rescueHave you ever looked at a friend in trouble and thought, ‘If only they’d do X and Y, they’d be okay’ or watched someone you care about go down a self-destructive path repeatedly, no matter how many people advise them to go another way?

I think every one of us has had that experience and it’s difficult to be that person on the sidelines, watching someone play the game of life in what we believe is the ‘wrong way’. It’s hard to watch them create situations that will hurt themselves, often over and over again.

Sometimes you might try to save them from their ‘mistake’. You’ll throw on your armour, mount your white horse and ride to the rescue, sweeping them up and away from danger only to find they create the same situation for themselves within days or weeks.

Other times your frustration will take over; you’ll feel angry and watch incredulously as, despite warnings, clear directions and sound advice, they will continue down the same self-destructive path regardless.

Why do they keep doing this, you’ll ask time and time again. You’ll feel powerless and will struggle with that feeling. I’ve often struggled with it because, like most people, my first instinct is to help and protect the people I care about.

But often you’re not supposed to fix the situation or ride in to save the day. And, as your self-awareness increases, so too will your understanding that everyone has their journey and their own lessons to learn. You cannot save others from themselves and frequently, they will need to learn their lessons the hard way – just as you have.

It will be difficult to stand back and let them get on with it. However, sometimes it will be your role to simply witness their journey and be there when they come out the other side having learned the lessons they needed to learn.

Because in the end we must all choose to save and rescue ourselves. No one else can do it for us.