Enough is enough

I know a lot of women who have experienced domestic violence from a male partner during their lifetime. This thought came to me abruptly this morning and it’s not something I’ve realised before.

How is that even possible?

I live in Australia, an ostensibly advanced and free country, yet so many women I know have been affected by this scourge.

Some have fled their homes, their state or even the country to escape their abusers. Restraining orders abound. The courts and the police are often helpful but sometimes their assistance isn’t enough.

The women I’m talking about have sometimes been abused in an overtly physical way – raped, punched or bruised – making it easier to provide evidence to the authorities. But often the abuse is far more insidious and delivered through denigrating commentary and gaslighting that makes women doubt their every move and feel they have to report back to their partner constantly.

How is this still happening?

I am a feminist but I don’t believe all men are the enemy. I know many good, strong, kind men.

Yet, there are men who are inflicting this violence so those individuals are to blame. Men need to stop trying to control women. Men need to understand that women are equal and to be respected and that we are not just an extension of you. Men need to know that no means no, and to respect that always.

Fathers need to teach their sons these lessons strongly and model them clearly. Mothers need to teach their sons that they are not the centre of the universe and women are not mere appendages to bend to their will and keep them happy at all costs. All girls need to be taught they are entitled to be treated with respect at all times and they (and their bodies) are not a possession for any man.

Men need to call out their male colleagues, friends and strangers on abusive behaviours and make it clear it’s not acceptable. Women need to say to other women, I can see you’re struggling, you deserve better, what support can I provide you?

And we all need to get off the fence and stop excusing actions when our gut instincts tell us that those actions are wrong. No more hiding behind, “Oh, it’s their private business” or “Maybe I’m misinterpreting the situation so I better keep my mouth shut.” No more of that.

 It’s time to turn the tide so we can all live in a world where domestic violence is a rare exception, not a commonplace distraction on the nightly news.

Enough is enough.

Procrastination…fear, foe or laziness?

Sometimes we procrastinate on things because we really don’t want to do them. But more often than not, I see amazingly talented women procrastinating about the one thing they really want. They will be incredibly focused and dynamic in other areas of their life – family, friends, work, university, etc. But somehow they keep procrastinating on the ONE THING THEY REALLY WANT TO ACHIEVE/DO/BE/CREATE.

A lot of people dismiss procrastination as “laziness” and “lack of focus”. But is there something more formidable lying underneath?

The reason for this is fear. Fear of standing out, fear of failure, fear of what people might think, the “Who do I think I am?” story playing in our heads and the negative self-talk.

Sound familiar?

Then of course, you don’t do the thing your really want and berate yourself because you didn’t do it! And so the cycle continues and it’s no fun.

The next time you procrastinate about something I recommend you pause for a moment and ask yourself, “What is the real reason I am not moving forward?” Thank your mind for its opinionated and somewhat negative perspectives then put them to one side, and tune into your inner voice instead. Intuitively, you will know the real answer.

Our awareness of the patterns that are holding us back is the first step towards breaking them. If you’re ready to take action and move forward then check out Nights for Spiritual Beginners. You will learn how to tune into your intuition, kick your indecision to the kerb and get yourself on-track so you can Live Your Soul’s Mission, Create Change and Serve Humanity.

Doors are now open for the next program beginning in early January 2019. Spaces are limited so stop procrastinating, take action and get ready to step into a life that lights your up! Email lucretia@lucretiaswords.com for more details.