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Some relationships are so strong your Soul can never forget them

Some relationships are so strong your Soul can never forget them

“Maybe some relationships are so strong your Soul can never forget them.” I wish I could claim these words as my own but they are not. They belong to my wonderful friend @Shannynsteel and were uttered this morning while we walked through a nearby forest.

We were talking about love and soul connections and I was musing on the topic of past life hangovers – this is how I describe instances when we reconnect with someone strongly in this lifetime and feel it deeply because we have done so in previous lifetimes as well.

This has certainly happened to me a lot and to be honest, it often creates far more drama, sadness and confusion than a romantic heart might want to believe.

If you haven’t experienced these types of connections then I don’t necessarily recommend them unless you are prepared to pass through a ring of emotional fire and explore parts of your psyche that will make no logical sense at all.

Metaphysicians such as Carolyn Myss talk of souls drinking from a river of forgetfulness (or words to that effect) before they return for their next life in human form. Firstly, they make agreements with other souls about what they will help each other learn, then they drink to forget those agreements and finally they are born here. This seems a very sensible and wise approach considering the many lives we have traversed before.

But what happens when you’re someone like me who has past life hangovers? Did I not drink enough from the river? Or is it part of my lesson to sometimes straddle the divide between this and previous lives?

I’m still wrangling with these questions.

Past life hangovers have manifested in my intimate relationships far more often than I would like.

While I feel an incredible intensity and depth with these men, I am usually unaware of the past life connection while I’m involved with them. But hindsight inevitably directs a blazing light on the truth of it all.

In one relationship, I found myself saying a particular phrase of love to the man and placing my hand directly in the middle of his chest while I said it. It was curious because the words and the way they were spoken were not my usual way of expressing myself. As that relationship crumbled to the ground, I had a vision of him and I in medieval times and saw myself place my hand in the middle of his chest, just like I had done only days before. He and I had done this dance more than once in other lives.

In another connection (this time with a man much younger than me), we were powerfully drawn to each other but it caused us both feelings of confusion. It was never consummated although I suspect we both thought about taking it further. Much later, I realised that while we had been having one of our more volatile conversations, I had looked at his face and seen a much older man – not the young man he currently is.  

In another situation, I found myself remembering a man I had loved very deeply. Every time I thought of him, I saw his big blue eyes looking straight at me. When we reconnected much later, I realised his eyes were another colour entirely and it felt, for the first time, like I was seeing the man fully in this lifetime, rather than the one I had known in a previous life.

Past life hangovers had wreaked chaos in my personal life. Clearly my soul recognises them and they recognise me – that is why we are drawn together. But then it disintegrates into a mess because our souls want to stay connected but our paths are to be separate this time around.

I am getting better at spotting these patterns earlier these days but it has certainly been a strong influence in my love life over the years.

Did I not drink enough at the river of forgetfulness or is it just that some relationships are so strong you can never forget them?

Perhaps I will never know.  

Souls have free will as well as lessons to be learned

Souls have free will as well as lessons to be learned

A while ago, someone said I was brave to go my own way and not have children when society puts so much pressure on women to do so. She met her comment sincerely but I soon disabused her of the notion that I had made my decision as a form of conscious rebellion against the establishment.

I am a feminist certainly and proud that I don’t fit into the traditional female mode. But I did want children once.

I was married to a man in my 20s but I never wanted them with him.

Then in my 30s I found myself single by choice and occasionally yes, I did think about it but not in any way that I was willing to take concerted action on.

A couple of months shy of my 42nd birthday, I met a man I truly thought was the one – the one for me. I fell completely in love. He was younger and it soon became clear that not having children was a deal breaker for him. He wanted them but at that point in the relationship, I wasn’t sure.

We took two weeks apart for me to work things out. He didn’t want either of us to see anyone else during that time. He said he loved me. He said he was devastated and didn’t know what to do.

I saw a powerful energy healer during that break and through that work I quickly realised I wanted children. I wanted them very much and I wanted them with the man I loved.

Imagine my surprise when I conveyed this news to him and he didn’t believe me. He knew me to be a woman who didn’t lie and yet, he said he couldn’t believe it. He said, “Even if you mean it now, how do I know you won’t change your mind later.”

He ended it and I never saw him again.

He never acknowledged me again. It was as if I no longer breathed. Perhaps I had never really existed at all for him. He certainly found it very easy to deny any love he had felt for me.

I fell into an abyss of grief that took years to recover from. I was suicidal at one point with feelings of loss so deep I thought there was no bottom to the well I was drowning in. I just kept sinking.

Eventually, I did float to the surface and find my feet in the shallows again. But by then it was too late for children. My fertility ship had already drawn anchor and wind was filling its sails. I wasn’t in a position to do it alone financially and I didn’t want to do it without the one I loved anyway. So that was that.

Later I asked a powerful psychic why the Universe would treat me so cruelly. Why would she finally give me the understanding I wanted children of my own at such an age only to rip that possibility from my hands.

She said I had needed the healing to unleash my creativity – a woman’s creativity is born from her womb and the energy healing I’d done had cleared the blockages. I could not do what I’m here to do, create what I am here to create, write my books and so on, without that shift occurring.

I don’t mind telling you, the whole thing seemed very cruel indeed. And I was not gracefully accepting in the face of it. I raged at the light.

But the creativity surely did flow more strongly after that. I wrote extensively about the relationship and break-up in prose before being called back to write it in poetry, of all things. More than 230 poems resulted, all written within about a year. I was on the edge of publishing that work when Corona hit. The Universe has her own timing in mind again it seems.

Someone asked the other day how I get along with my Spirit Guides. The truth is, I’ve had a troubled relationship with them at times. They guided me back to that man twice when I thought about leaving, before I got in too deep emotionally. But they urged me to return. I know now he and I had unfinished business from several past lives and the unleashing of my creativity was all part of the plan in this one.

In my darker moments at the time I wasn’t always grateful for that.

Our guides are here to look after our best interests and help us to learn what our Souls are here to learn. Through that relationship I learned I was clairaudient, I learned I could remotely view someone without even trying. I learned there is no stronger psychic connection than between two people who are bound through the heart. I learned I have the ability to see past lives and see those same patterns repeating in this one.

I learned that Souls have free will as well as lessons to be learned. So you can only plot your way forward with the knowledge you have in this moment until something or someone chooses something different.

None of it makes sense and yet it also makes perfect sense too.

As a psychic channel I feel things deeply and that isn’t always easy. I also see a lot more than sometimes others would like because I can’t simply turn away from a Soul’s truth when I see it in front of me. This makes it difficult for people to be around me if they wish to hide from themselves.

When I help people by using my gifts whether it’s a friend struggling with a problem or a client struggling with direction, I always come back to one inescapable thing – what does their Soul want to do? What is their truth? And then how can we peel back all the stories and energetic blocks that get in the way of it.

It’s powerful work and people need to be ready for it. But, oh, when they are, that is when the magic happens because anything is possible.

In past lives I have been burned at the stake, pursued, murdered and lived in fear of my gifts. In this lifetime, I have walked through metaphorical fires many times when it comes to the truth and my psychic gifts.

Nothing happens by mistake. There are no coincidences and it was no coincidence that I met that man all those years ago. It was no accident that he broke me in fundamental ways so I could rebuild myself in a different form.

It was no mistake that my creativity has flourished since.

Whatever challenge you’re facing right now, it is not a mistake. It is part of your lesson. A lesson your Soul signed up for.

If you need help to navigate your way forward, get in touch. You don’t have to do it alone, I’ve been there and I know the road out.

Intuition: Is the price too high?

Intuition: Is the price too high?

I’ve had a lot of people give me the message that using their intuition costs them too much and they are unwilling to pay the price. While their actual words may have varied over the years, the message has been the same:

  • When I use it, I upset people [I would rather they upset me. I don’t want to upset anyone]
  • I don’t trust it but I trust my brain so I weigh everything up in my head first before making a decision [even though I’m experiencing anxiety every day, constantly feel like I’m in the wrong place and it eventually blows up in my face when I don’t trust it]
  • I think it might be my fear talking [so I ignore it)
  • It’s telling me I have to do something else but I don’t know how to so… [I’m going to keep doing what I’ve always done]
  • I “know” I need to leave/change but before I do that I think I have to do X first [finds reasons to not to listen to themselves]
  • I want X but maybe some people never get what they want because… [if I did what I want I would have to change my life/upset someone/stop doing destructive behaviours]
  • I’ve had this idea to do something but I don’t think I’m good enough so… [I’m going back to doing what I’ve always done and not chase my dream]
  • I feel like something isn’t right with him but everyone else thinks he’s great so… [gets screwed over by a colleague at work]
  • I “know” he’s not right for me but I’m going to make it work because security/don’t want to be alone/kids [ends up in unhappy and destructive relationship]
  • My parents/colleagues/friends think that’s all just “woo woo” [and I don’t want to stand out because I don’t want to be rejected…but I’m probably never going to be happy either]
  • I feel like doing this thing is right for me but X thinks something else and they are a lot more sensible than me so… [continues to believe that their own knowing can’t be trusted and isn’t as valuable as someone else’s opinion”.

Have you found yourself thinking or saying these words over the years? You are not alone because a lot of people do the same. But, just like you, they’re not 100 percent happy with where they’re at in life because they’re not trusting themselves and listening to their intuition. Because the true “cost” of listening to your intuition is letting go of what your mind and sometimes other people think should happen and instead trusting that your life is going to be far more expansive and yes, unpredictable that you could ever imagine.

Yes, you will probably have to change things and make decisions that may upset the status quo occasionally. Yes, you will have to learn how to trust yourself implicitly and be prepared to take risks. And yes, you will have to sacrifice the uncomfortably comfortable life you may have built for yourself where your mind feels like it can relax because it has a pretty good idea about what comes next (even if your heart feels unfulfilled/miserable).

So yes, there will be a price to pay if you start tuning in, listening to and then taking action when your intuition calls you forward.

But I believe the price will be much higher if you don’t use it. Don’t you?

If you’re ready to learn how to tune in confidently and begin taking positive action that moves you forward so you can live your Soul’s Mission (i.e. do those things you were born to do) then the doors for Nights for Spiritual Beginners are open for you. The next program starts in February and there is an EARLY BIRD SPECIAL (finishes on 30 January) with your name on it.

It’s for women who are ready to create change and serve humanity; women who are ready to passionately create the life they love and blaze a trail by doing things differently and showing others how it’s done? Are you one of those women? The choice is yours. Email lucretia@lucretiaswords.com to book your place.

Fear of Yourself is the Worst

Fear of Yourself is the Worst

I’ve been coming up against fear lately. I’m not talking about feeling a little anxious or concerned. I’m actually talking about pure terror and it’s not for a reason that may make sense to you.

You see, I’m not usually a fearful person. Many people who know me well would probably tell you I’m one of the least fearful people they’ve ever met. I’m the one out there on the edge, taking risks. But I’m not talking about physical risks like base jumping. I’m talking about emotional and personal risks that put myself out there; pushing my personal boundaries and jumping in where angels fear to tiptoe, that sort of thing. You see, being completely and wholly myself is incredibly important to me but the downside (for want of a better word) is that I am often left exposed emotionally and quite vulnerable. I feel compelled to ‘go there’, move forward and expand who I am but in order to do so, I often have to prise my own fingertips from the window ledge and allow myself to freefall, not knowing where I will land.

Recently the Universe has been pushing me to go to the edges of my comfort zone again and it’s been bringing up fear, big time. From being asked to perform in my Latin dance class in front of other dancers (and in the future, public audiences), to really going for it in my business and some other challenges, I’ve been feeling incredibly exposed.

How can dancing in front of my class make me feel terrified when I can confidently get up in front of a more than 100 people and present (and enjoy it!)? I know it doesn’t make sense. But it’s true. As I said to one of my classmates, “I’m not talking about something rational.” Fear is never rational.

When I shared my fears with my sister she suggested I need to do the things I’m terrified of and there’s a reason the Universe is sending these things my way.

The irony of her comments did not escape me as it’s the kind of advice I usually give to other people.

One of the most interesting things about my fear is observing how I respond when it comes up. In short, every part of me goes into resistance and a range of emotions riot at the surface. The anger, resentment and sometimes tearfulness I feel at being pushed to do something every part of me is resisting is extreme. I want to run from the room immediately, yell or nail my feet to the floor so they can’t move me.

It’s such an over-the-top reaction that it would be amusing, if I wasn’t experiencing it. I also know that such a radical response definitely warrants further investigation because it is blocking my progress forward in some way. In my experience, this type of response usually covers something that needs to come to the surface and be released.

Everyone has fears and you don’t have to do the thing you’re scared of. I’m certainly not going to commit to dancing in front of others just yet. But I am committed to closely looking at the fear it brings up and then taking steps to resolve it.

Perhaps you may see me in a public dance performance yet.

Lucretia is an author, psychic channel and transformational teacher who helps women move past their fears and connect to their inner truth. Her personalised intuitive mentoring programs help women reclaim their Intuitive Power and Live Their Soul’s Mission. Contact Lucretia at lucretia@lucretiaswords.com for more information. You can also find more of her work on Facebook and Instagram 

 

 

 

 

The Real Cost of Giving Up What You Love

The Real Cost of Giving Up What You Love

Can you remember a time when you gave up on something you loved or dreamed about? It might have been when you were a kid, or a teenager or as an adult. I want you to think about when you chose to stop going for that dream or doing that job or activity that you loved. Regardless of the circumstances, there was a moment when you chose to let it go.

Maybe some other kids made fun of you for being different, so you gave it up. Maybe a teacher said you weren’t good enough, so you gave it up. Maybe someone told you that it would be too hard or maybe impossible, so you gave it up. Maybe you had a family to provide for, so you gave it up.

Can you see that moment in your mind’s eye? Can you remember how it felt?

When I look back, I can see a few of those moments too. The one that stands out tonight as I write this post, is the moment I realised that if I was going to be with my husband then I would probably never work overseas. He was perfectly happy staying where he was and we were married and I loved him. At the time, my choice seemed obligatory and not a real choice at all. If I wanted my relationship then I had to give up the exciting dream that beckoned to me.

But it was me who chose. I could have gone for six months and then returned, but I didn’t (I wasn’t brave enough to take that risk on my own). I could have left him, but I didn’t (that came years later when our paths were definitely and permanently no longer running in parallel).

I chose not to chase that dream.

Over the past 13 years, since my marriage ended, I have done a lot of travel. I guess you could say I’ve been making up for lost time. I even worked remotely for clients while I was in Italy last year, so I guess you could say I finally realised my dream after all. Does that mean we all eventually get where we’re meant to go? I’m not sure.

I know I’ve come a long way from that 20-something young woman who was too scared to go for what she really wanted. I also know that the love I’m seeking these days won’t require me to give up what I love and dream of. Compromise in a relationship is one thing, but giving up on your dreams and the things you love permanently is a choice I’m no longer willing to make.

Life will always throw us curve balls. Sometimes we have to defer things and put them off for a while until it’s a better time. I know this. But the danger is when we choose to make those decisions to align with other people’s expectations, or when we think we should just be more sensible, more practical and [insert all the other reasons we tell ourselves why we can’t have what we truly desire and deserve].

I hope that when you read this post you will remember that thing you loved or dreamt of. I also hope you will choose to find a way to reach for it again because the real cost of giving up what you love is always too high.

Lucretia is an author, psychic channel and transformational teacher who helps women reach for what they love. Her three-month, personalised mentoring programs help women like you claim their Intuitive Power and Live Their Soul’s Mission. Contact Lucretia at lucretia@lucretiaswords.com for more information. You can also find more of her work on Facebook and Instagram

Photo by Adrien King on Unsplash
Every Witch Needs a Familiar, Or A Wart On Her Nose

Every Witch Needs a Familiar, Or A Wart On Her Nose

There’s an old saying about witches and their cats: “Every witch needs a familiar”. It’s believed the cat (familiar) and the witch are drawn to each other intuitively and form a lifelong connection.

As a former cat owner, I’ve jokingly refer to myself as a witch who needs a ‘familiar’ and these comments have sometimes caused an expression of disquiet to pass over the faces of people around me.

“But you’re not really a witch, are you?” they’ve asked. You can tell just the word, witch, conjures up unsettling images of supernatural spells, dark places, steaming cauldrons and women with nefarious intentions and wart-topped noses perched on broomsticks. She might even have green skin (if you watched The Wizard of Oz as a child).

At this point, I usually make a joke and lightly move the conversation on to other subjects because I know they feel confronted and perhaps a little afraid of what I’m saying.

I don’t usually refer to myself as a witch because it’s not a term I’ve felt overly drawn to. But I know that in centuries past, someone with my psychic skillset would have been called a witch. In those times I might have been sought out as a healer, a soothsayer, a maker of potions and so on. I may have been feared, ostracised or burned at the stake for my naturally-occurring gifts, even if I used them to help others.

In those times it was wise to keep a low profile.

If you fast forward to the 1960s and 70s, women with metaphysical gifts were depicted in television shows like Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie. Samantha and Jeannie (the respective main characters) were bright, creative and energetic women who were forced to hide who they truly were because their husbands could never feel comfortable with their special gifts and worrying about what the neighbours might think was a big concern.

Shows like these gave my mother’s generation very clear messages about conformity and that openly claiming your metaphysical gifts could not occur in mainstream society. The underlying themes of masculinity being unable to hold space for gifted women was also very revealing (but that is a subject better dealt with in another post).

Fast forward to Halloween 2018 and many little girls across the world donned black hats, wigs and false noses (with the obligatory wart) and (cackling witchily) they moved from house to house asking, “Trick or treat?”

Clearly, the somewhat negative perceptions of witches persist today.

The women I know with metaphysical gifts (and I know quite a lot of them) do not look different from any other person you might meet on the street. They do not have green skin or nefarious intentions for the world around them. They are flawed humans who have special gifts they use to help others and make a difference to the planet in whatever way feels right for them.

They may call themselves witches or herbalists, clairvoyants, psychics, channels, healers, shamans, lightworkers, empaths or any other name that feels right to them.

Their gifts in another time and place would most certainly have defined them as witches.

It’s part of my mission to draw the veil back from the mystery of metaphysics and help others understand that psychic and energetic skills should not be feared, but should be embraced and owned. As I sit here in my make-up and stilettos, writing this post, I also want people to know we are often living in our suburban homes or apartment buildings and participating in mainstream life, just like you.

We’re not weird and we don’t usually have warts on our noses. Some own cauldrons (shout out to my close friend S, you know who you are) but a lot of us don’t. Others work with crystals while some have never used a metaphysical tool in their life. We are all as diverse and unique as the rest of the human race.

And fortunately, in most places in the world, we can no longer be burned at the stake.

Lucretia is an author, psychic channel and transformational teacher who helps women harness their intuition so they can live their Soul’s Mission. You can find more of her work on Facebook and Instagram.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash