Have you ever noticed how the things you want to get away from, will keep following you? No matter how many times you swear, “I’m never going to be in this situation again!” you will somehow find yourself back there for another round. It could be your new partner sucks you into a dysfunctional relationship (just like the last one!) or you get a new job and the work never really feels fulfilling (just like the last one!).

Often these patterns will jump across various parts of our lives. You have a boss who bullies you and a family member and a boyfriend who does the same? What a coincidence.

But the truth is, it’s not a coincidence. Unfortunately. And when you realise that you are  the common denominator in all these repeating situations, you also have to face another crushing truth – you need to change something in you to break the repeating patterns in your life.

In my case, does that mean I deserved to be disrespected by men repeatedly in the past? Um, no.

Does that mean I deserved to have bosses who bullied me overtly and covertly? No.

But it sure as heck meant that I needed to do something differently to stop it from happening again.

As you become more self-aware and self-accountable, these types of realisations are difficult to avoid along with the understanding that, despite all the red flags, we still rush headlong into the very situations we want to avoid – until we change something in us.

In my case, I dealt with a repeating pattern by learning how to set healthy boundaries and then maintain them. I won’t say it was easy (actually it was kind of scary for me) but once I did it a few times the pattern stopped.

I still have other patterns to deal with (we all do) but once you can identify them, develop an effective strategy to do something differently, then implement it consistently, the pattern stops being an issue.

I confess this all sounds fine and very practical but it is also incredibly annoying because I can’t play the victim for long periods of time anymore. After all, you can’t be a victim if you played a role in putting yourself there in the first place.

Drat!

As you grow in self-awareness you have to deal with your ‘stuff’ and it’s not always fun or comfortable. But it’s the trade-off we make if we want to evolve and, in my case, break a pattern of bullies and dysfunctional relationships.

If you’re ready to break free from the patterns that have been holding you back for too long, check out my Nights for Spiritual Beginners – six powerful nights over six weeks to help you kick your indecision and self-doubt to the kerb, connect to your intuitive power and insight, and step forward confidently so you can live your Soul’s Mission. Email me to find out more>>

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Photo by Seth Macey on Unsplash

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