I don’t think anyone on this planet can truly say they have lived a perfect and blameless life. We have all, every single one of us, done or said things we have regretted and even tried to pretend they never happened.
Unfortunately, those things we try to forget, lurk there in the back of our minds and rear their ugly heads when we least expect it. And then we torment ourselves with guilt or disappointment that we didn’t behave better at the time.
Worse still is when we confess our ‘sin’ to someone we care about and hope they won’t judge or think less of us in return.
But it’s at that moment that things can get interesting. Because if that person truly loves you as a friend, a lover or family member, they won’t judge you at all and they won’t think less of you either. Instead they will accept you as you are; a human being with weaknesses, frailties and emotions.
And in that moment you will realise that you should forgive yourself for the wrongs you believe you’ve done. Because those things can’t be undone, no matter how much you’d like them to be, and tormenting yourself is wasteful of your energy. Instead, forgive yourself and resolve to learn from your mistakes, not flagellate yourself for them.
After all, as I often tell my students, you will learn more from getting it wrong than you will ever learn from getting it right. And life is too short to carry all that guilt with you.