You have a right to go for what you want

You have a right to go for what you want

If there’s one thing I’ve observed repeatedly as a mentor and just an average person walking around living this life, it’s that people rarely seem to be asked, ‘What do you want?’ or they rarely ask themselves this question. And if they do, they give little credence to the answer they receive from within themselves.

So much of what we’re geared to do and be is about pleasing others: our families, our friends, our bosses, our teachers, our lovers, and the list goes on. Yet surely the question, ‘What do I want?’ should be the most important thing you ask yourself, and ask it regularly.

But I’m not talking about, ‘Do I want pizza or steak for dinner?’ The question I’m talking about is, ‘What does my soul want?’ or even more specifically, ‘What does my heart desire, for me?’

When I ask this question of clients and friends too often the response, ‘I want to do X but…’ and they follow the ‘but’ with a myriad of reasons why they can’t do or have what they want. These range from, ‘It’s too expensive’ and ‘XX would disapprove’ to ‘I could never make money out of it’ or ‘I couldn’t make it work’. Or it’s some kind of other self-restriction we’ve created for ourselves that may appear real but is not real all.

And when I hear these responses, underneath there is the call of a larger truth desperately seeking a way out. It is the heart of that person trying to be heard above self-doubt and pleasing every single other person in your life except for you.

Now we all have responsibilities and yes, we have bills to pay. But please allow yourself the opportunity to ask what you really want and then listen to the answer. I can’t tell you how passionately I feel about this issue and when I see people getting up and doing the same thing repeatedly, that they don’t want to do (professionally or personally) I just think, ‘What is the point of that?’

Everyone single person reading this blog is here to live their purpose and I don’t care what that purpose is because it’s not mine, it’s yours. And if you don’t ask yourself the question, ‘What do I want?’ and listen carefully to the answer, you are missing out on one of your greatest gifts…the capacity in you to create whatever it is that you are here to create.

If listening is the second step, then the third one is taking some kind of action however small, to help move you in the direction you truly desire to go. That might be simply getting up 15 minutes earlier to develop that online course you know people out there need, before you go to work. It might be making sure you take a notebook with you on the train every morning so you can capture those beautiful thoughts about that book that is bursting from within you. Or it might simply be seeking the advice of someone to help you work out how to move forward from that terribly stuck place you find yourself. Perhaps it is as simple as asking for help. Whatever action you take will help you get there. It will help you move closer to what you want. It will help you reach the thing your heart desires.

Of course, there are always going to obstacles – who told you that the act of creating something amazing is easy? It’s not. There are peaks and troughs, lightning and raging seas along the way. But if you remember, ‘This is what I truly want’ and you just keep going you will be amazed at where you end up. It might even be a place you never expected that is so much more wonderful than you ever imagined.

So please, for every single one of you reading this post ask yourself ‘What is it that my heart truly desires?’ Then listen to the answer and take just a single step today towards your goal. You have a purpose and your heart needs you to heed its call. It’s what you were born to do.

What is intuitive mentoring?

What is intuitive mentoring?

‘What is intuitive mentoring?’ I’ve had this question (and a few others) numerous times so I thought I’d write a quick blog today and answer the top five questions about intuition and intuitive mentoring.

  1. What is intuitive mentoring?

Intuitive mentoring is a process designed to help you develop your self-awareness and connect more effectively into your intuition. It is about giving you the tools and techniques that will help you tune into the hints the Universe is sending you. This in turn helps you to trust yourself more and make better decisions in all facets of your life

  1. What is intuition?

Intuition is your inner knowing. You might also know it as your ‘gut feeling’, ‘instinct’ or (in Kath and Kim language) ‘feeling it in my waters’. It is essentially a feeling you get that you cannot explain through any rational thought process. For example, it’s the moment you interview a potential employee and think, ‘There’s something not right here’ although on paper and in every other way they seem perfectly fine. But a few months later, they leave with some of your best clients and you think, ‘Mmm, I should’ve listened to my gut feeling on that one.’

Or it’s when you have the opportunity to develop a new product with someone and the returns seem guaranteed, but something’s telling you it’s off so you decline. Then you find out two months later that the potential business partner has gone bankrupt due to some less than ideal business dealings. That was your intuition warning you to take care.

It can also apply in your personal life with that new man who seems perfect for you in every way but inside there’s this nagging feeling that something’s not quite right. Then you find money is starting to go missing from your purse and a friend shows you that your new partner is still on Tinder. Your intuition was warning you something was off.

  1. Does everyone have intuition?

Yes, we all have intuition but not all us of use it and some of us have developed it more strongly than others. It is something you are born with.

  1. How can I develop my intuition?

Developing your intuition requires you to grow you self-awareness and quiet your mind. This will enable you to tune into your intuition more easily. Your intuition often speaks with a quiet voice and this means you must be able to trust it (i.e. trust yourself) and ensure your brain is quiet enough so you can hear what your intuition is trying to tell you.

  1. How can my intuition help me?

People use their intuition in many ways to help with their business and personal lives. For example, in business it’s particularly useful in helping you to identify growth opportunities and new ways to approach old problems. In your personal life, it can help you to live more in alignment with what you really want to do and who you wish to be rather than being overly influenced by the agendas and beliefs of other people.

If you’d like more information about my intuitive mentoring, personal branding and life purpose programs, check out www.lucretiaswords.com

10 steps for using intuition in business

10 steps for using intuition in business

I was lucky enough to sit on a plenary panel and run some mini-workshops at the Queensland Government Small Business Week Event yesterday in Logan City and talked to a lot of small business owners about how to use their intuition to keep them on track and expand their business.

You don’t always hear a lot about intuition in business forums and I really enjoyed sharing my perspective about this topic with others in the room. You see, I believe we all have the capacity to access our intuition and it can help you in all facets of your life – personal and professional. You could call it your secret superpower. It’s that inner knowing (also known as your gut-feeling) that tells you where the opportunities are and gives you signs on how to move forward.

But your intellect (the reasoning of your mind) is also really important as well because it helps you take mere ideas and make them a reality through research, strategy and implementation.

If you rely on your intellect alone, you’ll miss opportunities to explore, expand and learn. If you rely on your intuition alone, you’ll be unable to bring your ideas to fruition in a tangible way.

When used together, your intuition and intellect can help you innovate your life and your business.

Your intuition can be an invaluable tool in helping you to spot opportunities and make effective decisions for your business. Unfortunately, we’re not always taught how to connect to our intuition and that means we often don’t hear it.

Yesterday I shared my top 10 ways to start connecting to your intuition and I thought I would post them here to. Perhaps they will help you to expand your business or help keep you on track.

  1. Give yourself some regular alone time. When you are busy, busy, busy your intuition can’t be heard above the noise of all your other thoughts. Make time to be alone without the company of other people or technology.
  1. Meditation is a great way to clear your mind of the daily clutter of existence. In its simplest form, meditation is about being completely present in the moment. Start by simply sitting quietly for five minutes and focusing on your breathing, in and out. Clearing your mind makes it easier for your intuition to have a voice and allows the ideas to bubble up to the surface.
  1. Notice the repeating patterns in your life. The Universe will frequently give you hints about opportunities but if you’re not paying attention, you might miss them. So when it seems like the same information is turning up repeatedly, take notice and explore it further.
  1. Be honest with yourself. There are lots of avenues you could explore that might make you money but, if you don’t really enjoy the work (or the outcomes) then, ultimately, you’re going to be unhappy. Listen to your inner voice.
  1. Build your self-awareness and stay in alignment with who you are. It can be easy to be taken off-track with the ‘next best thing’. Always check in with yourself and ask, ‘Is this in alignment with who I am and what I really want to do?’
  2. Allow yourself to explore the ‘crazy’ ideas. You’re an entrepreneur so that means you’re not meant to do the same thing forever. You’re here to explore opportunities so, if you get a feeling about something, follow it.
  3. Always trust yourself first. Other people will have valuable advice and knowledge to share but you need to listen to your inner voice and do what’s right for you. Listen to your gut feeling and don’t ignore it if it’s telling you to walk away from a ‘sure thing’ or go for something other people have dismissed.
  1. Keep a notebook and write down those seemingly ‘crazy’ ideas that come to mind. Sometimes the Universe will give you a hint of something but it’s not time yet…but you will need the details for later.
  1. Notice how your body feels when you’re exploring a new opportunity or just in your daily work-life. Your body will respond intuitively when you are ‘in flow’ (on the right track for you). You will feel lighter and more energised. When you are not in flow you will feel dragged down, more negative and overwhelmed.
  1. Notice how things shift when you’re ‘in flow’. If you’re on the right track then things will move more easily, obstacles will be less frequent and you will generally be able to achieve more. However, if you feel like you’re constantly hitting roadblocks, try stopping and asking your intuition, ‘What’s really going on here?’ There might be something wrong with your process, or the product or service you’re developing, or it could just be the time is not right yet. When you feel like you’re being repeatedly obstructed, there will inevitably be a good reason.
Wild-Eyed Students at the End of Semester

Wild-Eyed Students at the End of Semester

It’s that time of year when many of my students get a wild look in their eyes. The look suggests they’re almost having an out-of-body experience as, although they physically sit in my class, their brain has floated off to focus on all the things they must do before the end of semester. Being present and in the moment is almost impossible for some of them.

It’s this inability to be present coupled with an immense pressure to do well that can make life really difficult. These students will be extra hard on themselves, procrastinate (because starting an assignment is often scary because…what if they don’t do well) or totally mess up their submission because they’ve over-thought the whole thing and made it far more complicated than it needs to be.

As a former student with a strong perfectionist streak, I look at these students and can totally relate to their experience. But with the benefit of hindsight and yes, a couple of decades, I know that seeking perfection is a complete waste of time. As I said to one stressed teenager the other day, ‘Perfection doesn’t exist in nature so how could it possibly exist in humans?’

It’s a recurring theme and I feel like a lot of people keep trying to be perfect when they should just be themselves and know that’s enough. I mean, doing well at university is important because it will help you with your job prospects. But punishing yourself because you did your best but your marks aren’t as high as you would like is a pointless exercise. Far better to learn from what you did wrong and then apply that knowledge the next time – because you’re not perfect.

Similarly, worrying about all the things you haven’t done yet or will have to do at some point, is also a waste of energy. These types of thoughts will fry your brain with negativity and stress so that, when you finally sit down to do the work, you’ll already be exhausted and definitely not at your best.

Of course, this drive to be perfect and to constantly worry about or plan for the future is wholeheartedly supported and propagated by much of our mainstream media. Its focus on physical forms that are out of reach for the average person (um, supermodels are genetically wired to look like that) and the sentiment of needing to push for success and live the capitalist dream are everywhere. To be successful is to have money, have a high profile, look as physically perfect as possible and always be on the look out for the next best thing.

The voices advocating for looking within for your answers, accepting who you are as you are, doing your best and doing what is right for you, are frequently murmurs in the background rather than heard from the loudspeakers in our contemporary cultural conversations.

So, as I look at my students (who are frequently merely reflections of a much younger me), I just want them to know that if they do their best it will be enough. I want them to know that, if they can just be present in every moment as much as possible, it will help them to do better at their studies and at life. And above all, I want them to know that the pursuit of perfection is a journey without end. It is the pursuit of a mirage that will never take a tangible form.

So for all my fabulous students and every other student struggling with the pressures of end of semester, my advice is this: be present, be yourself, do your best, and know that is enough.

It’s A Good Thing To Change Your Mind

It’s A Good Thing To Change Your Mind

A few years ago, I was about a year into my business and there were a couple of clear directions I wanted to explore. These included running workshops for a particular target group who I knew needed the information, insights and techniques I could offer. So I talked to the right people, pitched my idea and I even ran a workshop with one group that went really well. But that’s as far as it went. The avenues I explored became dead ends and the contacts I reached out to couldn’t or wouldn’t take it further. It didn’t matter what I did or how hard I pushed, it just wouldn’t come to fruition. I ultimately abandoned the idea and went off to develop other parts of my business instead.

Around the same time, I can remember telling a good friend that I’d love to be on a not-for-profit board. With my strong background and passion for working with charities and community groups, my desire to help those types of organisations reach their potential was very high. But, as with the workshops, the timing and opportunities weren’t there so I shelved the idea.

Fast forward to the last 12 months, and the Universe has given me the opportunity to run the workshops I hoped for in 2012. There has also been some discussions about me sitting on a not-for-profit board. But when this suggestion was put to me, I felt a dragging sensation within.

When I talked it over with my friend Lauren she looked at me for a moment then said, ‘But you don’t want to do that anymore, do you?’

I had to admit she was right. A couple of years ago I would’ve jumped at the chance but now, the thought just pulled me down. Here I was being offered a fantastic opportunity but inside my inner voice said, ‘Nope, I don’t want to.’

I also realised I didn’t really want to do those kinds of workshops anymore either.

I felt like a complete fraud and had to question myself. How could it be that the work I’d so desired a few short years ago now no longer appealed? The Universe had finally delivered what I wanted but I no longer wanted it.

The truth was I had changed from that person I was in 2012. I had become someone different and the newest version of myself had left some of the old me behind in the past.

I had, quite simply, changed my mind.

I wondered if I was just a bit flaky and dare I say it, inconsistent (this thought pushed quite a few buttons for me!). But I couldn’t avoid the truth: I had changed and I wasn’t going to change back anytime soon.

I was left feeling unsettled but eventually came to the following conclusions.

It wasn’t about being flaky, losing face or being inconsistent. It was simply about choosing a different way because who I am today is different from who I was yesterday. And that shift is wonderful because it shows I’ve grown and I’m ready to make different choices, have different experiences and expand my heart.

I’m allowed to change my mind because it means I’ve decided to transform into the newest and most amazing version of myself.

Of course, it’s also possible for this to work in reverse. Years ago there were things I never wanted. But now I desire them very much. That too is part of the transformation of self that we all go through in our lives.

Either way, that transformation is a very natural and positive thing. It’s a good thing to change your mind.