A while ago I found myself advising a friend that he should tell himself a different story. He was really down and hard on himself. He felt like he couldn’t make any headway in the direction he wanted to go.
‘Tell yourself a different story,’ I said. ‘That story isn’t serving you anymore so tell yourself something different.’
Ironically, today I found myself saying the same thing…to me. And then I laughed aloud. It’s funny how the advice you give to others can often be just as useful for yourself.
I’ve been telling myself a story in one part of my life and that story isn’t serving me anymore. So now I need to tell myself a new one.
So often, particularly after something disappointing or hurtful happens (once, twice of maybe many times), we hold onto the story of that situation and then look for ways to validate it. We ignore the wonderful things right in front of us, i.e. the parts of our lives that are working beautifully, and instead focus on that same outdated story from the past. And by focusing on the story of our past we are doomed to repeat it.
Now I’m not saying your story wasn’t valid. Something happened to cause you pain and you should absolutely acknowledge, grieve and then heal that wound. But if you keep telling yourself that story, it will be all you ever see. It will restrict your life, confine you to the past and prevent you moving forward. And that would be a tragedy because there is a world of potential staring you in the face right now. I guarantee it.
So just as I hope my old friend eventually told himself a different story, one of hope, transformation and positivity, I plan to do the same in that part of my life where I’ve been holding back. Because that old story of my past is no longer serving me.
It’s time to let a new story begin