Sometimes the idea of looking too closely at ourselves can feel daunting or even a little scary. We worry about what we might find if we pull back the curtain of our soul. Will there be something there we don’t want to see? A truth we cannot un-see or avoid. Will it be something that others don’t like? Or, will there be nothing in there at all?
This last one was my biggest fear a few years ago. It was early in the psychic awakening process for me and boy oh boy, was the Universe pushing me to shift forward big-time. With awareness comes this undeniable and somewhat unavoidable arrangement with your soul and the Universe to expand your consciousness and follow your soul’s calling. In this case, I was being called to look closely at some of the crap that had been holding me back for far too long. I was being called to connect to my soul in a very real and intimate way. I was being called to go deep.
I was terrified. My good friend Samantha* was helping me through the emotional speed bumps and asked me at the time, ‘What are you afraid of?’
‘What if I ‘go there’ and there’s nothing inside?’ I said. I’m sure there was desperation dripping from every word. ‘What if there’s nothing in there?’
‘Of course there’s something in there,’ she said. ‘You’re in there.’
Phew. I’m so glad she offered me those words at that moment. Those simple words helped me gather up my courage close to my chest and shortly afterwards, I made the time to sit quietly with myself and ask my soul what it wanted.
And I, of course, discovered that my soul was there the whole time; not so quietly waiting for me to connect. I discovered there was no empty void within me. Instead there was so much depth, love and things to be discovered and learned. I’m still learning those things now. Every day or week or month there is another layer to me that I peel away to discover more.
I’m not sure if this is helpful for you. Perhaps you have no fear of what lies within you?
Yet I have spoken my friend Samantha’s* words to many clients and friends since they were first told to me. And I know they have provided comfort and enabled many of them to discover their own courage and begin traveling the road to their soul connection.
It seems to me there is the duality of fear when it comes to looking too closely at ourselves and what we truly desire. Our somewhat merciless, protective egoic mind splits down the middle and says either, ‘Don’t go there, it will be too much, you won’t be able to cope with the fall out’ or ‘Who are you kidding? There is nothing within. You don’t need to look behind the curtain to confirm it.’
Many of us will remain, some of us for a lifetime, sitting on the knife-edge between the two, slowly but surely splitting ourselves down the middle.
Such is the power of our fear of change.
But if there is one thing I know, it is this. And I know it with every fibre of my spiritual being.
If you choose to go deep within yourself, connect to your soul and uncover your true desires, you will discover something incredible. You will discover a depth in yourself you didn’t know existed.
You will discover that behind the curtain you are keeping so tightly closed, is something so magical and beautiful that it should never be hidden.
Because that ‘something’ currently hidden, is the very essence of you.
That is one thing I know to be true.
Lucretia Ackfield is a writer and transformational teacher. If you’re interested in expanding your self-awareness, connecting to your soul and owning your intuitive power, check out her Facebook group Rock Your Inner Channel.