How did I get here?

I was thinking today about how quickly life slips through our fingers. One moment we’re in school then suddenly we’re out in the world, studying, getting our first job and doing all the ‘adult things’ we were longing for.

But, often there comes a moment when we realise the adult life we were told to work for, isn’t quite what we want. And that throws everything up in the air because we don’t know what to do next.

There is a great line in the song, Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads, where the singer asks “How did I get here?” The song tells of looking at your life and knowing it looks great on the surface but it has no meaning.

Without meaning in our life, why live it?

For me, meaning comes from doing what I know I’m here to do. Part of that involves constantly unthreading the blocks and beliefs that hold me back so I can step more fully into my purpose.

Even if you don’t know what your purpose is yet, look for the things that feel meaningful for you, then do more of that. It doesn’t have to look sexy to someone else. It doesn’t need to make world headlines or meet the approval of a single other person. It only needs to have meaning for you.

If you’re doubting your direction, go back and pick up those things that have meaning for you. In doing so, you will reconnect to what your Soul is longing for. And that is far more valuable than any prescribed ‘adult’ path.

The Fish Rots from the Head

The Fish Rots from the Head

I’ve been struggling to process what’s happening in the world this week. I don’t usually choose to turn off the news. I know a lot of sensitives and empaths choose not to watch any of it because they find it too distressing. And I get it. But I’ve long considered myself to be a global citizen and therefore, it’s important to me that I stay in the loop about what is happening. So, I rarely turn away.

But this week I’ve had to a few times. On Tuesday my emotional overload from the images on my screens almost undid me and I had to retreat. I sat quietly and sketched for hours – the creativity blocking out the world while I regained my emotional and energetic equilibrium.

My thoughts have been jumbled and confused as I’ve watched people speak their truth across social platforms with the intention to help change things, to add their voice to the collective who are seeking a transformation of the way things are, to create something equitable. Certainly, racism is also a scourge in Australia just as in the United States although we don’t have the widespread gun use which seems to, from the outside looking in at least, make things so much worse. 

There is always more we can do, more we can say, more times we can speak up against the racist commentary and actions that still finds its way too frequently into modern society. I know, despite my own work and advocacy for Indigenous and multicultural communities in the past, there is still much more I can do and say. I haven’t done enough. I’m owning that. There is always more that I can do and I’m committed to that.

But, in light of all this, what came to the surface for me today as I tussled with the morass of chaotic thoughts in my head was the phrase, “The fish rots from the head”.

Right now, in the US, Trump is the head but he has been created by the rest of the fish. And the rest of the fish is rebelling against itself. I don’t feel like a lot of people get that yet. I think a lot of people voted for Trump and are now protesting for a better world, yet still don’t fully understand that they created the world they are protesting against. They voted for a man who promised to “make America great again” yet he also openly preached division, sexism and racism. He didn’t stand on a platform that appreciated diversity of thought, speech, beliefs or race. Yet, otherwise right-minded, kind and compassionate people voted for him. Try as you might, you can’t dismiss the millions who had their own good reasons for their decision at the ballot box. They can’t all be mad right-wing, survivalist, religious zealots, surely.

Yet, just as surely, many of those right-minded, kind and compassionate people are now protesting in the streets against levels of racism that are reprehensible and unacceptable.

I wonder if they see the connection. I’m guessing some of them might. I’m hoping they do.

From what I’ve observed, 2020 is a time of our shadows coming to the surface and what is happening in the US is part of that process.

The truth is, the enemy isn’t “out there”. It’s not some nefarious one percent of the richest people in the world manipulating the rest of humanity. It’s actually not about money at all. Money is only an energy and some people create and use it ethically while others don’t.

It is the shadows within all of us that we need to address and bring out into the light.

When you allow people like Trump to flourish and you give them power, you create an environment where division is the name of the game. Because the name of the game is power not humility. Ego not wisdom. Control not compassion.

Whether you voted for Trump or not, whether you are in another country observing the destruction from afar or not, we all need to realise that he is a symptom of the whole. And we are the whole. We have created this situation. And it’s time to fucking own it.

There is no mass conspiracy by an unnamed few. There is only us each as individuals, part of a collective of humanity, refusing to look at our shadows and seeking to blame others when we should be looking at ourselves a lot more closely.

Racism and discrimination is wrong. Murdering a man in broad daylight is wrong. This is a no-brainer and we all need to do better.

But turning away from our shadows and pointing out there, is not the answer. It’s time to look at ourselves and own the fish we have created. Then make different choices.

Where is your integrity line?

Where is your integrity line?

I’ve been thinking about integrity – the line we each have within us that we don’t want to cross. It’s a line that marks who we are; our honourability in a world that often feels increasingly dishonourable.

There will be times for all of us when we will be tempted to breach our line of integrity. Some of us will do so – we will cross the line, feel the discord within ourselves and quickly reverse our path. Others will cross the line and keep going because they feel it is too difficult to turn back.

It is your ability to understand where your integrity line is, and adhere to it, that is a sign of your courage and fortitude. Sticking to this line is difficult in a world where you’re told you must conform, you must keep the peace and you must keep other people happy.

When you cross your integrity line to appease others, you are compromising yourself and often the well-being of others. We only have to scan the global horizon right now to see how a lack of integrity by some, is compromising the health of many and leading to the death of others. Terrible things happen while good people do nothing.

Integrity doesn’t mean taking the easy or most expedient path. It doesn’t mean acting from a place of fear or anger. It means having character, being honest about your own actions and motivations, and then acting in accordance with what you know in your gut is right.

Integrity. I can’t help but think we need more of it. What do you think?

You don’t need permission

You don’t need permission

I know lots of inspirational people – writers, creators, thinkers and those who have an entrepreneurial spirit that burns brightly. The problem is, many of them hide that part of themselves from everyone else but me. Actually, let me clarify that point. Many of them would also like to hide that side from me too but this is impossible because one of my gifts is the ability to see straight into their heart and what their soul desires.

But why do they want to hide this in the first place?

Many of them are waiting for permission because showing yourself and going for what you really want is a risk. But if you have permission then you will have support; you won’t be alone. Without permission, you go against the expectations of family, friends and others who think they know best or believe you should be making different choices. You may be worried about their anger, judgement or disapproval. So you wait for permission and put your own desires on the backburner if they can’t be molded into a shape that others will find acceptable.

This is not going to bring you fulfillment or joy. However, it will lead to a life where you settle, conform and survive.

I understand the drive for acceptance and the need to fit in. I get it, I really do. My teens and 20s were focused on an epic, internal battle involving a desire for conformity versus a desire to be free.

Freedom eventually won and the price was, in some quarters, a loss of acceptance, angrily expressed opinions, and judgement. As I found my feet, I also directed some of these against myself – no one could be harder on me, than me.

The fight to break free of these unseen shackles is very real. The expectations of ourselves and others can be insidious and lurk unidentified until an issue brings them to light. There is always another layer to be removed as we grow and expand.

However, I chose to stop waiting for permission years ago. I realised I could wait for the permission and approval of someone else for the rest of my life and never, ever get it. This would mean my life would be half-lived and honestly, what is the point of that? My 90-year-old self would not thank me for that choice at all!

So, here are some words of advice from someone who waited for a long time before choosing the path I know is right for me.

Stop waiting and do what you feel called to do.

Because waiting for permission is like trying to ride a scooter with an arm and leg tied together. You’ll always feel off-balance, it will be difficult to change direction without falling off, and the feeling of wind in your hair as you zoom joyfully through life will be unattainable.

If you are ready to stop hiding and share your story with the world, check out my new course – Storytellers Anonymous – it might be just what you need to help you shine.

Should you be more realistic about your future?

Should you be more realistic about your future?

If you’ve found this post then you’re someone who wants to create change in the world. You want to live differently to the way your parents and other people you know have lived. You have a vision or maybe just an inkling of doing things differently.

Have you ever shared your desire, your dream, your vision with someone you thought would have your back? Maybe you opened up just a little and trusted them.

You wanted their support and understanding but instead, all you heard was something like:

  • “Oh look that sounds a bit like a dream to me and not very realistic”
  • “I really think you need to be a bit more practical”
  • “I think that’s something you can do on the side. But for now you should finish your degree and get a really good job”
  • “We never had these opportunities when we were young and we wanted to make sure that you have them. So don’t waste them. Get a good job and get paid well. Forget all that other stuff because it’s not very realistic. Just go out and achieve, achieve, achieve.” (This may come from your parents if they didn’t have a lot of opportunities.)

When you get this type of negative or “realistic” feedback about what you want to create, it can be really hard to keep your focus and maintain your faith in your ability to make your dreams real.

But there are things you can do to make sure their stories and negative feedback doesn’t take you off track and stop you from living your purpose.  

Understand their response is about THEIR STORY NOT YOURS.

We all tell ourselves stories about what is possible and what is not. These are based on our experiences, beliefs and interactions with others.

But if you share your desire or dream with someone and their story negatively influences their response, you potentially enter a danger zone. If you are not feeling really grounded and centred in yourself, you will take their story on as your truth. This is dangerous for you because it’s not the truth. It is just a story they believe and they are projecting it onto you.

It’s possible their dreams were squashed when they were young and they lost hope that they could do anything different. This led them to conform and do what their parents, community and friends wanted them to do. So your idea to do something that bucks the system will confront their beliefs and the story they’ve been telling themselves about what their life can, could or should be.

I’m not trying to invalidate their perspectives because those experiences will be real for them. But that’s their story, NOT YOURS. You’re here to create your own story.

Yes, you need to be able to support yourself financially, look after and be responsible for yourself. But that doesn’t mean you have to live the same kind of life that other people think you should live.

ALL OR NOTHING THINKING can stop you before you start

Sometimes we also have all or nothing thinking and this stops us from moving forward. You will be worrying that if you make the wrong decision now, you might screw everything up. This leaves you feeling indecisive and sometimes you avoid making any decisions at all.

But whatever you’re doing when you’re aged 20, 22, 25, 27, etcetera, YOU WON’T BE DOING THOSE THINGS IN ANOTHER 10 YEARS. Nothing stays the same for that long so you’re better off taking a chance in this moment, doing what feels right for you and moving forward. Otherwise you will be waiting for the perfect time and a guaranteed outcome (neither of these exist!!).

One particular decision is rarely going to make or break your entire life. Waiting for other people to “get it”, and understand and support your decisions is also wasting time.

If other people don’t agree with your life choices, that is not your problem.

Yes, we all want people to like us. But you cannot put yourself into a box to help other people feel more comfortable with their life choices. That’s not your job.

What other people think of you is none of your business. You need to focus on what you think of you!

Focus on what you feel is the next right step for you and trust yourself. When you do that, you are moving forward with your life purpose and life path. You will meet other people along the way who will get what you are trying to do. They will understand what you’re trying to create and will support you. But there will be others who will test your faith in yourself.

You need to make the best decision for you right now and understand that not everyone is going to agree with you, and that’s okay. Sure, sit back and question yourself a little but then ask yourself “Okay, what feels like the right thing for me?” then follow that and know it’s all going to work out. It probably won’t look like you think it will – life never works out the way we think it should. But it’s going to work out beautifully and in the best possible way for you.

If you’re ready to follow your dreams and create the life your Soul is calling out for, check out the Dream Creators Collective – an intensive six-week transformational process for intuitives, empaths and energetically-sensitive people who are ready to create change and serve humanity.

 If you are sick of feeling like you’re not enough…if you’re tired of the BS…if you’re done with that annoying voice in your head that keeps making excuses and says you can’t or you shouldn’t, then the Dream Creators Collective is for you. 

It’s for people who are ready to get serious, develop epic self-trust and harness their intuition so they can get out there and create change in the world.

The Dream Creators Collective is about learning practical skills to help you manage overwhelm and move you forward, managing and using your intuitive gifts, exploring your passions, living your purpose and connecting with yourself and others.

The six-week transformational process starts in early December 2019. Limited spaces.

Go to the edge of your comfort zone, cross the border, then keep going

Go to the edge of your comfort zone, cross the border, then keep going

Are you doing a university degree that you don’t really like or staying in a job that you don’t really care about? Maybe you want to travel but you’re too afraid to go alone.

Well, this week I heard from a former work colleague who was a lot like you are now. But guess what?! He’s just decided to blow his comfort zone out of the water.

Like a lot of 20-somethings, he has a huge amount of potential but he was stuck in his comfort zone and kept waiting for someone else to join him so he could begin his adventures. Until now.

A few days ago, he sent me a PM which said:


“…You implored me to stop trying to wait for other people and just get out there regardless if they come with you or not. Well, I decided to up and go on a holiday by myself to Bali, because no one else could get time off and I wanted to go…”

Receiving this kind of message makes my day, month and year because he has chosen to bust through his comfort zone and do what he really wants without waiting for someone else. And his life and perspectives will expand exponentially because he has chosen to move past his comfort zone into the unknown.

I meet so many people who are waiting for approval or someone to join them before they make the change they want in their life. But the honest truth is, that may never happen. And that will be a wasted life because one day you will be 95 years old, sitting in a rocking chair with false teeth and barely any hair, and you will be thinking, F@CK why didn’t I go for what I wanted instead of what was comfortable? Now it’s too late.

Stop waiting.

Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash