Image courtesy of www.oprah.com
If you’ve been single for any period of time, you’ve probably found yourself confiding in a girlfriend about how lonely you are and they’ve comforted you with that tried and true statement, ‘you have to really love yourself first before the right one can come in’ or ‘you have to be comfortable with yourself and not care about attracting someone, and then the right one will just fall into your lap.’
And I’m sure you (just like me) have said one of these phrases (or something similar) to your single friends on numerous occasions.
Now while I acknowledge this is no doubt sensible and very rational advice I also (being the contrary woman that I am) say FOOEY to it all.
Because I, like so many others, have spent a lot of time being really comfortable with myself. I’ve gone out and lived exactly the life I’ve wanted, gloried in my independence and loved myself for just who I am.
I’ve been comfortable being in full possession of the remote control and attending all significant social events without a romantic partner for years now.
And that’s all fine.
But hey, guess what! I’m still single.
And so are a lot of other women out there.
And while I don’t mind being single most of the time, I do occasionally think it would be really nice for someone take me out for dinner or better still, cook me dinner.
And it would be nice to be in a loving relationship with a good man I’m attracted to and have things in common with.
And on these occasions (which I confess sometimes last more than a few minutes), I don’t feel comfortable with just being me, alone. I feel the exact opposite in fact.
And I guess that’s just life.
So, what is the point of all these musings?
Well I guess my point is this…when you’re a single chick who’s (mostly) got it together, you will have times when you don’t feel that great about being alone. You will feel lonely sometimes.
And honestly, it’s pretty clear that loving yourself isn’t always a prerequisite for attracting men – I know a lot of women who don’t like themselves very much but they are still married, dating or living with someone who is quite lovely.
So perhaps that theory doesn’t quite work for everyone all the time.
What I do believe is the right people come into your life at the right time. And you can’t force that to happen – the universe has it’s own timetable.
So if the right man hasn’t shown up yet and you’re feeling kind of low and lonely, just remember the feelings will pass.
And soon, in a few minutes, hours, days or weeks, you will remember why you are fabulous, just as you are, just on your own.
In the meantime, enjoy your comfort food of choice (I’m off for some chocolate ice-cream).