When I look back on my life I can see that I’ve often chosen the path less travelled. I’ve certainly taken risks that many viewed as foolhardy, ill-conceived, naïve and yes, selfish. If my life was an apple cart then I’ve definitely tipped it over a lot.
But my risks haven’t been physical. I’ve never jumped out of a plane and you won’t see me doing that anytime soon. It’s just not my thing to put my body in harm’s way.
My risks have been emotional and intuitive in nature.
On my 44th birthday last year, a friend posted a meme to my Facebook page that read ‘She could never remember if it was better to be safe or sorry’ and that certainly is an accurate portrayal of who I am. Certainly my choices over the years have frequently not been ‘safe’ ones.
In my mid/late 20s I left a solid permanent job where I was miserable to try the uncertainty of contract work. In my early 30s I left what many viewed as a perfectly good long-term relationship (15 years) with a good man (who everyone loved) because I wanted to expand and, although we tried, he and I couldn’t do that together.
Fast forward a few more years and, on the eve of my 39th birthday, I took a redundancy from a highly-paid government job so I could teach part-time at university and write the draft for my first book. I didn’t have any real plan for after that. In the process I also went through a massive psychic awakening and since then, I’ve talked openly about that AND now base my business around my special skills in that area (yep, that’s right, I’m a psychic and, among other things, sometimes I see dead people, spirit guides and I can feel what’s going on for you).
I recognise my choices are not the ‘safe’ ones that many would choose. And I have no judgement around that. After all, we all must choose our own path to walk. And my path is certainly unique to me.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of it, it’s this: when you make the choices that feel right for you, when you take the path less-travelled because your soul is crying out for it, then massive transformation occurs that takes you to places you never dreamed were possible. In fact, my choices have taken me to places I didn’t even know existed.
I won’t lie and say it’s been easy. I also know it isn’t over yet either. My life seems to have a trajectory that’s about taking risks. It seems to be my path to explore and yes, be pushed by the Universe to transform over and over again. Transformation of self seems to be part of my soul’s calling. Just when I get comfortable something happens or I’ll have a moment of clarity that makes it untenable for me to stay where I am. The Universe forces me to jump into the abyss and hope that I will be caught before I hit bottom or at least be able to grab a tree root as I fly down the side of the cliff where I’ll hang on for dear life while working out my next move.
When I look back over the last two decades I can see my transformations have been the result of the risks I have chosen to take. They have often (particularly when it comes to men) involved following my heart (this hasn’t always gone too well for me…read my book The Men I’ve Almost Dated for more on that). But more and more, my risks have been about following my intuition. My intuition always knows the right way to go.
Like a lot of people, my ego sometimes gets in the way of my intuition too. This means it’s easier for me to help and see the way for others because my ego isn’t invested in the outcome. But that’s a subject for another blog (or ten).
My friend Kelly* said recently that, of all her friends, I am the one who has transformed the most. We first met when I was in my mid 20s and she said, way back then, she always felt like there was more beneath my rather uptight exterior.
She was right.
Kelly’s words were a great compliment. I am so very different from that young woman back then. And I am proud of myself for the transformations I have made since then.
When Kelly met me, I didn’t know how to tune into me. I didn’t know how to really trust myself. No one had ever shown me how to do it. I didn’t even understand the concept. Instead, I looked to other people for guidance about what was best for me ALL THE TIME. I was judgemental of people who weren’t doing things in the ‘mainstream’ way because all I wanted to do was be taken seriously and be accepted by other people. Conformity and sensible shoes were my go-to life choices.
But it was when I started to make different choices and break away from the restrictions I’d placed on my own life that I began to transform. It was then that my world began to expand. I learned I had depths I didn’t know existed. I learned I had a capacity for growth and rebirth that was epic. I learned that I didn’t need to be so hard on myself (although sometimes I still am).
I also learned that, even if other people didn’t approve of or like my decisions, I would still be okay.
When people come to me now and say they don’t know if they can make the changes they need to in their lives or they don’t think they are strong enough, I often pause for a moment and reflect on the young person I used to be. Then I say, ‘If I can do it, you can too.’
Because while I certainly don’t consider myself to be ‘ordinary’, I am a human being just like anyone else. And my personal experiences have shown me that massive transformation of self is possible when you choose it and you allow it. In fact, sometimes it occurs even when you resist it every single step of the way.
Transformation is a gift. Sometimes it will make you struggle. Sometimes it will challenge you and push you to your limits. However, ultimately, it will expand your world and you in ways you cannot imagine.
Transformation will allow your soul to sing. It will help ensure you reach the end of your days knowing you have created the life you craved.
It can and will spark your fears. It will make some people pull away and judge you. It will also bring others close and invite new experiences and wonderful growth.
Transformation is what we are here for. Without it we are just mice on the wheels, endlessly running in the same direction.
My transformations will continue and my risks will too. Yours don’t have to be as radical (unless you desire it) or perhaps yours will be more extreme. The choices are yours to make. But if you are teetering on the edge of stepping into your risk; if you are hesitating to follow the desires held in your soul, always remember this…
Transformation is the key to life.
And, if I can do it, you can too.