People often ask me, “Why Italy?” They wonder why I return to a place where I have no relatives or ancestral connection and where I barely speak the language. I understand their perplexity. This is my sixth visit to Bella Italia and I am still unsure why I am called back.
I know, of course, that I have spent past lives in this country. My feelings of comfort here cannot be denied. My psychic sensibilities also seem heightened as I feel a knowing about places I have never visited before. Last year, an old castle on the beautiful island of Ischia draped its tentacles around me and left me with a sense of unease as I climbed an ancient path to its peak. In centuries past it housed a religious order where nuns, once dead, were left to rot in the chairs where they sat as a constant reminder to others of mortality. I felt as if I had been there before and, with such a horrible history, is it any wonder that my soul did not wish to be there again?
While that experience left me discomfited, I’ve had far more visceral and emotional reactions to this place. Many years ago, while watching a movie filmed in Genoa, I burst into uncontrollable sobbing as the main character began driving through the city streets. It made little sense as I’ve never visited the city nor have I been drawn to go. However, a wise friend described my reaction as pure longing for somewhere I once knew and I confess a deeper knowledge that I know she was right.
That same uncontrolled reaction made a second appearance earlier this year as I drove to the train station. It was like any other morning and I was on my way to an intense but rewarding job in my hometown of Brisbane. As I drove down a simple street the words, “I just want to go home” sprang unbidden from my mouth and short bout of sobbing ensued.
Although I was technically in my home – Brisbane is where I have been raised and lived most of my life – the longing I felt was for Italy. My knowing of this fact was unavoidable and incontrovertible. My soul was calling for its home on the other side of the planet.
My psychic friends point out that with a name like Lucretia (a moniker that is very Italian in its origins), my connection to this land is unsurprising.
When I ‘jokingly’ provide the ‘past lives’ reason for my repeated return, some people look at me oddly and laugh a little nervously. They think (or hope) that I’m joking. If you have not experienced past life connections or have no understanding of the concept, I no doubt seem a little crazy.
Past life connections in this life are often typified by a strong compulsion to be around particular people, places or things. They can also be marked by a strong revulsion or desire to avoid them. Other times we may feel that we already know them.
It can all be a little disconcerting and, at its most uncomfortable, can lead you to play out past life patterns that are certainly not in your best interests in this lifetime (but that is a story for another day).
For me, my greatest longing is for a place and that place is Italy. It has been this country for most of my adult life and ultimately I wish to split my time between here and my birth country of Australia. Both are my home (for different reasons).
Certainly my calling back this year has been compelling and caused me a significant amount of anxiety and stress as, repeatedly, my departure date was deferred due to finances, commitments and other circumstances. I willfully dismissed a vision I had earlier this year of a ticket marked with the date 30 September because it did not align with my desire to visit Italy during the mid-semester break. Yet strangely, the flight was ultimately 30 September (much to my annoyance and chagrin). This also aligned with advice from my Spirit Guides who said I may not get ‘there’ until September. Needless to say, I was supremely unhappy with their suggestion and fought that outcome every step of the way.
But the Universe has her own plan and it can be resisted but rarely thwarted.
As I write this post, I am perched on a brick wall outside my apartment in Assisi. I’ll be here three nights before heading to a destination as yet unknown. Intuitively I have been guided to spend two nights in Rome and three here. My channel is wide open to guidance regarding my next stop but the information hasn’t dropped in. So my next move is a ‘wait and see’.
This is not my first visit to this small hill town and it won’t be my last. I don’t feel a past life connection here; it’s more of a spiritual one. During my first trip around 13 years ago, I cried at least three times within 24 hours. It wasn’t longing back then. Instead it was a feeling of spiritual connection that I couldn’t describe. As someone who had until that point declared herself agnostic and atheist at various times, and with no catholic upbringing, it seemed unusual to have such a strong emotional response to the home of Saint Francis and a place of great pilgrimage. Yet the spirit of the place enveloped me and I experienced a great sense of peace and release.
If you were passing by right now and asked me “Why Italy?’ my answer would be as follows. “It is because I am called to be here. It is because my soul belongs here and right now, it is the place I feel is home. I have lived past lives here and there is part of this life to be lived here too. There are things I must do here; things I must create that are part of my purpose.”
Does this answer satisfy you, dear reader? If not, I apologise for I have no other response to give and certainly no more clarity to offer. Perhaps in coming days there will be answers for this visit. Explanations that make more sense to the reasoning mind. But for now, in its simplest form, the answer is that although my past lives have called me back and my future has called me forward, the destination for both is Italy.
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