If you’ve found this post then you’re
someone who wants to create change in the world. You want to live differently
to the way your parents and other people you know have lived. You have a vision
or maybe just an inkling of doing things differently.
Have you ever shared your desire,
your dream, your vision with someone you thought would have your back? Maybe you
opened up just a little and trusted them.
You wanted their support and
understanding but instead, all you heard was something like:
“Oh look that sounds a bit like a dream to me and not very
realistic”
“I really think you need to be a bit more practical”
“I think that’s something you can do on the side. But for now
you should finish your degree and get a really good job”
“We never had these opportunities when we were young and we
wanted to make sure that you have them. So don’t waste them. Get a good job and
get paid well. Forget all that other stuff because it’s not very realistic.
Just go out and achieve, achieve, achieve.” (This may come from your parents if they didn’t have a lot of
opportunities.)
When you get this type of negative or “realistic” feedback about what you want to create, it can be really hard to keep your focus and maintain your faith in your ability to make your dreams real.
But there are things you can do to
make sure their stories and negative feedback doesn’t take you off track and
stop you from living your purpose.
Understand their response is about THEIR STORY NOT YOURS.
We all tell ourselves stories
about what is possible and what is not. These are based on our experiences, beliefs
and interactions with others.
But if you share your desire or dream
with someone and their story negatively influences their response, you
potentially enter a danger zone. If you are not feeling really grounded and
centred in yourself, you will take their story on as your truth. This is
dangerous for you because it’s not the truth. It is just a story they believe
and they are projecting it onto you.
It’s possible their dreams were
squashed when they were young and they lost hope that they could do anything
different. This led them to conform and do what their parents, community and friends
wanted them to do. So your idea to do something that bucks the system will confront
their beliefs and the story they’ve been telling themselves about what their
life can, could or should be.
I’m not trying to invalidate their
perspectives because those experiences will be real for them. But that’s their
story, NOT YOURS. You’re here to create your own story.
Yes, you need to be able to
support yourself financially, look after and be responsible for yourself. But
that doesn’t mean you have to live the same kind of life that other people think
you should live.
ALL OR NOTHING THINKING can stop you before you start
Sometimes we also have all or nothing thinking and this stops us from moving forward. You will be worrying that if you make the wrong decision now, you might screw everything up. This leaves you feeling indecisive and sometimes you avoid making any decisions at all.
But whatever you’re doing when
you’re aged 20, 22, 25, 27, etcetera, YOU WON’T BE DOING THOSE THINGS IN
ANOTHER 10 YEARS. Nothing stays the same for that long so you’re better off taking
a chance in this moment, doing what feels right for you and moving forward.
Otherwise you will be waiting for the perfect time and a guaranteed outcome (neither
of these exist!!).
One particular decision is rarely going
to make or break your entire life. Waiting for other people to “get it”, and
understand and support your decisions is also wasting time.
If other people don’t agree with your life choices, that is not your problem.
Yes, we all want people to like us.
But you cannot put yourself into a box to help other people feel more
comfortable with their life choices. That’s not your job.
What other people think of you is none
of your business. You need to focus on what you think of you!
Focus on what you feel is the next
right step for you and trust yourself. When you do that, you are moving forward
with your life purpose and life path. You will meet other people along the way
who will get what you are trying to do. They will understand what you’re trying
to create and will support you. But there will be others who will test your
faith in yourself.
You need to make the best decision
for you right now and understand that not everyone is going to agree with you,
and that’s okay. Sure, sit back and question yourself a little but then ask
yourself “Okay, what feels like the right thing for me?” then follow
that and know it’s all going to work out. It probably won’t look like you think
it will – life never works out the way we think it should. But it’s going to
work out beautifully and in the best possible way for you.
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It’s for people who are ready to get serious, develop epic self-trust and harness their intuition so they can get out there and create change in the world.
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Is it really that easy to use our intuition every day? My answer is HECK YEAH! Using out intuition enables us to live more in alignment with our values, more connected to the things we truly desire and more able to live our Soul’s Mission. Here are my 9 EASY STEPS to help you live intuitively for a day by growing your awareness, presence and connection.
STEP 1: When you wake up in the
morning (before those thoughts begin scurrying through your mind about what you
‘should’ do that day) ask yourself, “What do I need to do for myself
today?” then go and do that thing. Remember, it won’t be about obligations
or meeting someone else’s needs. Instead it will be about you know you
intuitively need to do for you.
STEP 2: When you eat throughout the
day ask yourself, “How does this food make me feel?” “Does it
make me feel nourished and light?” If so, keep eating it. But if it makes
you feel heavy and gluggy (yes, I did just use that word LOL!!) then choose
something else to eat. By doing so you will be listening intuitively to your
body and what it needs.
STEP 3: Notice how you feel when you
interact with people throughout the day. Do you feel energised or drained
afterwards? Intuitively tune into how their energy makes you feel.
STEP 4: How do you feel when you are
in certain places e.g. on the train, the bus, the supermarket, your office, a
meeting room? How does your energy respond to the environment you are in.
STEP 5: When you get an intuitive
lead, follow it. An intuitive lead is when something catches your eye and for a
moment you think, “That might be cool/interesting/something fun to
do…” then your mind usually steps in and tells you why it’s not
practical, you’re too busy, people will think you’re weird, etc. Instead of
listening to your mind, follow your intuitive lead and see where it takes you.
It could be the start of something amazing!
STEP 6: Connect to the earth. Find
time to stand on the grass in your bare feet and just focus on your breathing
for a few minutes. If you can’t go outside for some reason, then simply close your
eyes and visualise yourself doing it. When we connect to the earth in this way
we improve our ability to be present and able to connect into our inner voice.
STEP 7: Turn off technology 2 hours
before bedtime. Our iPhones and other devices are incredibly valuable but they
take our energy and focus outside ourselves and this makes it more difficult to
tune into and hear our intuitive voice. Take a break from technology and do something
you enjoy that brings you back into this moment.
STEP 8: Meditate. Many people resist
meditation because they think they can’t do it right. But at its core,
meditation is simply about being present and breathing. When we practise this
regularly, we help to shut out the noise that prevents us from tuning into our
inner voice.
STEP 9: Journaling is an amazing way
to clear out the debris from our minds and get clear about how we really feel
and what we really want (separate from everyone else’s expectations). Spend 15
minutes writing about how you felt throughout your Day of Living Intuitively.
Did anything surprise you? Did you learn something new?
>>>If you’re ready to clear out the obstacles that have been holding you back, kick your indecision to the kerb and harness your intuitive power so you can live your Soul’s Mission, check out Nights for Spiritual Beginners. EARLY BIRD OFFER CLOSES 11.59PM (AEST) 30 JANUARY 2019. Spaces are limited so don’t miss out on your chance to transform your life, empower yourself, make a difference and begin creating the changes your Soul is longing to make.<<<
Have you ever noticed
how the things you want to get away from, will keep following you? No matter
how many times you swear, “I’m never going to be in this situation again!” you will
somehow find yourself back there for another round. It could be your new partner
sucks you into a dysfunctional relationship (just like the last one!) or you
get a new job and the work never really feels fulfilling (just like the last
one!).
Often these patterns
will jump across various parts of our lives. You have a boss who bullies you
and a family member and a boyfriend who does the same? What a coincidence.
But the truth is, it’s
not a coincidence. Unfortunately. And when you realise that you are the common denominator in all these repeating
situations, you also have to face another crushing truth – you need to change
something in you to break the repeating patterns in your life.
In my case, does that
mean I deserved to be disrespected by men repeatedly in the past? Um, no.
Does that mean I
deserved to have bosses who bullied me overtly and covertly? No.
But it sure as heck
meant that I needed to do something differently to stop it from happening again.
As you become more
self-aware and self-accountable, these types of realisations are difficult to
avoid along with the understanding that, despite all the red flags, we still
rush headlong into the very situations we want to avoid – until we change
something in us.
In my case, I dealt with
a repeating pattern by learning how to set healthy boundaries and then maintain
them. I won’t say it was easy (actually it was kind of scary for me) but once I
did it a few times the pattern stopped.
I still have other
patterns to deal with (we all do) but once you can identify them, develop an
effective strategy to do something differently, then implement it consistently,
the pattern stops being an issue.
I confess this all
sounds fine and very practical but it is also incredibly annoying because I can’t
play the victim for long periods of time anymore. After all, you can’t be a
victim if you played a role in putting yourself there in the first place.
Drat!
As you grow in
self-awareness you have to deal with your ‘stuff’ and it’s not always fun or comfortable.
But it’s the trade-off we make if we want to evolve and, in my case, break a
pattern of bullies and dysfunctional relationships.
If you’re ready to break free from the patterns that have been holding you back for too long, check out my Nights for Spiritual Beginners – six powerful nights over six weeks to help you kick your indecision and self-doubt to the kerb, connect to your intuitive power and insight, and step forward confidently so you can live your Soul’s Mission. Email me to find out more>>
There is a dim glow of golden starlight at my desk tonight. I know I can write anywhere but to have stars surrounding me is a special treat and it makes my office feel a little magical.
I can see a faint pale smudge through the curtains and when I pull them back, the moon sneaks through; a pale half crescent sideways.
I’ve been thinking about discomfort and new beginnings today, and when I bought the strings of stars from this morning, my goal was to help create a new beginning for myself and a new environment to work in.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve definitely had my share of discomfort and happenings that I did not seek and were quite frankly, unwanted. More than once I’ve felt like I’ve entered the swinging doors of a saloon, got caught in a gunfight and then been ejected unceremoniously out the doors on the other side of the bar where I’ve fallen face first into the muddy street.
My ego has been bruised, my self-confidence tested, and the Universe has called on me to let go of places where I felt comfortable, people I cared about and a pet I adored. And all this within a matter of weeks with losses and disappointments sometimes occurring within days of each other.
It’s been a trying time, to say the least.
I’ve wondered if there has been an energetic clearing happening as I’ve watched friends go through their own rather dramatic challenges and changes. It’s almost like the Universe has decided, “Nope you’re in the wrong place and if you’re not going to move then I will force you to shift.” Other people have jumped first when they’ve seen the Universal writing on the wall or faced harsh truths they have been avoiding before finally taken some action.
Whatever the Universe’s method, many now find themselves in places they didn’t plan to be in 2018.
Of course, it is our mind’s often obsessive need to control our journey and then pick the destination that makes these changes to our planned trajectory even more difficult. And when you add in your thwarted heart’s desires, the discomfort level increases and sometimes makes things almost unbearable.
I believe that human beings are genetically programmed to resist change, even when the outcome will be beneficial for us. I have no scientific evidence to back this up. However, when I look around, it seems that so many of us would rather stay in terribly uncomfortable, unsatisfying and sometimes downright unhappy situations and relationships simply because the alternative of disrupting the status quo and leaving our known ‘comfort zone’ is just too disturbing.
We humans are a little crazy that way.
However, when we resist for too long, the Universe will inevitably step in and kick our backsides until we have no choice but to move, let go or to step forward. She ultimately will make our comfort zone simply too uncomfortable, or take the decisions completely out of our hands.
And that is when the magic begins, whether we like it or not, because when these dramatic changes occur, they’re designed to get us back on track, to shake us up and remind us about what’s really important. If we’re wise, we’ll be honest with ourselves and recognise the changes for what they are – our chance to expand, grow and be more in alignment.
I’ve found myself changing roles twice in a short period of time in a way I never expected (or particularly enjoyed). But the place I’ve ended up is perfect for me and I have the time and space to write more – which is one of the most important things to me right now. I’ve also been reminded of a valuable lesson – that some people will never accept your help, even if they need it desperately. So it is better to help those who welcome it and leave others to do as they will – even if you know their journey is going to be more difficult as a result.
I’ve also been reminded that kindness and giving without expectation is a divine part of being human. When I my darling cat Mirabel took a rapid turn for the worse a few weeks ago, I sat with her in the surgery on a Sunday night, holding her in my arms as tears streamed down my cheeks. I knew it was her time to pass over and, although the kind vet (her own eyes filling with tears on my behalf) came to check on me occasionally, I was alone and emotionally torn apart.
Later, as I finally left with an empty cat carrier, I saw a woman sitting on the concrete near my car. I’d heard her desperate cries through the walls earlier when she’d brought in her Mum’s dog.
I put the lonely carrier into the front seat then walked back, dropped to my knees on the beside the woman and took her into my arms. We then cried together for a while, two strangers, on the ground, in the cold late night air. I cried many more tears when I got home (and since then too) but offering her that comfort, and receiving it in return, helped me to feel a little less alone in my grief.
I must confess that Mirabel’s passing seemed an unnecessarily cruel blow coming just days after the very careful and deliberate withdrawal of someone important from my life. Although I understood rationally why things had happened, the Universe’s timing didn’t really seem to be in my best interests. But I guess it’s a sign of my resilience that I was able to get up for work then hold it together all day before sobbing my way home in the car as I thought of the cat-free zone that waited for me at the end of the trip.
You might wonder how I could feel that any of this was being done ‘for me’ by the Universe. I mean really, I have to say nothing felt particularly great at the time. Instead I felt like I was taking one blow after another.
But now the worst has past, I can see that although there has been pain and sadness, there have also been positive changes and shifts that occurred without me even realising it. Things are moving in the right direction and I know I’m on the right track.
Jobs will come and go, people will leave and return, and sometimes we will be asked to let go of the people, pets and hopes we hold close to our hearts.
But life is a fluid process and we always end up where we’re supposed to be, even if we would prefer a different outcome. My current place is under the stars with the haunting cry of a curlew in the distance, and in this moment, I feel peace.
I wish the same for you.
Lucretia is an author, psychic channel and transformational teacher. Her first book The Men I’ve Almost Dated is available through all good online bookstores. Lucretia also delivers mentoring programs to help intuitives, empaths and psychics learn how to manage their gifts and connect to their Soul’s Purpose.
Often when we are going through challenging times our ‘mean girl voice’ inside really kicks in. That nasty little voice makes us feel even worse when we are just trying to hold it together and make it through. It’s the voice that tells you that you’re not good enough, that you should be better at managing your life, that you are a ‘loser’ because you don’t have it together like everyone else.
The truth is, no one EVER really has it all together all the time. Scratch the surface and most of us have struggles to move through and challenges to overcome. To believe otherwise is a complete delusion which is fed by the carefully crafted images of our lives that we share on social media and show to the world.
What you really need when you’re struggling, is kindness. Try treating yourself like your own best friend. When you hear the mean girl beginning to rant, stop, recognise what’s happening and be kind, be compassionate and above all be understanding of your own vulnerability and frailty. It’s not about letting yourself ‘off the hook’. It’s about giving yourself support when you need it so you can rise up and move forward once you’ve regrouped.
In short, the next time you hear the mean girl’s voice, tell her to F**K OFF and create a new, more positive type of self-talk.
Like most people, there are things in my childhood and adolescence that scarred me emotionally. Interactions with family members and friends stay with you a long time and those memories mark you in many ways. They also influence your decisions and ideas about who you are and how the world operates.
I’m 44 now and it’s amazing how much I’m still unpicking those threads from my younger years. It’s like there are dozens of boxes strewn around the place and every now and then I trip over one and land unceremoniously on my backside.
Of course I can choose to get up at that point, kick the box to one side and keep going. But invariably all that means is there will be an even harder fall in the future. The Universe is like that you know. It will flag an issue for you to look at and, if you choose to ignore it, it will simply smack you harder next time. The Universe’s subtlety and patience can sometimes decrease rather rapidly.
These days I generally make time to undo the strings and sticky tape that’s holding the box together, and then I look inside. Some of the boxes in the past have been labeled with words like ‘rejection’, ‘need for acknowledgement’, ‘disrespect’, ‘judgement’, ‘abandonment’ and ‘love’. Inside each one has been a memory of how someone treated me, something said in jest or with cruel intention, or a situation that caused me pain.
As I’ve peered into each box, I’ve understood that I too had a role to play in creating those moments in my life. There were lessons for me to learn and things I needed to know about myself and others.
Does that mean the behaviour of some people was acceptable and kind? Definitely not. Sometimes it was the absolute opposite and, unsurprisingly, they are the moments that have marked me the most.
But with self-awareness, I have to acknowledge that while those things happened, I cannot allow them to twist my present and future in unfavourable ways. I cannot allow them to taint the possibilities and opportunities that lay before me. Yet sometimes that’s exactly what happens. Someone will say or do something in the present and I’ll be triggered back to that moment in my childhood or adolescence when something similar happened. And in that moment all the emotion from that past event will rise within me. Suddenly I will feel like I’m swimming through cotton wool, voiceless, powerless and with no idea where to go.
This is the moment the Universe pushes me over a box from my past.
It can be tempting to ignore the box and instead focus on the antagonising trigger in my present. Certainly it would feel more satisfying in the short-term to throw all my blame and pain on the person triggering my response.
But I know there is a reason such strong feelings arise and usually they start with me, my past, my lessons and my path. So I instead I apply metaphorical iodine to my wounds and open the box to peer inside. Then I find a way to work through its contents, get help to process it all if I need to, and then I do my best to let it go.
Unsurprisingly, it’s at this point the antagoniser in my present loses their power. I can deal with them calmly, almost matter-of-factly then, because it was never really about them personally. They were just a mirror showing me something to look at. They were just a chance for me to learn that now, as an adult, I can find another way.
Lucretia Ackfield is a writer and transformational teacher who helps women reconnect to the greatness that lies within by accessing their intuitive power. If you’d like to learn more about using your intuition or Lucretia’s programs, check out her Facebook page Lucretia’s Words or join her Facebook group Rock Your Inner Channel.
