Are your emotions making you physically sick?

Many years ago my Dad suffered a minor heart attack and, as we sat in a curtained cubicle in the Emergency Department, the doctor came by to chat to us about what was next. During that conversation he talked about the causes of heart attacks. He even spoke about how some people literally have their heart broken by grief or loss and experience heart problems as a result.
I found it fascinating that a medical professional would openly acknowledge that our emotions can create such a strong physical response in our bodies.
I can totally relate to what the doctor was saying to me, and I’m not alone. Practitioners such as Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life) have written extensively about how our physical ailments are often a manifestation of our emotional states and the way we view our world (and ourselves).
Often the emotions we carry forward with us from the past into our present are “negative” such as grief, loss, sadness, rage, disappointment and anger. I’ve placed “negative” in inverted commas because although these are normal and very human emotions, we are often conditioned to see them as being negative and discouraged from owning or openly expressing them. This is particularly true for many women who are brought up to be ‘nice girls’ and therefore taught to push down and repress these emotions instead of owning and expressing them in healthy ways. It certainly doesn’t encourage women to process their emotions and associated challenges in ways that empower them to move forward and, in essence.

It is only by truly owning and acknowledging all the parts of ourselves (including the more “negative” parts) that we can truly claim our power and step into the expansiveness that is possible for us to experience. Unexpressed emotions lead to constriction and yes, sometimes resulting physical and mental ailments that restrict us further.

For those of us who highly empathic and consequently feeling lots of emotions a lot of the time (often from other people), suppressing what we truly feel is not a recipe for success.

It’s important to find safe ways to release the emotions from past experiences from our bodies in order to be healthy. Clearing out our emotional junk may take time but it is definitely a worthwhile exercise.

I’ve found letter writing to be a successful and cost-free way to release my emotions from the past. It’s as easy as picking up a pen and some paper, finding a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed, then writing Dear [name of the person who has made you feel angry, sad, etc.] and writing whatever comes to mind without editing your words, judging yourself or even thinking about it too much. During the writing process I encourage you to be ruthlessly honest with the person about how you feel. DO NOT HOLD BACK!!! Remember, this is your time to own and fully express how you feel.

When you’ve finished writing, don’t read the letter (because the whole idea is to purge the emotions out of you rather than suck them back in). Simply dispose of it in a way that feels right to you. For example, you might shred it into little pieces, burn it or bury it in the garden. And while you do this, I invite you say “I release you, I release you, I release you” so the Universe knows that it is time to take all those emotions and energy from you.

Of course, I know that many of you might feel tempted to send the letter to the person has upset you. After all, you want them to know what they’ve done and how they’ve made you feel…right?

Actually, if you do that you are completely giving your power away (and that defeats the purpose of this exercise). The whole point of writing this letter, just for you and owning your emotions then releasing them, is to help you reclaim your power and  equilibrium so you can move forward freely. The minute you give that letter to the other person, you make the process about them, not you. So don’t give it to them. Instead, claim this as your moment to acknowledge and release emotions that are keeping you stuck so you can move forward feeling lighter and more free than before.

Lucretia Ackfield is a psychic channel and author who helps women reconnect to intuitive power and manage their psychic gifts so they can fully live their Purpose, create Positive Change on the Planet and Serve Humanity.

Is it time to create the life you really want?

Is it time to create the life you really want?

‘Maybe I’m just not meant to be happy.’

These words were uttered by a friend a few years ago. She felt like she was in a no-win situation and had to choose a path she didn’t want to choose in order to ‘do the right thing’. This ultimately meant keeping the people around her happy while she felt miserable.

Does this sound familiar? How many times have you done that in your life? How many times have you wanted something but realised it would cause waves with other people in your life so instead you stuffed it down inside you and hoped it would go away?

But it didn’t go away, did it? Nope, like a bad case of reflux it keeps coming back up; sticking in your throat, almost making you gag. But you’re determined aren’t you? You’re not going to let it win because if you let it out, you’re going to upset people. You’ll be knocking over the apple cart and everyone else’s apples will go rolling down the hill. You’ll be disruptive. They’ll tell you that you’re selfish. And you want to be a good person don’t you? You want that desperately. You want people to be happy. You want them to like you. You want to do the ‘right thing’.

But I have to tell you sweetheart that it’s not going to work. Because if that thing inside you keeps coming up, if it plagues your mind while you rush around doing everyone else’s bidding, then there’s a reason for it.

And the reason is that you deserve to follow your dreams. You deserve to create whatever is in you to create. And the Universe is not going to let you forget it.

But you have choice. Of course you have a choice. It’s your life.

You can choose to keep pushing down your desires because you’re scared of complicating your world or failing or upsetting people or standing out. You can choose this and know that when you reach the end of your life you will probably regret not taking a chance on yourself. You will regret not believing you could do it.

Or you can decide that you are worthy of living the best possible life you can live. You can decide that you have a right to honour all those unruly desires clamouring in your heart. You can decide that what you want is important enough to acknowledge and begin to create. If you make this choice, the choice that truly speaks to your heart, you can begin to slowly remove the shackles of the past. You can begin to untie all those heavy ropes that bind you to things and people that no longer serve you.

And then my gorgeous friend, you can begin moving towards the magical life that is possible for you; the life that is fulfilling and challenging and uniquely yours. You won’t create it immediately. Truly magnificent creations take time and nurturing. And this one, your creation, your life, must be fertilised with self-awareness, joy, triumph, disruption, failure, terrifying leaps into the unknown, unexpected discoveries and above all, your willingness to learn just how wonderful you are and what you are truly capable of. It will be a lifelong journey.

But I assure you, it will be worth it.

Or you can stay where you are. You can languish in the everyday ordinariness of a life you don’t really want.

The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

Would you like some help to create the life you really want? My Intuition Connection Program or a Clarity Session might be just want you need to get you started.

You have a right to go for what you want

You have a right to go for what you want

If there’s one thing I’ve observed repeatedly as a mentor and just an average person walking around living this life, it’s that people rarely seem to be asked, ‘What do you want?’ or they rarely ask themselves this question. And if they do, they give little credence to the answer they receive from within themselves.

So much of what we’re geared to do and be is about pleasing others: our families, our friends, our bosses, our teachers, our lovers, and the list goes on. Yet surely the question, ‘What do I want?’ should be the most important thing you ask yourself, and ask it regularly.

But I’m not talking about, ‘Do I want pizza or steak for dinner?’ The question I’m talking about is, ‘What does my soul want?’ or even more specifically, ‘What does my heart desire, for me?’

When I ask this question of clients and friends too often the response, ‘I want to do X but…’ and they follow the ‘but’ with a myriad of reasons why they can’t do or have what they want. These range from, ‘It’s too expensive’ and ‘XX would disapprove’ to ‘I could never make money out of it’ or ‘I couldn’t make it work’. Or it’s some kind of other self-restriction we’ve created for ourselves that may appear real but is not real all.

And when I hear these responses, underneath there is the call of a larger truth desperately seeking a way out. It is the heart of that person trying to be heard above self-doubt and pleasing every single other person in your life except for you.

Now we all have responsibilities and yes, we have bills to pay. But please allow yourself the opportunity to ask what you really want and then listen to the answer. I can’t tell you how passionately I feel about this issue and when I see people getting up and doing the same thing repeatedly, that they don’t want to do (professionally or personally) I just think, ‘What is the point of that?’

Everyone single person reading this blog is here to live their purpose and I don’t care what that purpose is because it’s not mine, it’s yours. And if you don’t ask yourself the question, ‘What do I want?’ and listen carefully to the answer, you are missing out on one of your greatest gifts…the capacity in you to create whatever it is that you are here to create.

If listening is the second step, then the third one is taking some kind of action however small, to help move you in the direction you truly desire to go. That might be simply getting up 15 minutes earlier to develop that online course you know people out there need, before you go to work. It might be making sure you take a notebook with you on the train every morning so you can capture those beautiful thoughts about that book that is bursting from within you. Or it might simply be seeking the advice of someone to help you work out how to move forward from that terribly stuck place you find yourself. Perhaps it is as simple as asking for help. Whatever action you take will help you get there. It will help you move closer to what you want. It will help you reach the thing your heart desires.

Of course, there are always going to obstacles – who told you that the act of creating something amazing is easy? It’s not. There are peaks and troughs, lightning and raging seas along the way. But if you remember, ‘This is what I truly want’ and you just keep going you will be amazed at where you end up. It might even be a place you never expected that is so much more wonderful than you ever imagined.

So please, for every single one of you reading this post ask yourself ‘What is it that my heart truly desires?’ Then listen to the answer and take just a single step today towards your goal. You have a purpose and your heart needs you to heed its call. It’s what you were born to do.

What is intuitive mentoring?

What is intuitive mentoring?

‘What is intuitive mentoring?’ I’ve had this question (and a few others) numerous times so I thought I’d write a quick blog today and answer the top five questions about intuition and intuitive mentoring.

  1. What is intuitive mentoring?

Intuitive mentoring is a process designed to help you develop your self-awareness and connect more effectively into your intuition. It is about giving you the tools and techniques that will help you tune into the hints the Universe is sending you. This in turn helps you to trust yourself more and make better decisions in all facets of your life

  1. What is intuition?

Intuition is your inner knowing. You might also know it as your ‘gut feeling’, ‘instinct’ or (in Kath and Kim language) ‘feeling it in my waters’. It is essentially a feeling you get that you cannot explain through any rational thought process. For example, it’s the moment you interview a potential employee and think, ‘There’s something not right here’ although on paper and in every other way they seem perfectly fine. But a few months later, they leave with some of your best clients and you think, ‘Mmm, I should’ve listened to my gut feeling on that one.’

Or it’s when you have the opportunity to develop a new product with someone and the returns seem guaranteed, but something’s telling you it’s off so you decline. Then you find out two months later that the potential business partner has gone bankrupt due to some less than ideal business dealings. That was your intuition warning you to take care.

It can also apply in your personal life with that new man who seems perfect for you in every way but inside there’s this nagging feeling that something’s not quite right. Then you find money is starting to go missing from your purse and a friend shows you that your new partner is still on Tinder. Your intuition was warning you something was off.

  1. Does everyone have intuition?

Yes, we all have intuition but not all us of use it and some of us have developed it more strongly than others. It is something you are born with.

  1. How can I develop my intuition?

Developing your intuition requires you to grow you self-awareness and quiet your mind. This will enable you to tune into your intuition more easily. Your intuition often speaks with a quiet voice and this means you must be able to trust it (i.e. trust yourself) and ensure your brain is quiet enough so you can hear what your intuition is trying to tell you.

  1. How can my intuition help me?

People use their intuition in many ways to help with their business and personal lives. For example, in business it’s particularly useful in helping you to identify growth opportunities and new ways to approach old problems. In your personal life, it can help you to live more in alignment with what you really want to do and who you wish to be rather than being overly influenced by the agendas and beliefs of other people.

If you’d like more information about my intuitive mentoring, personal branding and life purpose programs, check out www.lucretiaswords.com

Are you ‘doing a bush turkey’?

bush turkeyThe intersection outside my university was almost at a standstill this morning but it wasn’t due to the usual peak hour traffic. Instead, at around 7.53am, the cars were slowing to avoid an intrepid bush turkey who’d decided to take that moment to dash across George Street at great personal peril.

The turkey seemed to know where he was heading, kind of, but his route was more than a little random. He set off at rapid sprint from the curb before doubling back, changing direction, stopping, starting, swerving and seeming to change his mind, before moving forward again. He did this several times while the surrounding drivers attempted to avoid turkey carnage and the rest of us watched on, shaking our heads and yes, laughing at his craziness.

That turkey didn’t seem to know what the heck he was doing.

Once he finally made his way to the opposite footpath, he ran headlong into the fence surrounding the botanical gardens (which I presume was his ultimate destination), before doubling back, running a little to the right then the left, then back again before setting off towards the entrance a few metres down. As I passed by, he still hadn’t quite made it and I heard one of the nearby students laughingly say, ‘Those turkeys are soooo stupid.’

The turkey could have taken a direct route across the road. He could’ve waited for the traffic lights and been carried along with the tide of humanity before taking a sharp left turn into the gardens and relative safety. But he didn’t. Instead he didn’t seem to know where he was going. He prevaricated, changed his mind, stopped, started and simply went all over the place in a way that looked quite insane to passersby. His route did not make any sense, and seemed unnecessarily dangerous and time-consuming.

As I walked on to my first class, I laughed a little more to myself when I realised I have also acted like that turkey on a number of occasions. There have been more than a few times in my life when, with a lack of self-belief and no clear direction, I have hurried this way and that in a way that probably seemed mad to the people watching. I would’ve had a goal in mind but I didn’t have a map or a plan on how to get there so I took the most confused road on the way. Most of the time, I eventually got where I wanted to go, but it was not the most seamless or enjoyable journey.

I’ve been observing a friend of mine doing something similar lately and have been shaking my head and thinking, ‘Why doesn’t X just go straight ahead? Can’t they see the signs?’ [It’s funny how life reflects parts of yourself back to you, isn’t it?]

When we don’t have strong self-belief we take longer to get where we want to go because we undermine our choices along the way. We don’t think we deserve that thing we really want so we question ourselves, sometimes seek the conflicting advice of others (which confuses us even more), think we can’t make it, and so on. It makes our journey very challenging, sometimes painful and, to an outsider, we can look a bit like the bush turkey– indecisive, a bit out of control and clueless.

But, here’s what I’ve worked out. Sometimes we just need to believe we deserve what we want, and then we have to go for it. We need to keep that goal clear in our minds and give it everything we’ve got. Backing yourself in this way takes courage but we’ve all got that inside us (even if you’ve buried it for years and years, you can still dig it out if you’re determined). Once you believe you deserve something, a lot of the angst disappears. You will of course have moments of doubt on the road but they won’t derail you and you’ll be less likely to put yourself in dangerous (mental or emotional) situations because you will be clear on what is best for you. Your progress will be a lot less traumatic as a result.

I think the turkey this morning had his goal in mind but his internal monologue was probably something like this…

‘There it is, that’s where I want to go. But, hang on, I can’t. There’s too much in the way.

‘Ooops, sorry, didn’t mean to get in your way. Sorry to inconvenience you. Yes, I know you really are more important than me. Sorry. Maybe I should go back? Yes, you’re probably right. Sorry. I should just go back where I was.

‘But hang on, there it is. I can see the gate. No. I can’t. I don’t really deserve to be there. But I want it. But…no.

‘Hang on. There’s a gap there. Can I get through? Oops, sorry. They’re laughing at me. I’m such an idiot. Why didn’t I get up earlier when there were less people to see me being such a loser…’

Does any of that sound familiar?

Imagine instead, self-talk that went something like this…

‘Okay. I can see where I want to go and I know I deserve it. I know I’m going to make some mistakes on the way, but that’s okay because I’m human and I’m learning.

‘Now, what’s the best way to get there. Mmm. Okay, don’t panic. I got this. Just need to stay calm. Oops, must remember to wait for the green pedestrian light next time, lesson learned. Time to take a breath over here in this safe spot.

‘Hang on, excuse me, you seem to know where you’re going, can I walk along here with you? Thanks. By the way, can you tell me the best way to get to the gate? Oh, this way? Right. Thanks, have a nice day.’

So, my point is this. Sometimes when we’re working things out, when we doubt ourselves and so on, we can look a bit like a bush turkey. And that’s okay. But maybe next time you could be a little kinder to yourself and use positive self-talk instead of the negative kind to help on your journey.

And the next time you see someone ‘doing a bush turkey’ maybe you could cheer them on from the footpath for at least giving it a shot, and maybe give them some helpful directions (or a handful of birdseed).

The Power of a Few Kind Words

Your dreamA few years ago, thanks to a redundancy package, I was getting ready to leave my full-time government job and head off into the unexplored lands that lay beyond. It was my plan to spend the following year writing the first draft of my first book.

I’d been discussing this endeavour with my friend and colleague, Matt, and he was very supportive. He also wanted to write a book and was keen to support someone with a similar dream.

As my last day drew near, he would regularly stop by my desk and ask cheekily, ‘When you are going to send me the link to your blog?’

‘Before I go,’ I’d say. And he would nod, smile and move on.

At that stage, only a few close friends knew about my blog and I wrote under a pseudonym. But in a moment of weakness I’d succumbed to Matt’s questions and agreed to send him the details before I left. And he was not going to let me forget it.

My last day drew ever closer and Matt did not let up. He was determined and I was filled with dread. Matt is a journalist and as such, trained to write professionally. He knows his stuff. I on the other hand am a PR chick. I’ve written about lots of serious issues in my career for all types of publications but I’m not a trained journalist and my blog back then was about ‘frivolous’ issues like dating, men and having no clue about either of those things.

‘Who am I to think I can write?’ I thought to myself. ‘Matt is going to think it’s a complete load of rubbish! He’ll never take me seriously again.’

My last day arrived as did Matt, loitering near my desk once again. We exchanged goodbyes and he reminded me of my promise. ‘I won’t forget,’ I said. And he was gone.

Not long before I closed my computer down for the last time, I sent my blog link to him by email along with some words asking that he not judge it too harshly.

As the email departed from my screen, I felt mortified. I wanted to sink through the floor and hide forever. He was going to think I was completely lame. Oh, the embarrassment.

The next day (my first day of freedom), I got up, turned on my computer and logged into my emails. Matt had already sent me his thoughts on my writing.

I took a deep breath and began to read his words which were along the following lines.

‘Lucretia, I don’t know what all the fuss was about. There’s nothing wrong with your writing. You’re a writer, so write.’

He wrote a few other things that day and his words were incredibly supportive. I was so grateful. Those few sentences helped me to believe I could be taken seriously. His words helped me to take myself seriously. His words were a gift.

Later this year, I will be self-publishing my first book. It’s not highbrow and it’s not revolutionary. But it’s my story and the support of people like Matt over the past few years, has helped me believe that it’s worth putting out there.

Sometimes it’s kind words that can make the difference between following your dream or abandoning hope. So when someone says they believe you can do it, believe them.

And if you don’t have someone like a ‘Matt’ in your world right now, then you should know that I believe you can do it. Your dream is yours, so go for it.

I believe in you.