Where do our fears come from?

Where do our fears come from?

Fear is the silent stalker that stifles creativity, achievement and our ability to rise up and take our rightful places as the change makers in our communities. It suffocates our enthusiasm, plays into the hands of our detractors and prevents us from serving at a much higher level.

Where does it come from this fear? Is it something we create inside ourselves as a self-protective mechanism born of our egoic mind? Or is it simply absorbed into our souls from external environments, the messages we’re exposed to and the people we learn from?

When you witness a young child climbing trees, swinging from a rope, running barefoot through the grass or simply spinning in circles in a field because it’s fun, there is no fear there. In fact, children in everyday normal life usually don’t feel fear at all. They trust. Fear is something they’re taught through the words and actions of others.

“Don’t do that, you might get hurt,” we warn them as they put their hand carelessly near the flames. And that message is fine. Our destruction by fire is something we should avoid so the lesson is eventually learned and it’s a useful one.

But what about the other fears we teach children and even teach each other. The messages parents tell their children like, “Don’t stand out too much, you need to fit in and make friends” and “Always try to get along with everyone” are fine on one level, they really are. But why is the truth that some people will never like you no matter what you do or say, so unpalatable. And do we really always need to try and get along with everyone? Because if we do that, then we’re always going to be conforming to what other people are comfortable with and this is unlikely to lead to our ultimate happiness. Right?

This is a fear of being who we are.

Our governments propagate our fear, insidiously. “Those people are a threat and shouldn’t be trusted,” we’re told about men, women and children who seek our protection from war and persecution.

Or, “They’re taking advantage of our system” we’re told of people who can’t get jobs and the majority of whom feel humiliated at seeking government assistance to pay their bills.

This is a fear of others taking what we have.

Then culturally we’re told, “The answer is out there!” It’s in technology so scroll through those electronic screens day and night and you will find the answers. Don’t stop and be quiet, alone with your thoughts. No! Fill your waking hours pulled inexorably into the world ‘out there’ and leave your own creative space behind. Soon enough you become uncomfortable with silence, with stillness and with nothingness. You must always be doing, watching someone or something else.

We become fearful of a life without distraction.

Eventually we don’t want to stand out too much, we want everyone to like us, we believe that strangers who don’t look like us and don’t believe what we do want to take something from us, and we can’t be still with our own thoughts.

What chance does our inner voice have then? Where is your intuition then? Where is the Universe’s opportunity to send you guidance then?

It’s squashed. It struggles. It slides to the edge of oblivion.

Fear, if permitted, takes over and leaves nothing in its wake but conformity and loss of consciousness.

How do we bring ourselves back from the brink?

We can begin by recognising that fear has become our driver in the first place and if it’s at the wheel of our car then we need to kick it out. Fear is never going to show us peace or happiness or fulfillment. It’s like a drunk driver – dangerous, with any vestiges of self-awareness drowned out by liquor.

Recognise it’s something we’re taught and absorbed. Then question it.

Acknowledge that we are all different and not all of us are going to ‘like’ or agree with each other – and that’s okay.

Know that in order to follow your calling you’re going to have to stand out and sometimes it will be uncomfortable. Some will try to pull you back into the status quo – resist the pull.

When we’re told that someone is a threat and seeking to take something from us, we need to come back into our hearts and ask is that really true. Or are we being fed a fallacy to manipulate and separate us from other human beings who are just in a tough or desperate situation that they don’t know how to escape from.

And finally we need to regain that balance between the external world and our internal one. We need to stop fearing the silence and instead, embrace it. We need to remember that our creativity and our ability to see opportunities and gain fulfillment begins first with our connection to ourselves and our inner voice. From there everything grows.

Are you ready to stop the fear and begin your real journey?

Lucretia Ackfield is an author, psychic channel and transformational teacher who seeks to empower women to create change and serve humanity. Her program, No I’m Not a Weird Hippie Chick, helping women to develop and manage their intuitive gifts so they can step into their Calling and live their Purpose. You can follow her on Instagram @noimnotaweirdhippiechick or join her Facebook group Rock Your Inner Channel for insights about being psychic and living in the mainstream world. 

 

 

It’s time to pull back the curtain of your soul

It’s time to pull back the curtain of your soul

Sometimes the idea of looking too closely at ourselves can feel daunting or even a little scary. We worry about what we might find if we pull back the curtain of our soul. Will there be something there we don’t want to see? A truth we cannot un-see or avoid. Will it be something that others don’t like? Or, will there be nothing in there at all?

This last one was my biggest fear a few years ago. It was early in the psychic awakening process for me and boy oh boy, was the Universe pushing me to shift forward big-time. With awareness comes this undeniable and somewhat unavoidable arrangement with your soul and the Universe to expand your consciousness and follow your soul’s calling. In this case, I was being called to look closely at some of the crap that had been holding me back for far too long. I was being called to connect to my soul in a very real and intimate way. I was being called to go deep.

I was terrified. My good friend Samantha* was helping me through the emotional speed bumps and asked me at the time, ‘What are you afraid of?’

‘What if I ‘go there’ and there’s nothing inside?’ I said. I’m sure there was desperation dripping from every word. ‘What if there’s nothing in there?’

‘Of course there’s something in there,’ she said. ‘You’re in there.’

Phew. I’m so glad she offered me those words at that moment. Those simple words helped me gather up my courage close to my chest and shortly afterwards, I made the time to sit quietly with myself and ask my soul what it wanted.

And I, of course, discovered that my soul was there the whole time; not so quietly waiting for me to connect. I discovered there was no empty void within me. Instead there was so much depth, love and things to be discovered and learned. I’m still learning those things now. Every day or week or month there is another layer to me that I peel away to discover more.

I’m not sure if this is helpful for you. Perhaps you have no fear of what lies within you?

Yet I have spoken my friend Samantha’s* words to many clients and friends since they were first told to me. And I know they have provided comfort and enabled many of them to discover their own courage and begin traveling the road to their soul connection.

It seems to me there is the duality of fear when it comes to looking too closely at ourselves and what we truly desire. Our somewhat merciless, protective egoic mind splits down the middle and says either, ‘Don’t go there, it will be too much, you won’t be able to cope with the fall out’ or ‘Who are you kidding? There is nothing within. You don’t need to look behind the curtain to confirm it.’

Many of us will remain, some of us for a lifetime, sitting on the knife-edge between the two, slowly but surely splitting ourselves down the middle.

Such is the power of our fear of change.

But if there is one thing I know, it is this. And I know it with every fibre of my spiritual being.

If you choose to go deep within yourself, connect to your soul and uncover your true desires, you will discover something incredible. You will discover a depth in yourself you didn’t know existed.

You will discover that behind the curtain you are keeping so tightly closed, is something so magical and beautiful that it should never be hidden.

Because that ‘something’ currently hidden, is the very essence of you.

That is one thing I know to be true.
*Names changed.

Lucretia Ackfield is a writer and transformational teacher. If you’re interested in expanding your self-awareness, connecting to your soul and owning your intuitive power, check out her Facebook group Rock Your Inner Channel.

Is it time to create the life you really want?

Is it time to create the life you really want?

‘Maybe I’m just not meant to be happy.’

These words were uttered by a friend a few years ago. She felt like she was in a no-win situation and had to choose a path she didn’t want to choose in order to ‘do the right thing’. This ultimately meant keeping the people around her happy while she felt miserable.

Does this sound familiar? How many times have you done that in your life? How many times have you wanted something but realised it would cause waves with other people in your life so instead you stuffed it down inside you and hoped it would go away?

But it didn’t go away, did it? Nope, like a bad case of reflux it keeps coming back up; sticking in your throat, almost making you gag. But you’re determined aren’t you? You’re not going to let it win because if you let it out, you’re going to upset people. You’ll be knocking over the apple cart and everyone else’s apples will go rolling down the hill. You’ll be disruptive. They’ll tell you that you’re selfish. And you want to be a good person don’t you? You want that desperately. You want people to be happy. You want them to like you. You want to do the ‘right thing’.

But I have to tell you sweetheart that it’s not going to work. Because if that thing inside you keeps coming up, if it plagues your mind while you rush around doing everyone else’s bidding, then there’s a reason for it.

And the reason is that you deserve to follow your dreams. You deserve to create whatever is in you to create. And the Universe is not going to let you forget it.

But you have choice. Of course you have a choice. It’s your life.

You can choose to keep pushing down your desires because you’re scared of complicating your world or failing or upsetting people or standing out. You can choose this and know that when you reach the end of your life you will probably regret not taking a chance on yourself. You will regret not believing you could do it.

Or you can decide that you are worthy of living the best possible life you can live. You can decide that you have a right to honour all those unruly desires clamouring in your heart. You can decide that what you want is important enough to acknowledge and begin to create. If you make this choice, the choice that truly speaks to your heart, you can begin to slowly remove the shackles of the past. You can begin to untie all those heavy ropes that bind you to things and people that no longer serve you.

And then my gorgeous friend, you can begin moving towards the magical life that is possible for you; the life that is fulfilling and challenging and uniquely yours. You won’t create it immediately. Truly magnificent creations take time and nurturing. And this one, your creation, your life, must be fertilised with self-awareness, joy, triumph, disruption, failure, terrifying leaps into the unknown, unexpected discoveries and above all, your willingness to learn just how wonderful you are and what you are truly capable of. It will be a lifelong journey.

But I assure you, it will be worth it.

Or you can stay where you are. You can languish in the everyday ordinariness of a life you don’t really want.

The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

Would you like some help to create the life you really want? My Intuition Connection Program or a Clarity Session might be just want you need to get you started.

Will Curiosity Really Kill the Cat?

Will Curiosity Really Kill the Cat?

Whenever I open a door in the kitchen my cat Mirabel instantly wants to dive in. She does the same thing every time I open my wardrobe door. Suddenly she’s right beside me and, if I’m not quick, she dives in to explore and her cheeky, jaunty tail disappears into the depths.

She is fearless in her exploration and her curiosity seems boundless. She sat on the windowsill this morning watching with rapt attention as the council truck rumbled along the street, picking up the bins and banging them down again. And whenever the printer starts up in my office, she’s suddenly sitting beside it, listening carefully to the whirrings and paying close attention as the paper moves in and then out again.

Is this why they say curiosity killed the cat, because they are so curious? I daresay Mirabel would be far too clever for that outcome.

But her mischievous exploration of unknown frontiers, unexpected opportunities and new activities got me thinking. Mirabel is so very willing to dive through an open door to see what’s on the other side. She simply rocks up and jumps in, without hesitation it seems.

Perhaps we could learn something from that?

So often it feels like we prevaricate about the right thing to do and the sensible thing to do. We are so very cautious when faced with new and unexpected experiences and we seek guarantees before we cross the threshold. We want to know how it will work out later.

‘Will I make a fool of myself?
‘Will I stuff it up?
‘Will he/she/they reject me?
‘What if it doesn’t last?
‘What if I get hurt?
‘What if I’m not good enough?
‘What if I make the wrong choice?
‘What if they laugh at me?’

The questions will scuttle mercilessly through our brains as we (figuratively speaking) hop from one foot to another, trying to make the ‘right’ decision.

Meanwhile, someone like Mirabel has stepped through the open door, explored the interior, learned some stuff, met some people, fallen in love/got a new job/started their dream business/moved to another country, and then found another door to step through.

Yet still you stand in the same place, hoping for something better yet afraid to shift in case you make the ‘wrong move’. You continue to peer through the door, trying desperately to see through the murky darkness to what lies beyond. But you can’t, so you stay where you are.

Sound familiar?

Needless to say, I like Mirabel’s approach. But it’s sometimes hard to emulate it. Fear frequently grinds my own feet to a halt on the threshold of many doorways. It’s at those moments that I need to remind myself that the greatest changes and achievements in my life have come when I stepped fearlessly forward, despite not knowing where I might end up.

It’s can be a challenge to live fearlessly, to take chances and explore the unknown pathways that beckon us onwards. Some people never attempt it and instead will be content to stay on the safe and well-known side of the doorway.

But I think Mirabel’s approach, with its accompanying adventure, knowledge and curiosity, is the one for me. I just need to master it.

Big Risks Lead to Wonderful Opportunities

Big Risks Lead to Wonderful Opportunities

My first book will be out very soon. Yes, the book I’ve been trying to give birth to for the past four years is finally ready to be born. It’s been a long journey.

Its imminent arrival has got me thinking about the risk I’m taking in putting it out into the world. You see, The Men I’ve Almost Dated is a profoundly personal expose of life in my 30s. It covers everything from my divorce to sex and the men I’ve dated through to the many lessons I learned throughout the whole process.

When I read the manuscript now some of my stories seem hilarious as they cover the crazy things I did and the often bizarre behaviour of people I knew during that time. Sometimes the stories are a little sad because they outline how much I was hurt by other people or when I simply made naïve decisions that hurt me.

I am taking a personal risk in putting this book out into the world because with every creative endeavour there is also the very really chance of judgement. Actually, it’s more than a chance, it’s a reality. People are going to judge me based on my book. They’re going to judge the writing, the stories I tell, and my behaviour.

I will in many ways be laying myself on the line and yet I feel compelled to do so. I guess it’s just taken a few years to finally reach the point where I can’t hold back anymore.

I’ve been reflecting about the other times I’ve taken big risks in my life. Well, risks that seemed huge to me at the time while to someone else they might have seemed minuscule. I suppose my first big risk as an adult was in my late 20s. I was in a full-time job where I loved the work but the culture of the place was killing me slowly but surely. I was becoming increasingly negative, incredibly unhappy and more and more uptight as the days passed. One day I simply resigned. As someone who’d always been very security-conscious that action was a big deal for me. I didn’t have another job to go to and I had bills to pay. But I still did it.

That one risk was scary but it opened so many doors. After about six weeks without work, I picked up a contract in government and would go on to do some amazing roles and work with some incredibly talented people. That one risk led to so many opportunities and awesome experiences.

My next big risk was deciding to leave my husband. By now I was in my early 30s and we’d been together for 15 years. But after 2.5 years of drastic soul-searching and many tears, I left. I decided to take the huge risk of standing on my own because I couldn’t stay where I was any longer.

That one decision opened a whole new world to me that I didn’t know existed. It also led me to discover so many things about myself that would expand me in directions I didn’t know was possible.

So here I am at another turning point. It’s about 10 years since I left my husband and The Men I’ve Almost Dated chronicles the lead up to the leaving, and all that’s followed. Like I said, it’s a very personal story and people may hate it. Some may love it, while others simply won’t care. I could become just another self-published author who disappears into obscurity. All of this is possible.

But regardless of what happens when my book hits online shelves, I’m sure of one thing. My risk in putting this book out will open doors that I can’t even see right now. And it’s going to lead to a new range of experiences that I haven’t dreamed of yet.

So here’s to my next big risk. And may you find the courage within you, to take yours.

Revamp your Career

Every Monday for the next few weeks, my good friend Bec Smith – the Personal Stylist and I will be teaming up to share our tips on resumes, interviews, choosing the right outfit for your job, making a career change, and getting you through the first week of your new job fashion-wise. We’ll also look at returning to work after having a baby (how to get yourself out the door in the morning and still look fabulous with less time to prepare) and what to do with your LinkedIn profile and photograph. Check out this blog or our Facebook pages Lucretia’s Words or Bec Smith Personal Stylist from Monday, 22 August.

#10% off Resume Revamp and Styling Packages until 30 September 2016.