I have a fear that gnaws away at me sometimes. It’s the fear that once everything opens up again, nothing will really have changed. Or more specifically, people will choose to go back to the way things were and not make any fundamental changes at all.
I understand that many of us are saying, “I just want my life back. I just want my freedom back.” Lord knows, as a single extrovert who lives alone, I’d love the chance to date, have sex, go out with friends and physically touch another human being. I get it.
But I also understand this moment in time, with all its attending death, trauma and upheaval, is a chance for individuals to choose something different when the world opens again. It is not a call to simply return to the way things were – it is the opposite. It is a call to choose differently when you have the chance.
But will you choose differently?
I help people connect to their Soul’s Purpose and live a life that embodies their calling. I love what I do and when I see the transformation that is possible, I am honoured to do this work.
But even now, when the Universe has sent us a very clear message that life is short and you need to choose wisely, I can see people are still choosing to stay stuck and will no doubt, make the same choices when lockdown is over.
Many are chafing under the current restrictions yet refusing to use this time to reassess what is really important to them. I see others still hesitating to back themselves and continuing to turn their backs on a life that would provide them with more personal joy and satisfaction. I watch others continue to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and stifling.
This period had been incredibly difficult but if you don’t choose differently when it’s over, then you’re missing the opportunity of a lifetime. You will pass over the chance to step into something greater and far more fulfilling than you’ve had before. Now is not the time to chicken out and continue accepting that you can’t have what you really want. Now is the time to do the work on yourself, face your shadows, call on your personal courage and step forward.
The uncomfortable understandings that are bubbling up within you aren’t supposed to be shoved back into a box when all this is over. Instead they are here to show you where you are out of alignment with your purpose. They are showing you there is another way if only you will choose it.
Now is the time to leave behind those patterns and situations that no longer fit you and choose to reset your life – leave that relationship, do that course, apply for the job you really want, start your business on the side, invest in yourself, change your career, write that book and create the art you love.
Make a clear and definite decision right now to not go back to the old normal. Instead consciously choose to move into alignment with who you truly are and what will make you happy. Make the tough choices, back yourself and if you need support to traverse the road ahead, find someone like me to walk beside you and help you find your way.
Because the very worst thing you could do, is go back to a normal that was never what you wanted anyway.
A while ago, someone said I was brave to go my own way and not have children when society puts so much pressure on women to do so. She met her comment sincerely but I soon disabused her of the notion that I had made my decision as a form of conscious rebellion against the establishment.
I am a feminist certainly and proud that I don’t fit into the traditional female mode. But I did want children once.
I was married to a man in my 20s but I never wanted them with him.
Then in my 30s I found myself single by choice and occasionally yes, I did think about it but not in any way that I was willing to take concerted action on.
A couple of months shy of my 42nd birthday, I met a man I truly thought was the one – the one for me. I fell completely in love. He was younger and it soon became clear that not having children was a deal breaker for him. He wanted them but at that point in the relationship, I wasn’t sure.
We took two weeks apart for me to work things out. He didn’t want either of us to see anyone else during that time. He said he loved me. He said he was devastated and didn’t know what to do.
I saw a powerful energy healer during that break and through that work I quickly realised I wanted children. I wanted them very much and I wanted them with the man I loved.
Imagine my surprise when I conveyed this news to him and he didn’t believe me. He knew me to be a woman who didn’t lie and yet, he said he couldn’t believe it. He said, “Even if you mean it now, how do I know you won’t change your mind later.”
He ended it and I never saw him again.
He never acknowledged me again. It was as if I no longer breathed. Perhaps I had never really existed at all for him. He certainly found it very easy to deny any love he had felt for me.
I fell into an abyss of grief that took years to recover from. I was suicidal at one point with feelings of loss so deep I thought there was no bottom to the well I was drowning in. I just kept sinking.
Eventually, I did float to the surface and find my feet in the shallows again. But by then it was too late for children. My fertility ship had already drawn anchor and wind was filling its sails. I wasn’t in a position to do it alone financially and I didn’t want to do it without the one I loved anyway. So that was that.
Later I asked a powerful psychic why the Universe would treat me so cruelly. Why would she finally give me the understanding I wanted children of my own at such an age only to rip that possibility from my hands.
She said I had needed the healing to unleash my creativity – a woman’s creativity is born from her womb and the energy healing I’d done had cleared the blockages. I could not do what I’m here to do, create what I am here to create, write my books and so on, without that shift occurring.
I don’t mind telling you, the whole thing seemed very cruel indeed. And I was not gracefully accepting in the face of it. I raged at the light.
But the creativity surely did flow more strongly after that. I wrote extensively about the relationship and break-up in prose before being called back to write it in poetry, of all things. More than 230 poems resulted, all written within about a year. I was on the edge of publishing that work when Corona hit. The Universe has her own timing in mind again it seems.
Someone asked the other day how I get along with my Spirit Guides. The truth is, I’ve had a troubled relationship with them at times. They guided me back to that man twice when I thought about leaving, before I got in too deep emotionally. But they urged me to return. I know now he and I had unfinished business from several past lives and the unleashing of my creativity was all part of the plan in this one.
In my darker moments at the time I wasn’t always grateful for that.
Our guides are here to look after our best interests and help us to learn what our Souls are here to learn. Through that relationship I learned I was clairaudient, I learned I could remotely view someone without even trying. I learned there is no stronger psychic connection than between two people who are bound through the heart. I learned I have the ability to see past lives and see those same patterns repeating in this one.
I learned that Souls have free will as well as lessons to be learned. So you can only plot your way forward with the knowledge you have in this moment until something or someone chooses something different.
None of it makes sense and yet it also makes perfect sense too.
As a psychic channel I feel things deeply and that isn’t always easy. I also see a lot more than sometimes others would like because I can’t simply turn away from a Soul’s truth when I see it in front of me. This makes it difficult for people to be around me if they wish to hide from themselves.
When I help people by using my gifts whether it’s a friend struggling with a problem or a client struggling with direction, I always come back to one inescapable thing – what does their Soul want to do? What is their truth? And then how can we peel back all the stories and energetic blocks that get in the way of it.
It’s powerful work and people need to be ready for it. But, oh, when they are, that is when the magic happens because anything is possible.
In past lives I have been burned at the stake, pursued, murdered and lived in fear of my gifts. In this lifetime, I have walked through metaphorical fires many times when it comes to the truth and my psychic gifts.
Nothing happens by mistake. There are no coincidences and it was no coincidence that I met that man all those years ago. It was no accident that he broke me in fundamental ways so I could rebuild myself in a different form.
It was no mistake that my creativity has flourished since.
Whatever challenge you’re facing right now, it is not a mistake. It is part of your lesson. A lesson your Soul signed up for.
If you need help to navigate your way forward, get in touch. You don’t have to do it alone, I’ve been there and I know the road out.
If you’ve found this post then you’re someone who wants to create change in the world. You want to live differently to the way your parents and other people you know have lived. You have a vision or maybe just an inkling of doing things differently.
Have you ever shared your desire, your dream, your vision with someone you thought would have your back? Maybe you opened up just a little and trusted them.
You wanted their support and understanding but instead, all you heard was something like:
“Oh look that sounds a bit like a dream to me and not very realistic”
“I really think you need to be a bit more practical”
“I think that’s something you can do on the side. But for now you should finish your degree and get a really good job”
“We never had these opportunities when we were young and we wanted to make sure that you have them. So don’t waste them. Get a good job and get paid well. Forget all that other stuff because it’s not very realistic. Just go out and achieve, achieve, achieve.” (This may come from your parents if they didn’t have a lot of opportunities.)
When you get this type of negative or “realistic” feedback about what you want to create, it can be really hard to keep your focus and maintain your faith in your ability to make your dreams real.
But there are things you can do to make sure their stories and negative feedback doesn’t take you off track and stop you from living your purpose.
Understand their response is about THEIR STORY NOT YOURS.
We all tell ourselves stories about what is possible and what is not. These are based on our experiences, beliefs and interactions with others.
But if you share your desire or dream with someone and their story negatively influences their response, you potentially enter a danger zone. If you are not feeling really grounded and centred in yourself, you will take their story on as your truth. This is dangerous for you because it’s not the truth. It is just a story they believe and they are projecting it onto you.
It’s possible their dreams were squashed when they were young and they lost hope that they could do anything different. This led them to conform and do what their parents, community and friends wanted them to do. So your idea to do something that bucks the system will confront their beliefs and the story they’ve been telling themselves about what their life can, could or should be.
I’m not trying to invalidate their perspectives because those experiences will be real for them. But that’s their story, NOT YOURS. You’re here to create your own story.
Yes, you need to be able to support yourself financially, look after and be responsible for yourself. But that doesn’t mean you have to live the same kind of life that other people think you should live.
ALL OR NOTHING THINKING can stop you before you start
Sometimes we also have all or nothing thinking and this stops us from moving forward. You will be worrying that if you make the wrong decision now, you might screw everything up. This leaves you feeling indecisive and sometimes you avoid making any decisions at all.
But whatever you’re doing when you’re aged 20, 22, 25, 27, etcetera, YOU WON’T BE DOING THOSE THINGS IN ANOTHER 10 YEARS. Nothing stays the same for that long so you’re better off taking a chance in this moment, doing what feels right for you and moving forward. Otherwise you will be waiting for the perfect time and a guaranteed outcome (neither of these exist!!).
One particular decision is rarely going to make or break your entire life. Waiting for other people to “get it”, and understand and support your decisions is also wasting time.
If other people don’t agree with your life choices, that is not your problem.
Yes, we all want people to like us. But you cannot put yourself into a box to help other people feel more comfortable with their life choices. That’s not your job.
What other people think of you is none of your business. You need to focus on what you think of you!
Focus on what you feel is the next right step for you and trust yourself. When you do that, you are moving forward with your life purpose and life path. You will meet other people along the way who will get what you are trying to do. They will understand what you’re trying to create and will support you. But there will be others who will test your faith in yourself.
You need to make the best decision for you right now and understand that not everyone is going to agree with you, and that’s okay. Sure, sit back and question yourself a little but then ask yourself “Okay, what feels like the right thing for me?” then follow that and know it’s all going to work out. It probably won’t look like you think it will – life never works out the way we think it should. But it’s going to work out beautifully and in the best possible way for you.
If you’re ready to follow your dreams and create the life your Soul is calling out for, check out the Dream Creators Collective – an intensive six-week transformational process for intuitives, empaths and energetically-sensitive people who are ready to create change and serve humanity.
If you are sick of feeling like you’re not enough…if you’re tired of the BS…if you’re done with that annoying voice in your head that keeps making excuses and says you can’t or you shouldn’t, then the Dream Creators Collectiveis for you.
It’s for people who are ready to get serious, develop epic self-trust and harness their intuition so they can get out there and create change in the world.
The Dream Creators Collectiveis about learning practical skills to help you manage overwhelm and move you forward, managing and using your intuitive gifts, exploring your passions, living your purpose and connecting with yourself and others.
The six-week transformational process starts in early December 2019. Limited spaces.
Are you doing a university degree that you don’t really like or staying in a job that you don’t really care about? Maybe you want to travel but you’re too afraid to go alone.
Well, this week I heard from a former work colleague who was a lot like you are now. But guess what?! He’s just decided to blow his comfort zone out of the water.
Like a lot of 20-somethings, he has a huge amount of potential but he was stuck in his comfort zone and kept waiting for someone else to join him so he could begin his adventures. Until now.
A few days ago, he sent me a PM which said:
“…You implored me to stop trying to wait for other people and just get out there regardless if they come with you or not. Well, I decided to up and go on a holiday by myself to Bali, because no one else could get time off and I wanted to go…”
Receiving this kind of message makes my day, month and year because he has chosen to bust through his comfort zone and do what he really wants without waiting for someone else. And his life and perspectives will expand exponentially because he has chosen to move past his comfort zone into the unknown.
A few days ago, a fabulous 20-something friend sent me a PM with exciting news – an international organisation had seen her commentary online about an issue she is passionate about and were interested in partnering with her. They even wanted her to write a blog for them.
My amazing friend was OVER THE MOON.
This inspirational woman is not just a great friend. She has also been a client over the past few years and we have talked many times about putting herself out there. I’ve always known she is here to create some wonderful changes in the world but she has often hesitated to share her voice and opinions.
LOTS OF 20-SOMETHINGS HIDE THEIR LIGHT because…
You think other people can say it better
You’re worried about offending people (i.e. you want everyone to like you)
Your parents/friends/family/strangers on the street won’t agree with you, “get it” or will think you’re crazy
You think you’re not good enough
You think no one really cares what you think
Et cetera, et cetera.
Does this sound like you? If so, trust me, you are not alone AT ALL. But I have to tell you something…it’s all BS!! All those stories you’ve been telling yourself about why you can’t do what you want, say what you want, be who you want and go where you want to go are NOT TRUE.
You are capable of creating a world that is more kind, more sustainable, more creative, more loving, more expansive, more everything that you believe is important BUT you will have to show your light first. You will have to put yourself out there, back yourself, take risks, be by yourself for a while, take the road less travelled, be the one dissenting voice in the crowd, be okay with people thinking you’re crazy, be okay with offending people.
If you want a different life, you must change you first. You must take your passions and channel them into things that you love, and then share them with the world so others can hear your voice. Just like my friend, you will have to feel a little bit nervous, terrified and excited all at the same time. And then you will need to begin.
Because if you hide your light, no one can see it. And the world needs to see it. Trust me.
I took my book and made my way into the backyard this afternoon. The sun in Brisvegas is unseasonably warm and being a girl who loves the heat, I was keen to make the most of it.
My backyard includes a pool, thick green grass and a view of the river. But it hasn’t always been this way.
A few weeks ago, I left my home of 13 years to move here. It was a big choice to sell my house and I’m still feeling the reverberations of that choice, even now. My life is different now. The way I live is different now. And the space I inhabit within the world has changed.
It always intrigues me how when we change one thing in our lives, things change around us too. When we shift so does our energy and those ripples inexorably spread out into the world affecting our relationship with others and indeed, our relationship with ourselves.
Change one thing and many things change. Change a lot of things and you can imagine the impact is little more significant.
For me, my recent big change has led me to see much of my life through a different lens. I feel freer because in many ways I am starting anew. How I interact with strangers has shifted too. I am more open and I find myself feeling even more curious about the human condition. I observe more, feel more. Certainly my psychic channel feels much stronger, more attuned and more powerful than it has been.
My house was a home and a refuge. But eventually it became a place where I felt stuck and hidden from the world. Perhaps it was also a symbol of a life I thought I would once have that never eventuated.
So now I’m here.
As I sat beside the pool, relaxing in the sun, I found myself asking that question we frequently ask when seeking clarity about our next steps and where we want to go:
“If you could do anything, what would you do?”
As I rolled the question around in my head, I realised something that had never really cut-through my psyche before. I had asked the wrong question. The real question is:
“You can do anything so what are you going to do first and when are you going to do it?”
The second question is the true question and I laughed at myself when I realised it.
So many of the reasons we give ourselves for not doing what we truly want are mere excuses. They may be very reasonable and logical excuses but they are excuses just the same.
And when we start the discussion from a place of restriction with a focus on perceived obstacles, we cut ourselves off at the knees even before we start the race.
I was sitting there in that beautiful setting because I made some difficult but necessary decisions to change my life. To be honest, the Universe in many ways brought me to metaphorical knees before I would make those decisions, but I still made them. And I don’t regret them for one minute. Because once you let go of what you ‘think’ your life should look like as you move towards your goals, you allow whole new perspectives to show up that will take you to places you never expected to go (and sometimes resist visiting) and soon after you will realise you are exactly where you need to be.
I never thought I would end up living somewhere like this, but it’s perfect. So as I settle in, I now know what question I should really be asking.