Are you ready to create your life?

lifeSo here’s what I know to be true.

You can create the life you dream of. But you have to work for it. You have to put your money where your mouth is. And you have to believe you are worthy of your dream.

So start. Get up out of that chair and start.

Make that phone call. Start that blog. Register your business. Call the person you love and tell them you’re ready to take that chance. Enrol in that course. Start that exercise program.

Ignore those people who tell you that you’re crazy and deluded. You’ll need to trust yourself if you’re going to make it happen. So just take that first step and keep going.

Persist. Believe. Do.

Set your intention and give yourself small goals to reach along the way. Keep them small so they are attainable and eventually build up to something big.

Only you can do it. It’s your life and no one else is going to do it for you. So what are you waiting for?

I have faith in you.

Now it’s time for you to have faith in yourself

Resistance is useless

ResistanceThere comes a time for many people when the Universe stops us in our tracks and forces us to question everything we have built and believed to be true. The moment may be triggered by a divorce, a death, a chance meeting or even the casual words of a stranger. Whatever occurs, it will often have meaning only to you. But its impact will be massive.

What follows is usually a spin that leaves you feeling as if your life is out of control. You will question everything and frequently resist the honesty of what you feel. You will fight it because if you are open, you will have to change your life. And you will have to change the lives of those around you

You may have to say, ‘No, I don’t want this anymore. I want something different.’ You will feel like you are selfish and should be thinking of others and, as you transform (because the Universe will not let you rest until you do) others will judge and not understand you.

You will reach for things you never believed you could have but truly desired. You will set boundaries where they have been badly needed but never placed before.

Your world will crack open and you will need to rebuild it from the ground up.

This process is painful and must be done by you alone because you must invariably cast off everything that was, in order to create what will be.

You will need to walk away from that person you have been.

I have been through this process three times now in the past decade or so. And each time it has involved leaving things and/or people behind. I have not done it lightly but my soul has demanded that it occur. I have resisted the process every time.

The first time it happened, it was a chance meeting that began the process. What followed was more than two years of resistance, pain, transformation and ultimately the ending of my marriage. It was then followed by a roller coaster of experiences that helped me become someone very different.

The second time involved my psychic awakening and I have to tell you, that was no picnic either. It was painful and a sometimes frightening experience. And yes, I often resisted it too.

I should have realised by then that resistance was useless.

The third time was very recently when I was faced with a personal problem I desperately wanted to solve and yet could see no solution. The Universe stopped me in my tracks and demanded that I go within myself to find the answer. It would not let me simply coast along.

This time, after a few days, I stopped my brain (and my ego) long enough to connect into my intuition to find the way forward. I stopped resisting and instead faced that I must ‘get real’ and go within to find the truth. But I was terrified that if I did go inside myself and uncover my true desiers, I may have to let go of something I desperately wanted to have in my life. But I knew I must be brave enough to go there. I would have no peace until I did. I stepped back from the noise in the rest of my life and went within.

What followed was a change that, while it might seem small to others, was huge for me. I discovered a part of myself I never really believed was there. I was transformed and all these doors in my mind and life that I’d believed were sealed shut, blew open. I gained clarity that two weeks earlier, I didn’t believe was possible.

My transformation this time was much quicker than before because I gave up the resistance early. But I didn’t do it alone. This time I sought guidance and healing from people I could trust. They had my best interests at heart. They were the ones who didn’t have an agenda about what my life should look like. They just wanted to help me find my own way. And so I did.

So why am I sharing all this? Is there a point to this blog?

I’m sharing this story because there are people in my life right now, people I love dearly, who are going through exactly this process of transformation. Some of them have unexpectedly begun the journey while others have been struggling with it for years. They know they must change their life, they know their soul demands it, and yet their ego – that part of us that holds on to safety and wants things to stay exactly as they are – is resisting. My dear friends, just like I did, are fighting themselves to the death. It is painful for them and difficult for me to watch but I know they must complete the transformation into the person they are meant to be.

Each of them is terrified that if they look to closely at what is within their own hearts, they will need to change. They worry about hurting and disappointing others. They worry that they have to throw everything out and start again.

They may have to do all those things. Some of them will ultimately walk away from relationships, begin new careers or simply spring clean their life from the inside out. They will all have to change what is to become what must be. They may keep things or relationships or desires from before or discard them. Those things that are kept will be closely aligned to the more authentic version of who is being created. It may sound clichéd but they will emerge like a newborn, or a butterfly fresh from its chrysalis, to a new life that is full of more than they could ever have imagined was possible. And in this new life, they will allow themselves to reach for what they truly want.

But to reach that moment they will need to question everything – their beliefs and expectations, and the life they have so far chosen to live. They will need to crack open the box inside them, labeled ‘the truth about [name]’ and face what is inside. They will need to let things go.

They must go within. And the longer they resist, the harder it will get because they will not be allowed to resist for long. The Universe will simply push and push until they face the truth and take action.

Resistance will be useless.

Are you living your reality, or someone else’s?

REalityMy good friends Susanna* told me recently that these days she creates her own reality. And before you begin to wonder if she is delusional, let me assure you she is not.

Instead, she has realised that it’s up to her to create her world and her own version of truth within it. Because it is so easy to go through life and accept the ‘truths’ that other people tell you. The ‘truths’ that life is hard and you shouldn’t aim too high. Or maybe it’s a truth you’ve made up for yourself – a combination of the knocks life has dealt you over time – the truths that you’re not good enough, or you’ll never get that job, that freedom, that boy (or girl).

And so it goes.

But what Susanna has discovered is another truth altogether. It’s the truth that we can choose what we believe in and live our lives accordingly. Yes, there will always be events and people who impact on our lives. But their version of the ‘truth’ is something you can accept or discard. Just the same as when that so-called truthful voice in your head tells you what isn’t possible, you can accept or discard that too.

The trick is to starve that version of truth and replace it with a far healthier one.

For example, when someone says your dream is too big and you should be more realistic, you can either accept that truth or say, ‘No. That’s not my truth. My truth is that I believe that I can shoot for the stars and I’m going to make it happen.’ And then you don’t give that other truth any more thought. You don’t dwell on it, or give it the time of day. You starve it until it’s no longer part of your reality.

And in an energetic sense, this very act helps your truth become reality. Because it is where you direct your energy that life begins, and the laws of attraction come into play. You may also find that the obstacles, those insurmountable mountains that once blocked your every move, dissipate and the way forward becomes clear.

So decide on your truth and create your world around it. Create the reality your heart wants to live in. And remember that truth is always in the eye of the beholder…so make sure your truth is worth holding on to.

You have the power to change your life

Begin it now.Have you ever looked at someone and thought, ‘Wow! How did they get that life? Why can’t my life be that great?’

Well, I have a message for you. You can get the life you want. You just have to start.

Part of me feels like I’m about to launch into a sales pitch but I’m not, really. I’m just writing this to let you know (yes, you!!) that you can create the life you want. You just need to choose it, right now, this minute. It’s in your hands.

You don’t need someone else’s permission or approval. I know you might think you do. Maybe you’ve been doing what everyone else wants for so long that you’ve forgotten you have a choice. Maybe you think looking out for your best interests is selfish.

Guess what, it is selfish. But that’s required. You can’t live your life for other people and be happy. It just won’t work. Instead you’ll see glimpses of true happiness in the lives other people are living.

So start your life now. Just take one small step, for you. Begin creating the life you want, slowly but surely.

You really do have the power.

It’s never too late to learn something new

learnThere’s a designated tutor room I can sit in at Uni. It includes 24 hot desks where tutors can sit and work in a quiet atmosphere interrupted only by the tapping of keyboards and the occasional sounds of a student consultation.

I never like to sit there. It’s too quiet and for some reason I feel isolated, even though I am surrounded by other tutors.

Instead you will find me sitting in common areas, on floors and in foyers where the students mill around laughing as they travel to or from class, or sit mulling intently over some image on their laptop that I cannot see. There is energy in them I think and part of me connects to that energy and expands because of it.

I am not a student and not one of them. But being around them makes me feel revitalised and my spirits are lifted. Just being around the right energy can make my day a whole lot better.

And when I’m in a class where students respond and participate in discussions and share their ideas, I am lifted even further. Their thirst to know and grow is inspiring and joyful. So often we forget that feeling, that desire to learn, and it is wonderful to be reminded every time I step on campus.

They are not paragons of virtue, of course. None of us are. They are frequently flawed procrastinators (not unlike me), juggling jobs, uni and friends with hopeless time management and sometimes less than optimal results. But they remind me of something precious…that our capacity to expand never really leaves us. Many of us try to vanquish that desire within us. ‘I am too busy to do that’ or I’m too old to learn’ or ‘When would I ever use that’, we will say to ourselves and others when the desire to do something new beckons us into unknown territory. We fear the possibility that we might fail or look stupid.

But being around these students of all ages reminds me somehow that it is never too late to learn, to grow, or to learn something new.

And it is never too late for you either.

Are your decisions upsetting other people?

Image - soundfit.net

Image – soundfit.net

Nearly a decade ago I made a decision that upset a lot of people. I ended my marriage.

My husband Daniel was, and is, a good man. He was reliable, goodlooking, caring, funny and the kind of man everyone loved.

Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, I stopped loving him. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t recover those feelings. They were gone and so eventually I accepted my marriage was over.

My decision to leave wasn’t popular in a lot of quarters.

Some of my friends were incredulous and even scornful. How could I consider leaving? Daniel was, in their eyes, the perfect man. I must be out of my mind.

Some of my family members were angry, upset and believed for years afterwards that I would live to regret my decision.

But I haven’t.

Leaving the home Daniel and I shared was incredibly difficult. But I knew then, as I know now, that it was what I needed to do for me. I couldn’t stay there anymore and be true to myself. I had a right to be happy and my heart was telling me very clearly that it was time to go.

Dealing with the disappointment, anger and judgement of others in that kind of situation can be hard. You need to have faith in yourself and be truly connected to what is best for you.

Sometimes other people won’t be supportive because your behaviour doesn’t align with what they want, expect or believe is right.

But you can’t let that stand in your way.

Living your life to only make others happy will only make you miserable. You have a right to be happy too.

Sometimes it will feel like being true to yourself just makes you unpopular. And you know what, it might. But the alternative is hardly an option. After all, do you want to live the life you want? Don’t you have a right to do that?

Living your life to make others happy at your own expense is actually kind of nuts. They get everything they want and you get…nothing?

I never set out to hurt anyone. And it caused me a lot of pain to see the people I cared about (including my husband) in pain. But I knew I had to go because that was best for me. Staying would keep others happy but leave me miserable.

And that’s not what life is about.

We must always be true to ourselves. So be brave my friends and live the life that is best for you. Trust your own judgement and don’t live in fear of the censure of others.

Your heart wants you to fly…so don’t lock yourself in a cage that’s been created by and for others.

It’s really not worth it.