I sat in a café today fighting back tears yet staring determinedly at my computer screen. Part of me wanted to run away while the other part thought, no, I have to do this.
I’d begun pulling my poetry collection together and as I began revisiting each piece, one by one, all the emotions they held rose up again within me.
A year a two ago, I found myself working on the same floor as a specialist I had first met in my 20s. As a man with a curious and active mind, who remembered me from way back then, he was keen to read my book as soon as I mentioned it. I still remember the look on his face afterwards. He looked at me intently and said, “It must have been very difficult to write a lot that.”
I nodded and said, “Yes. Yes it was.”
When you’re a memoirist and you write from real life, your life, it’s extraordinarily difficult to hide from yourself and the experiences of your past. You must look at yourself, study where you have been, unpick the threads of your life, then somehow sew them back together.
It’s not an easy journey to undertake. It’s often emotionally challenging. When you write about yourself, you cannot hide from yourself. This is why I frequently use journaling activities with my mentoring clients – what better way to uncover your true desires than to pick up a pen and begin recording your brutal self-honesty in writing.
Just like my first book, my poetry collection is autobiographical and traverses my relationship landscape with all its pain, heartbreaks and disappointments. There is a little humour in there too and this time, I also begin exploring the complicating influence of being psychic.
I’ve found that being highly intuitive can work for and against me in romantic relationships. Yes, it may provide an extra level of insight about the person you are interested in but on the other hand, when your emotions are involved, your ability to easily to discern between your intuition and what your heart would like to happen can fly out the window. Factors like soul contracts and past life connections (or past life hangovers as I call them) can also mess with your head, a lot.
I am not one of those women who can put her emotions in a box. In truth, writing my first book was very much like my own personal version of therapy. It was only through writing about my experiences, editing it then revisiting it again, that I was able to finally clear a lot of debris from my psyche. With the birthing of that book I was able to step back and see where I had learned the lessons I needed to learn, and then let the rest go.
I find that my poetry is far more raw than my prose. It always knows what it wants to be when it arrives. It has a clear intention and energy of its own. Once written I can only change a word here or tweak a phrase there. Further self-indulgent editing inevitably destroys the life of the piece leaving it a bedraggled and shallow version of its former self. So I leave most of the words as they arrive.
The memories in my poetry are vivid. They are unavoidable and, judging by my emotional response today, I still have a lot to process about their contents. Two hours was about all I could manage today before I needed a break. But I am going to persevere. There are other books waiting to be finished and released.
Interestingly the themes of relationships, love, and energetic connections are increasingly showing themselves in my work. I guess my Muse is determined that I learn the lessons that are being delivered to me and I continue to be her reluctant yet committed pupil.
I met a young guy today – let’s call him Mickey* – who is going for what he believes in. He is establishing a business and believes he can make a difference to people’s lives through what he does. I believe he can make a difference too.
What was interesting is, as I thought about my appointment with him (which was for a personal issue of my own), I found myself picking up information about how he could promote and market his business more effectively. This is one of the ways my psychic channel often works – I seem to be good at picking up how people are blocking themselves from achieving their next level, and then I tune into the way forward and up. Sometimes this happens without any intention from me – being psychic means I’m a bit like a giant antennae and will sometimes just pick up stuff because that’s how I roll.
Although we have a mutual friend, I had never met Mickey before today. But I could feel his energy and passion for what he is creating long before I walked into his office. So when we met in person, I shared the insights I had felt with him.
As so often happens in these situations, he had been thinking about some of the things I mentioned but had been stopping himself from following through. He also shared that others had made some suggestions but yet, still, he had not moved forward.
This made me laugh because it is exactly how the Universe works when we are preventing ourselves from shifting.
The Universe will send us the same message over and over again, via conversations, books, movies, signs, random thoughts and other ways to try and get our attention. We humans are often slow learners and don’t like the unknown so I guess the Universe knows it has to ‘stay on message’ to get through our resistance.
Mickey and I talked a little about what was getting in the way and I gave him a few new marketing ideas to think about. I hope he actions them because he has a lot to give but people won’t hear about it unless he pushes that edge of his comfort zone just a little bit more.
When I was about to leave Mickey mentioned a topic he is passionate about. He has a slightly controversial perspective and when I noted this he said, he believed it and wanted to talk about it.
I said, “Go for it”.
I believe you should take your conviction and passion, stand on it and use it to lift you up so you can share your story with the world and create the change you want to see.
I look forward to seeing how Mickey’s business grows in the future. His willingness to back himself and speak his truth will help him to forge ahead and create the difference he wants to see in the world.
I hope if you’re reading this, you take a chance on sharing your story too.
Is it really that easy to use our intuition every day? My answer is HECK YEAH! Using out intuition enables us to live more in alignment with our values, more connected to the things we truly desire and more able to live our Soul’s Mission. Here are my 9 EASY STEPS to help you live intuitively for a day by growing your awareness, presence and connection.
STEP 1: When you wake up in the morning (before those thoughts begin scurrying through your mind about what you ‘should’ do that day) ask yourself, “What do I need to do for myself today?” then go and do that thing. Remember, it won’t be about obligations or meeting someone else’s needs. Instead it will be about you know you intuitively need to do for you.
STEP 2: When you eat throughout the day ask yourself, “How does this food make me feel?” “Does it make me feel nourished and light?” If so, keep eating it. But if it makes you feel heavy and gluggy (yes, I did just use that word LOL!!) then choose something else to eat. By doing so you will be listening intuitively to your body and what it needs.
STEP 3: Notice how you feel when you interact with people throughout the day. Do you feel energised or drained afterwards? Intuitively tune into how their energy makes you feel.
STEP 4: How do you feel when you are in certain places e.g. on the train, the bus, the supermarket, your office, a meeting room? How does your energy respond to the environment you are in.
STEP 5: When you get an intuitive lead, follow it. An intuitive lead is when something catches your eye and for a moment you think, “That might be cool/interesting/something fun to do…” then your mind usually steps in and tells you why it’s not practical, you’re too busy, people will think you’re weird, etc. Instead of listening to your mind, follow your intuitive lead and see where it takes you. It could be the start of something amazing!
STEP 6: Connect to the earth. Find time to stand on the grass in your bare feet and just focus on your breathing for a few minutes. If you can’t go outside for some reason, then simply close your eyes and visualise yourself doing it. When we connect to the earth in this way we improve our ability to be present and able to connect into our inner voice.
STEP 7: Turn off technology 2 hours before bedtime. Our iPhones and other devices are incredibly valuable but they take our energy and focus outside ourselves and this makes it more difficult to tune into and hear our intuitive voice. Take a break from technology and do something you enjoy that brings you back into this moment.
STEP 8: Meditate. Many people resist meditation because they think they can’t do it right. But at its core, meditation is simply about being present and breathing. When we practise this regularly, we help to shut out the noise that prevents us from tuning into our inner voice.
STEP 9: Journaling is an amazing way to clear out the debris from our minds and get clear about how we really feel and what we really want (separate from everyone else’s expectations). Spend 15 minutes writing about how you felt throughout your Day of Living Intuitively. Did anything surprise you? Did you learn something new?
>>>If you’re ready to clear out the obstacles that have been holding you back, kick your indecision to the kerb and harness your intuitive power so you can live your Soul’s Mission, check out Nights for Spiritual Beginners. EARLY BIRD OFFER CLOSES 11.59PM (AEST) 30 JANUARY 2019. Spaces are limited so don’t miss out on your chance to transform your life, empower yourself, make a difference and begin creating the changes your Soul is longing to make.<<<
Pic: Renee Lavin Photography