearing happening as I’ve watched friends go through their own rather dramatic challenges and changes. It’s almost like the Universe has decided, “Nope you’re in the wrong place and if you’re not going to move then I will force you to shift.” Other people have jumped first when they’ve seen the Universal writing on the wall or faced harsh truths they have been avoiding before finally taken some action.

Whatever the Universe’s method, many now find themselves in places they didn’t plan to be in 2018.

Of course, it is our mind’s often obsessive need to control our journey and then pick the destination that makes these changes to our planned trajectory even more difficult. And when you add in your thwarted heart’s desires, the discomfort level increases and sometimes makes things almost unbearable.

I believe that human beings are genetically programmed to resist change, even when the outcome will be beneficial for us. I have no scientific evidence to back this up. However, when I look around, it seems that so many of us would rather stay in terribly uncomfortable, unsatisfying and sometimes downright unhappy situations and relationships simply because the alternative of disrupting the status quo and leaving our known ‘comfort zone’ is just too disturbing.

We humans are a little crazy that way.

However, when we resist for too long, the Universe will inevitably step in and kick our backsides until we have no choice but to move, let go or to step forward. She ultimately will make our comfort zone simply too uncomfortable, or take the decisions completely out of our hands.

And that is when the magic begins, whether we like it or not, because when these dramatic changes occur, they’re designed to get us back on track, to shake us up and remind us about what’s really important. If we’re wise, we’ll be honest with ourselves and recognise the changes for what they are – our chance to expand, grow and be more in alignment.

I’ve found myself changing roles twice in a short period of time in a way I never expected (or particularly enjoyed). But the place I’ve ended up is perfect for me and I have the time and space to write more – which is one of the most important things to me right now. I’ve also been reminded of a valuable lesson – that some people will never accept your help, even if they need it desperately. So it is better to help those who welcome it and leave others to do as they will – even if you know their journey is going to be more difficult as a result.

I’ve also been reminded that kindness and giving without expectation is a divine part of being human. When I my darling cat Mirabel took a rapid turn for the worse a few weeks ago, I sat with her in the surgery on a Sunday night, holding her in my arms as tears streamed down my cheeks. I knew it was her time to pass over and, although the kind vet (her own eyes filling with tears on my behalf) came to check on me occasionally, I was alone and emotionally torn apart.

Later, as I finally left with an empty cat carrier, I saw a woman sitting on the concrete near my car. I’d heard her desperate cries through the walls earlier when she’d brought in her Mum’s dog.

I put the lonely carrier into the front seat  then walked back, dropped to my knees on the beside the woman and took her into my arms. We then cried together for a while, two strangers, on the ground, in the cold late night air. I cried many more tears when I got home (and since then too) but offering her that comfort, and receiving it in return, helped me to feel a little less alone in my grief.

I must confess that Mirabel’s passing seemed an unnecessarily cruel blow coming just days after the very careful and deliberate withdrawal of someone important from my life. Although I understood rationally why things had happened, the Universe’s timing didn’t really seem to be in my best interests. But I guess it’s a sign of my resilience that I was able to get up for work then hold it together all day before sobbing my way home in the car as I thought of the cat-free zone that waited for me at the end of the trip.

You might wonder how I could feel that any of this was being done ‘for me’ by the Universe. I mean really, I have to say nothing felt particularly great at the time. Instead I felt like I was taking one blow after another.

But now the worst has past, I can see that although there has been pain and sadness, there have also been positive changes and shifts that occurred without me even realising it. Things are moving in the right direction and I know I’m on the right track.

Jobs will come and go, people will leave and return, and sometimes we will be asked to let go of the people, pets and hopes we hold close to our hearts.

But life is a fluid process and we always end up where we’re supposed to be, even if we would prefer a different outcome. My current place is under the stars with the haunting cry of a curlew in the distance, and in this moment, I feel peace.

I wish the same for you.

Lucretia is an author, psychic channel and transformational teacher. Her first book The Men I’ve Almost Dated is available through all good online bookstores. Lucretia also delivers mentoring programs to help intuitives, empaths and psychics learn how to manage their gifts and connect to their Soul’s Purpose.