I have a fear that gnaws away at me sometimes. It’s the fear that once everything opens up again, nothing will really have changed. Or more specifically, people will choose to go back to the way things were and not make any fundamental changes at all.
I understand that many of us are saying, “I just want my life back. I just want my freedom back.” Lord knows, as a single extrovert who lives alone, I’d love the chance to date, have sex, go out with friends and physically touch another human being. I get it.
But I also understand this moment in time, with all its attending death, trauma and upheaval, is a chance for individuals to choose something different when the world opens again. It is not a call to simply return to the way things were – it is the opposite. It is a call to choose differently when you have the chance.
But will you choose differently?
I help people connect to their Soul’s Purpose and live a life that embodies their calling. I love what I do and when I see the transformation that is possible, I am honoured to do this work.
But even now, when the Universe has sent us a very clear message that life is short and you need to choose wisely, I can see people are still choosing to stay stuck and will no doubt, make the same choices when lockdown is over.
Many are chafing under the current restrictions yet refusing to use this time to reassess what is really important to them. I see others still hesitating to back themselves and continuing to turn their backs on a life that would provide them with more personal joy and satisfaction. I watch others continue to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and stifling.
This period had been incredibly difficult but if you don’t choose differently when it’s over, then you’re missing the opportunity of a lifetime. You will pass over the chance to step into something greater and far more fulfilling than you’ve had before. Now is not the time to chicken out and continue accepting that you can’t have what you really want. Now is the time to do the work on yourself, face your shadows, call on your personal courage and step forward.
The uncomfortable understandings that are bubbling up within you aren’t supposed to be shoved back into a box when all this is over. Instead they are here to show you where you are out of alignment with your purpose. They are showing you there is another way if only you will choose it.
Now is the time to leave behind those patterns and situations that no longer fit you and choose to reset your life – leave that relationship, do that course, apply for the job you really want, start your business on the side, invest in yourself, change your career, write that book and create the art you love.
Make a clear and definite decision right now to not go back to the old normal. Instead consciously choose to move into alignment with who you truly are and what will make you happy. Make the tough choices, back yourself and if you need support to traverse the road ahead, find someone like me to walk beside you and help you find your way.
Because the very worst thing you could do, is go back to a normal that was never what you wanted anyway.
If you’ve found this post then you’re
someone who wants to create change in the world. You want to live differently
to the way your parents and other people you know have lived. You have a vision
or maybe just an inkling of doing things differently.
Have you ever shared your desire,
your dream, your vision with someone you thought would have your back? Maybe you
opened up just a little and trusted them.
You wanted their support and
understanding but instead, all you heard was something like:
“Oh look that sounds a bit like a dream to me and not very
realistic”
“I really think you need to be a bit more practical”
“I think that’s something you can do on the side. But for now
you should finish your degree and get a really good job”
“We never had these opportunities when we were young and we
wanted to make sure that you have them. So don’t waste them. Get a good job and
get paid well. Forget all that other stuff because it’s not very realistic.
Just go out and achieve, achieve, achieve.” (This may come from your parents if they didn’t have a lot of
opportunities.)
When you get this type of negative or “realistic” feedback about what you want to create, it can be really hard to keep your focus and maintain your faith in your ability to make your dreams real.
But there are things you can do to
make sure their stories and negative feedback doesn’t take you off track and
stop you from living your purpose.
Understand their response is about THEIR STORY NOT YOURS.
We all tell ourselves stories
about what is possible and what is not. These are based on our experiences, beliefs
and interactions with others.
But if you share your desire or dream
with someone and their story negatively influences their response, you
potentially enter a danger zone. If you are not feeling really grounded and
centred in yourself, you will take their story on as your truth. This is
dangerous for you because it’s not the truth. It is just a story they believe
and they are projecting it onto you.
It’s possible their dreams were
squashed when they were young and they lost hope that they could do anything
different. This led them to conform and do what their parents, community and friends
wanted them to do. So your idea to do something that bucks the system will confront
their beliefs and the story they’ve been telling themselves about what their
life can, could or should be.
I’m not trying to invalidate their
perspectives because those experiences will be real for them. But that’s their
story, NOT YOURS. You’re here to create your own story.
Yes, you need to be able to
support yourself financially, look after and be responsible for yourself. But
that doesn’t mean you have to live the same kind of life that other people think
you should live.
ALL OR NOTHING THINKING can stop you before you start
Sometimes we also have all or nothing thinking and this stops us from moving forward. You will be worrying that if you make the wrong decision now, you might screw everything up. This leaves you feeling indecisive and sometimes you avoid making any decisions at all.
But whatever you’re doing when
you’re aged 20, 22, 25, 27, etcetera, YOU WON’T BE DOING THOSE THINGS IN
ANOTHER 10 YEARS. Nothing stays the same for that long so you’re better off taking
a chance in this moment, doing what feels right for you and moving forward.
Otherwise you will be waiting for the perfect time and a guaranteed outcome (neither
of these exist!!).
One particular decision is rarely going
to make or break your entire life. Waiting for other people to “get it”, and
understand and support your decisions is also wasting time.
If other people don’t agree with your life choices, that is not your problem.
Yes, we all want people to like us.
But you cannot put yourself into a box to help other people feel more
comfortable with their life choices. That’s not your job.
What other people think of you is none
of your business. You need to focus on what you think of you!
Focus on what you feel is the next
right step for you and trust yourself. When you do that, you are moving forward
with your life purpose and life path. You will meet other people along the way
who will get what you are trying to do. They will understand what you’re trying
to create and will support you. But there will be others who will test your
faith in yourself.
You need to make the best decision
for you right now and understand that not everyone is going to agree with you,
and that’s okay. Sure, sit back and question yourself a little but then ask
yourself “Okay, what feels like the right thing for me?” then follow
that and know it’s all going to work out. It probably won’t look like you think
it will – life never works out the way we think it should. But it’s going to
work out beautifully and in the best possible way for you.
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I took my book and
made my way into the backyard this afternoon. The sun in Brisvegas is
unseasonably warm and being a girl who loves the heat, I was keen to make the
most of it.
My backyard includes a
pool, thick green grass and a view of the river. But it hasn’t always been this
way.
A few weeks ago, I left my home of 13 years to move here. It was a big choice to sell my house and I’m still feeling the reverberations of that choice, even now. My life is different now. The way I live is different now. And the space I inhabit within the world has changed.
It always intrigues me how when we change one thing in our lives, things change around us too. When we shift so does our energy and those ripples inexorably spread out into the world affecting our relationship with others and indeed, our relationship with ourselves.
Change one thing and many things change. Change a lot of things and you can imagine the impact is little more significant.
For me, my recent big
change has led me to see much of my life through a different lens. I feel freer
because in many ways I am starting anew. How I interact with strangers has
shifted too. I am more open and I find myself feeling even more curious about
the human condition. I observe more, feel more. Certainly my psychic channel feels
much stronger, more attuned and more powerful than it has been.
My house was a home and a refuge. But eventually it became a place where I felt stuck and hidden from the world. Perhaps it was also a symbol of a life I thought I would once have that never eventuated.
So now I’m here.
As I sat beside the pool,
relaxing in the sun, I found myself asking that question we frequently ask when
seeking clarity about our next steps and where we want to go:
“If you could do
anything, what would you do?”
As I rolled the question
around in my head, I realised something that had never really cut-through my
psyche before. I had asked the wrong question. The real question is:
“You can do anything
so what are you going to do first and when are you going to do it?”
The second question is
the true question and I laughed at myself when I realised it.
So many of the reasons
we give ourselves for not doing what we truly want are mere excuses. They may
be very reasonable and logical excuses but they are excuses just the same.
And when we start the
discussion from a place of restriction with a focus on perceived obstacles, we
cut ourselves off at the knees even before we start the race.
I was sitting there in that beautiful setting because I made some difficult but necessary decisions to change my life. To be honest, the Universe in many ways brought me to metaphorical knees before I would make those decisions, but I still made them. And I don’t regret them for one minute. Because once you let go of what you ‘think’ your life should look like as you move towards your goals, you allow whole new perspectives to show up that will take you to places you never expected to go (and sometimes resist visiting) and soon after you will realise you are exactly where you need to be.
I never thought I
would end up living somewhere like this, but it’s perfect. So as I settle in, I
now know what question I should really be asking.
It’s the 1st
March and I’m wondering what happened to summer. In the past day or so the
weather has turned cooler at night. Our cotton blankets suddenly pulled up to
our chins at 3am when we feel the autumnal chill.
Every year at this
time I feel like I blinked and missed summer. I’ve worked through the last few
hot seasons, not pausing for breath. An occasional day off but mostly work
while others take well-earned breaks and chill by the pool. For me it’s the joys
of the entrepreneurial life that drive me on during these periods. Although joy
may not always be apt description.
Being an entrepreneur
is hard work. Yes, this is where I would kindly advise another writer to change
‘hard’ to ‘challenging’ as the latter implies that it can be surmounted. The
former suggests only difficulty. But sometimes being an entrepreneur is
difficult and that is the truth. You need to live, you need to work, you need
clients, you need to do your marketing, and on and on it goes.
It is easier to simply
work for an organisation but there are costs with that choice too – you become cog
in a larger wheel that will continue to turn long after you leave. You will be
replaced by another cog. That is not a bad thing. These days it’s rare for
anyone to stay in one job for decades. But nevertheless, you will ultimately be
replaced as the organisation, an ever-growing organism, continues to expand and
you move on.
Periodically, I return to being a cog. In my business it can be feast or famine and sometimes you need the consistency of a J.O.B. to get you through the fallow times.
Being an entrepreneur
means you don’t want to be just another cog, instead you want to create
something new, something that is yours. Not everyone will understand why you
continue to drive yourself when it would be easier to simply slip back into the
mainstream, full-time and give your dreams away.
But dreams are precious
and when brought into reality, they transform the world and make it so much better
than it was before.
When you feel like it’s hopeless, go back to the source of your creative inspiration and begin again – that is where the ideas and the energy will flourish and be reborn if only you pay attention.
Trust yourself and fall
forward into your perceived failures. Keep learning and talking to people about
your passions. Rest for a while and take that J.O.B. if you need to and know
that you’re allowed to pause and take a breath before you forge ahead again. Be
kind to yourself.
Above all, when people tell you it can’t be done or when they treat you as if you are a deluded dreamer, remember this:
Lucretia Ackfield is an author, psychic channel, and communications and engagement specialist who helps women to develop epic self-trust and harness their intuition so they can create change and serve humanity.
Is it really that easy to use our intuition every day? My answer is HECK YEAH! Using out intuition enables us to live more in alignment with our values, more connected to the things we truly desire and more able to live our Soul’s Mission. Here are my 9 EASY STEPS to help you live intuitively for a day by growing your awareness, presence and connection.
STEP 1: When you wake up in the
morning (before those thoughts begin scurrying through your mind about what you
‘should’ do that day) ask yourself, “What do I need to do for myself
today?” then go and do that thing. Remember, it won’t be about obligations
or meeting someone else’s needs. Instead it will be about you know you
intuitively need to do for you.
STEP 2: When you eat throughout the
day ask yourself, “How does this food make me feel?” “Does it
make me feel nourished and light?” If so, keep eating it. But if it makes
you feel heavy and gluggy (yes, I did just use that word LOL!!) then choose
something else to eat. By doing so you will be listening intuitively to your
body and what it needs.
STEP 3: Notice how you feel when you
interact with people throughout the day. Do you feel energised or drained
afterwards? Intuitively tune into how their energy makes you feel.
STEP 4: How do you feel when you are
in certain places e.g. on the train, the bus, the supermarket, your office, a
meeting room? How does your energy respond to the environment you are in.
STEP 5: When you get an intuitive
lead, follow it. An intuitive lead is when something catches your eye and for a
moment you think, “That might be cool/interesting/something fun to
do…” then your mind usually steps in and tells you why it’s not
practical, you’re too busy, people will think you’re weird, etc. Instead of
listening to your mind, follow your intuitive lead and see where it takes you.
It could be the start of something amazing!
STEP 6: Connect to the earth. Find
time to stand on the grass in your bare feet and just focus on your breathing
for a few minutes. If you can’t go outside for some reason, then simply close your
eyes and visualise yourself doing it. When we connect to the earth in this way
we improve our ability to be present and able to connect into our inner voice.
STEP 7: Turn off technology 2 hours
before bedtime. Our iPhones and other devices are incredibly valuable but they
take our energy and focus outside ourselves and this makes it more difficult to
tune into and hear our intuitive voice. Take a break from technology and do something
you enjoy that brings you back into this moment.
STEP 8: Meditate. Many people resist
meditation because they think they can’t do it right. But at its core,
meditation is simply about being present and breathing. When we practise this
regularly, we help to shut out the noise that prevents us from tuning into our
inner voice.
STEP 9: Journaling is an amazing way
to clear out the debris from our minds and get clear about how we really feel
and what we really want (separate from everyone else’s expectations). Spend 15
minutes writing about how you felt throughout your Day of Living Intuitively.
Did anything surprise you? Did you learn something new?
>>>If you’re ready to clear out the obstacles that have been holding you back, kick your indecision to the kerb and harness your intuitive power so you can live your Soul’s Mission, check out Nights for Spiritual Beginners. EARLY BIRD OFFER CLOSES 11.59PM (AEST) 30 JANUARY 2019. Spaces are limited so don’t miss out on your chance to transform your life, empower yourself, make a difference and begin creating the changes your Soul is longing to make.<<<
Can you remember a time when you gave up on something you loved or dreamed about? It might have been when you were a kid, or a teenager or as an adult. I want you to think about when you chose to stop going for that dream or doing that job or activity that you loved. Regardless of the circumstances, there was a moment when you chose to let it go.
Maybe some other kids made fun of you for being different, so you gave it up. Maybe a teacher said you weren’t good enough, so you gave it up. Maybe someone told you that it would be too hard or maybe impossible, so you gave it up. Maybe you had a family to provide for, so you gave it up.
Can you see that moment in your mind’s eye? Can you remember how it felt?
When I look back, I can see a few of those moments too. The one that stands out tonight as I write this post, is the moment I realised that if I was going to be with my husband then I would probably never work overseas. He was perfectly happy staying where he was and we were married and I loved him. At the time, my choice seemed obligatory and not a real choice at all. If I wanted my relationship then I had to give up the exciting dream that beckoned to me.
But it was me who chose. I could have gone for six months and then returned, but I didn’t (I wasn’t brave enough to take that risk on my own). I could have left him, but I didn’t (that came years later when our paths were definitely and permanently no longer running in parallel).
I chose not to chase that dream.
Over the past 13 years, since my marriage ended, I have done a lot of travel. I guess you could say I’ve been making up for lost time. I even worked remotely for clients while I was in Italy last year, so I guess you could say I finally realised my dream after all. Does that mean we all eventually get where we’re meant to go? I’m not sure.
I know I’ve come a long way from that 20-something young woman who was too scared to go for what she really wanted. I also know that the love I’m seeking these days won’t require me to give up what I love and dream of. Compromise in a relationship is one thing, but giving up on your dreams and the things you love permanently is a choice I’m no longer willing to make.
Life will always throw us curve balls. Sometimes we have to defer things and put them off for a while until it’s a better time. I know this. But the danger is when we choose to make those decisions to align with other people’s expectations, or when we think we should just be more sensible, more practical and [insert all the other reasons we tell ourselves why we can’t have what we truly desire and deserve].
I hope that when you read this post you will remember that thing you loved or dreamt of. I also hope you will choose to find a way to reach for it again because the real cost of giving up what you love is always too high.
Lucretia is an author, psychic channel and transformational teacher who helps women reach for what they love. Her three-month, personalised mentoring programs help women like you claim their Intuitive Power and Live Their Soul’s Mission. Contact Lucretia at lucretia@lucretiaswords.com for more information. You can also find more of her work onFacebookandInstagram